


The Tender Trap

by sleepingseeker



Series: The Tender Trap [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Complete, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Fighting, First Kiss, Healing, Hope, Humiliation, Interspecies Romance, Lost Love, Love, Loyalty, Romance, Sexual Content, Swearing, Torture, Tragedy, family bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-21 01:14:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 69,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepingseeker/pseuds/sleepingseeker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My take on Leo & Karai. Always the protector, stoic & noble, Leonardo is undone by the mysterious & dangerous Karai. Despite the strong efforts of Raphael and even his father to stop him, Leonardo follows his heart and where it leads may be his end. </p><p>Winner of the 2013 StealthyStories FanFiction Competition, taking 1st place for: Best Drama, Best Romance, Best Villain, Best Leonardo, and 2nd place for Best Tragedy/Angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Trouble Brews

**Author's Note:**

> So this is loosely set in the 2012 universe, more of a blending of the 2003 and 2012. With Leonardo being a little older and really all of the brothers being a bit more mature. Karai is the Shredder's daughter, not Splinter's in this take. 
> 
> I like my stories with a touch of darkness, romance kissed with tragedy and hurt, so don't expect anything fluffy.  
> What started out as a little story, meant only to be a 5 chapter (at most) cautionary tale, has turned into something like a Magnum Opus for me and has sealed LeoxKarai in my heart and mind as my forever OTP of all time. I hope you enjoy the journey.

_"Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime." Mineko Iwasaki_

_"The things we love destroy us every time..."_  George R.R. Martin

* * *

**The Tender Trap**

**Chapter One – Trouble Brews**

* * *

She was grace and deadly stealth. She was delicate and fearsome cunning. He'd never seen anyone more breath-taking. Out of the shadows she stalked him, circling. Every move calculated. He watched her body as she moved, fascinated and mesmerized. Her black eyes glittered, rivaling the stars above them. Her katana gleamed. At once she pounced, fast and sure in her attack. Leonardo blocked, deflected her blade easily. Then again. Their movements becoming more like a dance as arms spun over head, feet shifted, heads bobbed, legs tensed and released. Breathing evenly, steadying his rapid heartbeats, he kept his head low, mind focused, anticipating and bracing, deflecting her oncoming blows. A half-smile crept across his mouth. Easy.

Then, just as he felt the battle won and he the obvious victor, her legs shot out of nowhere, catching him across his ankles, knocking him back onto his shell, knocking the wind from him. She stepped on his wrist, pressed down, forcing his hand to release his weapon. He gasped in pain. She tilted her head a bit and smirked. She brought the tip of her blade to under his chin. It bit into the soft flesh and he clenched his jaw. She stepped over him, straddling him and crouched over his chest. The blade replaced by her hand. Before he could react her mouth came down hard against his. She kissed him roughly, pressing his head back hard.

He felt a sudden splash of icy water so cold it hurt, startling him awake. He fought, blinking and sputtering, against the tangle of blankets wrapped around his legs. His brother's laughing voice was suddenly next to him.

"Hey, sleeping beauty! Wakey, wakey!" Michelangelo jumped back, laughing hard, empty bucket in hand, as Leonardo sat up in his bed growling fiercely.

 _"Mikey!"_  He snarled. "You're dead!"

Michelangelo bounced back a step, wiping his tearing up eyes with the back of one hand, still giggling hysterically.

"C'mon, man! How often do I get an opportunity like this? Leo, you never sleep late!"

Leonardo glowered at his brother, then glanced at the small alarm clock. He did a double take when the time registered. He ran a hand over his wet face. He gathered up the blanket and used it to dry off the rest of the water. He bunched it up and threw it at Michelangelo who made a show of lifting his foot as if terrified for it to touch him. Leonardo frowned. Over an hour past when he normally got up.  _Was he sick?_  A piece of the dream fluttered across his mind's eye, then evaporated. He swallowed dryly. His face a careful blank mask.

"I know, shocking, right? Anyway, Splinter and the others are waiting in the training room."

Head down, he gazed up at his grinning brother. "I'm coming. Just give me a sec, okay?"

Michelangelo tossed the bucket in the air and caught it behind his back. Leonardo was neither amused or entertained. Michelangelo shrugged.

"Just be glad I ran in here first, bro. Raph was gonna come get you for Splinter and I'm pretty sure he was gonna use some form of punching and hitting to wake you." He pantomimed punching in the air in front of him. Leonardo just huffed through his nose, unimpressed.

Michelangelo left then and Leonardo stood. He gathered up his gear, strapping the belts around his waist, hoisting the straps across his shoulder. This was the first time he'd ever been late for training, let alone sleeping in. Even when injured, he was usually first of his brothers out of bed. Simply a habit that formed over time from nervous anxiety of keeping the lair protected and his family secure.

It was the first time for him to have overslept. He frowned. What troubled him more, however, was the fact that this wasn't the first time his dreams revolved around a certain female foot soldier, by the name of Karai. Since he first fought her on the rooftop a few weeks ago, he couldn't get her out of his mind. Uneasiness coiled in the pit of his stomach. This was going to be trouble.

He sighed deeply as he headed for the training room. His face betraying nothing of the turmoil he felt inside as he entered and was immediately assaulted by the jabs and sarcastic comments lobbed by his brothers.

"About time you decided to join us," Donatello smirked over his shoulder as he spun his bo.

"Go back to sleep, Leo, you're still as ugly as ever," Raphael sniped. The others laughed. Leonardo ignored the jibe.

He shot a nervous glance at Master Splinter who said nothing, he bowed in front of him and turned to begin. Leonardo felt his eyes on him the entire time, observing his actions, taking in his every move. Inside Leonardo's face grew warm, outside the mask he wore endured.

...


	2. Judgment Lapse

**Chapter 2 – Judgment Lapse**

* * *

Later, they went up top for a simple practice run and to scout for any trouble in the neighborhood. As they ran and leapt deftly from rooftop to rooftop, minutes passed without a word from Leonardo. Raphael was too busy proving he could keep up with their fearless leader to talk, leaving Michelangelo and Donatello falling steadily behind, panting and sweating. Finally, after another hour of the relentless pace, Michelangelo called out.

"Ohkay! Yeah, this feels great!" He panted between words, coming to a stop next to him was Donatello who leaned his hands in his thighs to catch his breath. "But maybe we could be done now,  _por favor_?"

Leonardo stopped in his tracks, Raphael nearly bumping into him as he skidded to a stop. His breath came in heavy pants. He eyed Leonardo and was disgusted to see him breathing in and out in even measured breaths. He straightened up, hooked his hands in his belt and leaned on the building's parapet. He nodded towards his younger siblings.

"Give 'em a break, fearless. The children need a rest."

Donatello leaned on his bo, between breaths he said, "I'm fine. C-Could do this all night."

Raphael snorted. Michelangelo didn't have any pride to shelter and blurted out, "Not me!" He patted his stomach. "If we're done for the night, I am in need of fuel, as in Pizza Joes!" He laughed and pointed. "We're in the neighborhood, after all."

Leonardo scanned the rooftop in silence. The night had been a quiet one. Not a foot soldier in sight. He sighed.

"Go on. Be quick about it. Don't be seen."

"Gotcha, oh Kemo Sabe! Ninja style!"

He ran past Leonardo and flipped to the next building, suddenly full of reserved energy. Raphael snickered as Michelangelo knocked into some empty beer bottles someone left behind on the roof making a loud scattering racket. Donatello flinched.

"Is okay! Total ninja style, starting now!" Michelangelo called to them loudly.

Leonardo dropped his face into his hand.

"We'll meet cha back at the lair," Donatello said nodding to Raphael who took a moment to glance between his brothers. He didn't need to hear it spoken out loud that their eldest wasn't ready to turn in just yet. He'd been on edge ever since he'd waken up late that morning.

"I miss somethin' here? Ain't you comin'?" He asked Leonardo.

He shook his head. "I think I'll scout around for a bit longer."

"But it's dead tonight."

Leonardo shrugged.

"Suit yourself."

Raphael and Donatello leapt quickly and silently down to follow their exuberant little brother before he alerted the entire neighborhood of their proximity. Raphael cuffed Michelangelo on the back of the head. His protests and laughter followed Leonardo as he dashed to the other side of the rooftop. He wasn't ready to head back just yet. A couple more sweeps of the surrounding blocks. Maybe he'd head towards the shipping docks.

He ran until his throat and lungs burned; protesting being pushed so hard. The muscles in his calves and thighs burned, warming him. His flesh wore a glistening sheen of sweat. The blue mask wrapped around his eyes absorbed the tendrils slipping down from his forehead, keeping the salty drips from stinging and blurring his vision.

He stopped, stretching against the low wall of the factory roof he stopped on. The muscles in his legs quivered. His stomach growled loudly and he placed a hand across his middle. Maybe it was time to head back. Not that there'd be any pizza left for him. His brothers didn't exactly excel at self-control when it came to devouring food, especially when said food was pizza. He sighed. It may be cold noodles and tea for him tonight.

Well, that's what he got for staying out, searching for any sign of...his attention was captured by several shadowy figures slipping inside the factory building across from him. A smile crept across his face as one of the figure's weapon gleamed in the dirty lamp light. A hand held sickle. About time he found someone to play with.

He launched himself over the side of the building; crouching and pushing off from the sides of the bricks as he dropped lower and lower zigzagging side to side between the walls. He landed with a soft grunt and broke into a somersault, coming up with katanas unsheathed. The soldier turned, a box in his hands. Before he could react, Leonardo landed a kick square to his nose. There was a crack and the man went down in a heap.

Two more stepped out of the side door. Immediately they saw their downed companion and threw their boxes full of ammunition to the side and came at him. Bullets spilled into the gangway. One soldier pulled a shortened version of a chigi-riki from his belt. He swung the weighted, spiked end of the chain over his head while gripping the bamboo shaft at the other end. He swung it out at Leonardo's feet while his companion threw a handful of shurikens aimed at his chest and face. Gracefully, Leonardo sprung forward up and over his two attackers landing just behind them. He swung the blunt end of his sword's hilt into the back of the attackers head with the chigi-riki. He stumbled forward and dropped. Leonardo snorted in satisfaction.

"Amateurs."

Then the other soldier spun around. His foot came up fast and hard in a side kick, round house, side kick again. Leonardo deflected the blows; stooping and lurching back as the man pressed him backwards. A kick landed against the side of his thigh, attempting to knock him over, but Leonardo's muscle absorbed the blow, his feet squaring so as not to lose his balance and tip. The skin instantly darkened as the bruise rose. His fists came at Leonardo's face. Left, left. He backed up.  _This guy was fast!_  Leonardo blocked with his forearms, grunting with each blow. He began to regret all the running he'd done tonight. The fatigue he felt was slowly eating away at his adrenaline rush.

He stopped abruptly with a grunt as his shell hit a wall behind him. A jab connected. He was struck in his throat. Stars exploded in front of his vision, blinding him as he strained to gasp for air. Leonardo struck out blindly and couldn't believe his luck when he felt the blow connect. Choking, he wasted no time on following up with a slash and a swift front kick. The man went down as Leonardo stumbled forward, clutching his throat with one hand. His breath struggled to get through to his lungs. Black spots danced before his eyes. He sheathed his katana and braced himself with his hands on his thighs. The air began to painfully seep through. His vision cleared. A familiar voice made his head snap up. His breath caught in his searing throat.

"Having fun?"

Karai stepped from the shadows. Leonardo's eyes roved from her feet over her slim form to stop at her pale, oval-shaped face. The Kunoichi crossed her arms and smiled down at him. His hammering heart tripped. The yellow street lamp cast her face in shadow and light. He could see her eyes glittering with mischief. Slowly, and in a strange way, seductively, she pulled her short sword from the saya connected to the belt around her waist. The blade caught the light as she spun it in a lazy circle at her side. Sense returned to Leonardo and he tensed. He came to stand with feet spread and knees slightly bent. Her feet eased into a fighting stance. One hand, palm down, stretched out in front of her for balance, shoulder high. She pulled the sword back, held in her opposite hand, sliding it over her outstretched arm until it met her shoulder. Her eyes gazed at him over the silver edge. Hungry and taunting, they laughed at him.

"Let's play," she purred.

She brought the sword up in an arc now holding it with two hands as she came at him. Leonardo spun to the left to avoid her attack, pulling a katana free. He ducked as she swung the blade over his head. He swept his leg out but she easily jumped over it. She bent back and over in a flip, bracing herself on one hand, springing lightly back to her feet. Leonardo could only rush forward. She forced him into the offensive.

"Typical," she said.

He threw a punch followed by a round house kick. Her laughter fell around him like petals dancing in the wind. He suppressed a growl of frustration. The muscles in his arms rippled as he swung his katana. She avoided his sword with more back flips. Each swing cutting closer and closer as her body ever slipped away, just in front of him, just out of his reach. So close he caught the scent of her perfume. A woody fragrance with hints of something sweet and light. Cherry blossoms. That was it. It was lovely. Her heel came at his face suddenly snapping him out of his careless distracted daze. He turned his head and lurched back. Not enough to dodge her kick in its entirety, but the blow's power was lessened. Still, his teeth rattled in his mouth from the impact and the copper taste of blood numbed his tongue.

"Am I boring you, Leonardo?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"Maybe if you held still we could actually engage."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she taunted and Leonardo's cheeks colored deeply.

He swung at her again, but it was uncoordinated. His embarrassment making him off balance. She flipped back again, supple as a silk ribbon. Her laughter came again, mocking his impotent attempts. He rushed forward but quickly changed tactics. He dropped into a forward slide just as she landed on her hand, knocking into her wrist with his foot, the bones snapped with the impact. She cried out in shock and pain and collapsed on top of him, her legs going over his shoulders, her head slamming back hitting the ground between his feet.

There was a heart beat where no one moved, stunned from the collision. He fumbled trying to untangle from her limbs and get out from under her and right himself. He sat up and spun, one knee up, the other down. Braced for retaliation. But her body rolled to one side, then lay motionless. His eyes went wide. He leaned over her. He hesitated, then gently rolled her onto her back by her shoulder. She groaned. Her eyelids fluttered. Her onyx eyes rolled up and closed. Her head lulled to one side. Leonardo gently tapped the side of her face.

"Karai?"

He looked up, glanced over his shoulder at the soldiers laying unconscious and considered his predicament. He could just leave her. Most likely the cops would get to her before she came to. It was obvious that they were in the middle of robbing the place. Maybe some jail time would teach her some manners. But how long would she be kept? He looked down at her. Her wrist was definitely broken. He could tell by the way it was swelling. He frowned. He should just leave her. That would be the smart thing to do. It's what she deserved. That's what Splinter would tell him to do. He blinked. Then why wasn't he hoofing it out of there? The sky lightened above him as he grappled with indecision.

Then inspiration struck. He remembered the abandoned church he and his brothers had scoped out for a possible emergency. A few years back there'd been a fire and no one could raise the funds needed for repairs. It sat unused and forgotten for the past five years in a neighborhood that was mostly made up of storage facilities and a few packing factories.

He gathered her up in his arms and felt a mixed thrill of fear, excitement and guilt. She was heavier than she looked, but not unpleasantly so.  _No, you idiot! This is the opposite of what Splinter would have you do!_  He ignored the voice. It wasn't like he was bringing her to the lair, he argued with himself as his feet moved forward. As his hurried strides covered the ground, he held her body close to his chest.  _Just until she regained consciousness_ , he bartered with his conscience. Then he was out of there.

...

The splintered boards creaked as he crept through the broken remains of a door into the dusty interior of the abandoned church; careful to not hit her head against anything as he went. Light filtered in between stone angels and fractured stained glass. The shadows fell in a rainbow of colors as he laid Karai down. Broken and charred statues of saints gazed silently at the two figures; forever withholding judgment of the scene before them. He carefully spread a ragged blanket over her. He sprinted to the ruined side wall, rummaged through the emergency supplies that Donatello insisted they left. Water bottles, some canned items, rope...there it was. He found the first aid kit and thought to himself he owed Donatello big time for his intelligent planning. He wouldn't forget it.

He crept back to Karai and sat next to her. He set a bottle of water down next to her and opened the first aid kit. He grabbed the roll of white medical tape. Carefully, he rolled up her sleeve. Her wrist was already swelling and a purple bruise raised dark against her pale flesh. As gently as possible he began to wrap the tape around the injury. Tight but not too tight. He shook his head and smiled as he thought of how many times he'd had to wrap Mikey or Raph's wrists. By now, he could do this in his sleep. Her skin was soft and smooth beneath his fingers. Several times he glanced at her face and wondered if he should be worried about her not waking. Hoped it wasn't a concussion. He finished her wrist and placed it gently on her stomach.

Several doves flew from one of the rafters above them. Their wings shining white in the shafts of the sun's morning rays. The beating of their wings and the steady rise and fall of Karai's breath were the only sounds. Shadows retreated and deepened around them.

He looked from her wrist to her face. He reached over and with a finger, slid a piece of raven black hair from her face. His fingers hesitated at her temple and softly caressed down her cheek to her jaw. His heart skipped a beat. A faint moan came from her throat. Leonardo's hand snapped back and he scooted back a little; knees up, arms folded over the tops. He rested his chin on his arms and kept a silent vigil; soaking in every line, every detail of her face.

_What am I doing?_ _  
_..._ _


	3. Angel of the Morning

**Chapter 3 – Angel of the Morning**

* * *

Michelangelo slid the scrambled mix of eggs, mushrooms and spinach evenly onto five chipped and mismatched plates. He tossed the spatula and frying pan into the already full sink. Hmm, maybe he'd get out of dishes duty thanks to the marvelous breakfast he'd prepared. He turned and brought his hand up to the side of his face as he bellowed.

"Brrrreakfast is served!"

Donatello was first out emerging from the bathroom, his skin gleamed, still steaming from the hot shower.

"Looks great, Mikey." He paused, examining his plate. "Uh wait a minute, what's the green stuff?"

Michelangelo placed his fingers spread out over his heart, wrist bent, feigning offense.

"You castin' asparagus on my cookin'?" he asked in a fair imitation of Curly from the Three Stooges. Donatello only stared levelly at him. Raphael sat down with a thud.

"You mix algae into the eggs again, bro? 'Cuz that made me really sad last time and you know when I'm sad..." He cracked his knuckles and cocked an eye brow at Michelangelo.

"Chill people. It's spinach, okay? April brought some last time she dropped goodies off for us."

He scooped up a big forkful and shoved it into his mouth with a loud yummy noise as if proving not only was it edible, but delicious. Raphael and Donatello exchanged looks. Raphael shrugged. They woofed down their breakfast before Splinter made it to the table. The boys rushed from the kitchen as he sat. Michelangelo looked at Splinter as he finished up. He stood up and crept to the sink with his shell strategically blocking the view of the mountain of dirty dishes from Splinter.

"Smell delicious, Michelangelo."

"Thanks, Sensei!" He grinned.

"It almost shields my nose from the offensive stench of the filth behind you."

Michelangelo's grin fell, his shoulders sagged. With a downcast face, he grabbed his apron, tied it around his waist and snatched up the scrubber. Splinter's gaze fell upon the cooling plate of eggs across from his plate. His ears twitched. He looked towards Leonardo's room. A frown crossed his face. Where was his eldest son?

He stood and left the table. He rapped against the door of Leonardo's room and waited with his claws folded in front of him. He cocked his head to one side, listening for any sound; a snore, the rustle of sheets, groggy footsteps, anything. He glanced at Raphael reading his magazine and Donatello sitting on the floor near him tinkering with the remote for their television. He turned the knob and entered Leonardo's room. One look told him the story. The neatly made bed sat in the corner beneath a poster of Bruce Lee. Fear chilled his blood and congealed in the pit of his stomach. Leonardo never came home last night.

...

His eyes closed; cheek pressed into his bicep. Weariness fell like a whispering blanket over his shoulders; weighed against his muscles until they gave in; slowly yielding down from his neck, to his shoulders, arms, stomach, and legs. His eyelids half opened in a lazy attempt to fight back the sleep that already seemed to have taken his body, only to fall shut once more.

She rose up next to him. Leaned forward close to him. He watched silently, unmoving where he sat. The locks of her hair brushed the tops of her shoulders and he could hear the softest sound it made. Her face came closer to his and he raised it up as her hands swept gently along the sides of his arms to rest briefly at his shoulders before moving higher, stroking the sides of his cheeks. He closed his eyes with the pleasure of it. His heart beat was a muffled drum beat in his ears as her mouth found his.  _Karai_ , his thoughts murmured,  _Karai_. He fell back with the kiss, her body following on top; his arms wrapped around her back; the two of them flowing together slowly to the ground as one graceful being.

The crash woke him from the dream with a startled cry. His eyes snapped open. He was on his shell. He scrambled forward onto his hands and knees, panting with fear and confusion.  _Where?_  His eyes darted about. The resident doves flapped overhead, disturbed from their roosts by the noise. He realized then that he'd fallen asleep and must have rolled backwards into the burnt boards and debris behind the altar. He closed his eyes as his face flushed. He was glad no one saw him.

"Mmmm." Karai moaned and shifted.

Leonardo bolted to her side, his embarrassment forgotten, grabbed the water bottle and twisted it open. He hovered over her as her head turned to him and her eyes fluttered open.

Vision unfocused, Karai frowned at the figure before her. Someone loomed over her, dark skin, blue eyes sparkling in the dim light and...a pair of white wings sprouting from behind? Karai tucked her chin close to her chest and frowned deeper; blinking rapidly.

"Leonardo?" She asked, her voice came out soft, rough. Her mouth felt full of cotton.

If she were dead, she was pretty sure that heaven was not her destination. She was also sure it wouldn't be populated with angelic turtles, either. Her sight cleared with more furious blinking and Leonardo came into focus. The wings belonged to a statue who, at the angle she was laying, was directly above and behind Leonardo.

"Hey, you're awake. Can you sit up?" His voice was gentle, filled with kindness.

Her senses immediately went on full alert. She sat upright quickly. Her head throbbed and the room swam before her. She tilted to one side. She was annoyed to feel his hand catching her by the arm and easing her back up right.

"Not so fast," he chided.

She bristled; pulled her arm away and felt a sharp pain in her wrist that made her gasp. She looked down at the bandage wrapped around it. She stared stupidly at her wrist and the memory of the previous night came back to her in a rush of images.  _Oh no, the ammunition she was supposed to deliver!_  It was an easy task that her father made sure to point out every chance he got that even a simpleton could complete the job.  _This was all his fault!_  She turned narrowed eyes on Leonardo. He blinked and leaned back a little at the fire he saw there.

" _You_ ," She hissed. His eyes widened. She flung the blanket off her legs and came up on her knees. "You...You  _cretin_!" She screamed. Leonardo flinched, fell back onto his heels. "You-broke-my-wrist!" She shouted each word at him. "And  _kidnapped_  me?!" Her voice rose with incredulity.

"I . . . It wasn't my intention," he said helplessly. "And I didn't kidnap you-you were unconscious . . . and I-I . . . tried to..." he babbled on feeling more and more foolish under her glowering stare. Then anger flared up in his chest.  _This was his thanks for helping her?_

"Anyway, you were so busy acting like-like some stupid child, taunting me . . . and those flips? What kind of ninja fights like that?"

Karai rose unsteadily to her feet. She swayed a bit and Leonardo had to fight the urge to steady her. She brought her fingers up to her forehead for a moment; moved her head side to side which only made it pound more. She pointed a finger at him.

"Don't. Don't lecture me,  _turtle_ ," she spat.

Leonardo jumped to his feet. "You know what, I should've just left you there for the police," he shouted.

She glared at him. "Oh? And why didn't you?"

The question hit him like a slap. He opened and closed his mouth, at a loss. A smirk crept across her mouth and her uninjured hand moved to sit on her hip as she waited for a reply. With each passing second of silence, Leonardo felt his face burn. She raised her eye-brows and gave a short shake of her head.  _How pathetic._

"As much as I've loved this little," She spread her hands out and shook her head, "whatever this was, I best be on my way." She tilted her head a little, wagged a finger at him. "You're really lucky you didn't try anything, Leonardo." He frowned in confusion. "You know," she added, "while I was out."

He started. "I would  _never-_!"

Her teasing laughter cut him off as she climbed over the ruined church pews and slipped away. He could still hear her laughing at him outside the building until it faded away. He shifted his feet, felt his cheeks burning. He looked down at the water bottle still clenched in his hand. The water he'd tried to offer her when she opened her eyes. His grip tightened, the plastic crunched and collapsed in his fist. He turned and fired it hard against the wall. The doves scattered above him, fluttering about in a panic until they found their way out into the morning light.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't crazy about this chapter title, but at the end, the song popped into my head in sort of an ironic way.


	4. Facing the Consequences

* * *

As Karai's run broke down to a jog, then a finally slowing into a walk, she glanced at her throbbing wrist. It was broken, all right, she could tell from the pain when she tried to wiggle her fingers. But in truth, it would've been worse if Leonardo hadn't wrapped it. His face rose in her mind. He did have pretty eyes, she'd give him that. A tingle raced up her spine. She shivered in annoyance; rolled her stiff shoulders back. She could use an aspirin, too.

Her thoughts drifted back to their fight the night before. He knew how to use his katanas. He was fast, too. Luckily, she was faster. A crooked smile crept across her lips when she thought of his face when she'd teased him. Then again this morning . . . she was sure he'd blushed! She didn't know a turtle was capable of such a human action. He was just full of surprises. And it was fun keeping him off balance, she decided, and so easy to do.

It was clear that he had feelings for her. Otherwise, why didn't he just leave her for the police. Oh, her father would have  _loved_  that. Not only botching the assignment but getting caught in the process? She shivered, actually if it weren't for Leonardo taking her from the scene, she glanced at her bound wrist, caring for her, she'd be in much more trouble. She frowned, as an uneasy feeling swept through her stomach. Something tugged at the corner of her mind, just out of reach. She brushed it off, concentrated instead on the task ahead of her: reporting to her father that she had screwed up again. Wait until she told him, he was going to be thrilled. Dread slowed her footsteps. No, he was going to be furious. She rolled her eyes but fear, hard and real, coiled cold and hollow in the pit of her stomach, despite her bravado. She swallowed and broke back into a run. Best to get it over with. The sooner it was over the better.

* * *

Leonardo, still feeling angry and foolish for spending his entire night watching over that  _ungrateful, rotten, mean-spirited_...worst names drifted through his mind, and only to have her leave him stuttering and groping for words like an idiot, stormed into the lair and plowed right into Master Splinter. Leonardo's eyes went wide as he lurched back from Splinter's stumbling body. Splinter righted himself and cleared his throat. His hands gripped the top of his cane as Leonardo found his feet again; body going rigid with shock.  _How long was he waiting for him?_  He swallowed, feeling his mouth dry out, his stomach sink.

"Leonardo," Splinter said calmly, "you have decided to return home to us at last."

He could only nod mutely. His eyes, unsure, darted around at his brothers who had all stopped what they were doing to watch the show. Each wore a different expression. Michelangelo's face was comical, with his mouth opened and shaped in a large 'O'. Raphael peered at him over one elbow slung on the back of their couch. Leonardo could only see his green eyes, but he was sure his brother hid a smirk behind his arm. Donatello looked nervous and...sympathetic?

"After a long night of," Splinter's eye brow raised as he asked, his amber eyes glittered, "battling an enemy? Perhaps Purple Dragons?" Before he could answer, Splinter stepped around him observing his son. His nose sniffing here and there as he moved. "Hmmm. I see no battle wounds, no injuries..."

Leonardo fidgeted, becoming more nervous with each passing second. He clenched his sweating palms into fists at his sides. Splinter slammed the end of his cane down. The sound made a loud crack like thunder breaking. Leonardo's shoulders jumped.

"Ah! I have it! The night was spent fighting the Foot!"

"H-Hai, Sensei." Leonardo figured it wasn't a total lie.

"What a battle it must have been to keep you away from us the long hours of the night.  _Eh?_ "

Splinter finished circling around and stood once more facing him. Leonardo found it hard to meet his eyes. He found it hard to continue standing upright without swaying. He was exhausted. Concentrating on keeping his face a neutral mask, he stared in silence at the floor. It wasn't fair of Splinter to be so angry with him. He almost never went out without permission. Despite the calm manner he displayed, Leonardo knew Splinter was furious. He read it in his Master's eyes the second he saw them. Splinter's fingers tapped rhythmically against the top of his cane.

"Well?" He asked. "Aren't you eager to tell us about this incredible battle that you waged all night long?" He emphasized each of the last words of his question. Leonardo looked up then quickly down at the floor again. "How you managed to fight for hours at end and sustain no injuries? I had not realized my son was so skilled."

Raphael snickered from the couch.

Leonardo blurted, "I was! I-I did. I mean, there  _were_  Foot soldiers, Sensei. We fought and . . . there were more, a lot of them came at me . . . we fought some more . . . then . . . I-I guess I lost track of time."

Splinter stood, listening to his son babble. He could forgive him for being out all night, could forgive the thoughtlessness of no phone call so that his father and brothers would not worry or fear the worst had happened. What hurt him most was the lie. It was written plainly on his face, in his eyes, in his stance, in the tone of his voice. He knew his sons. He knew when they were being honest and when they were not. Many long years he had taught Leonardo the importance of truth and honor, especially in his role of leader. The two worked hand in hand with one another; one depended on the other to sustain integrity and balance. Break one away and the other soon falls as well.

"And why did you not call one of your brothers for aid?"

Leonardo glanced again around the room at his brothers for help. Donatello waved his hands in front of him in a desisting motion. Michelangelo was cradling his face in his palm. Raphael's eyes narrowed and Leonardo was sure he was smiling.

"I-I lost my shell cell."

 _"Oh?"_  Splinter leaned over and before Leonardo could blink, had snatched the phone from his belt. He held it before his son's face.

"Then...I found it," he said feebly.

"I am disappointed, Leonardo." Splinter's voice was low and as threatening as an oncoming thunderstorm. His words stung Leonardo's heart like a wasp. "Your brothers returned home reporting to me that the night held no enemy, no...action, as you say."

Splinter shook his head. He stared at Leonardo. His hard gaze bore into him, through him.

"Let me be clear. That you wished to stay out all night is not what I am angry with you about. It is the lies you so quickly chose to weave."

Leonardo shifted his feet. The weight of Splinter's disappointment made him feel sick. His anger made him feel small and childishly afraid. He wanted to shout at him. To defend himself. To tell him that he did fight the Foot and had done an honorable thing in assisting someone who was injured. Someone defenseless at the time. Someone who needed his help.  _Someone special_ , his mind whispered. But the words collided with each other in his mind, falling unused onto his dry tongue. He couldn't tell him for it would mean more lies. Splinter would want to know who he had assisted. He chose instead to tell a half truth.

"Sensei, there were Foot soldiers and we did battle," his voice was steady, but his gaze was not. It broke and fell from Master Splinter's unwavering eyes before he finished his sentence.

"All night?"

Leonardo's mouth hung open. Karai's face, unconscious and beautiful, flashed before his mind and he closed his mouth, looked down abashed.

"Sensei, I . . . swear I . . . t-there were..." His voice had taken on a whining quality that shamed him deeply. He shut his mouth with a snap.

 _"Enough!"_  Splinter's eyes flashed. "Push up position,  _now_!" He shouted and from the corner of Leonardo's eye, he saw two of his brother's flinch at their father raising his voice.

Leonardo scurried quickly to the dojo, his face burning. Raphael made some snide comment under his breath as he passed, but he didn't make it out. Splinter followed, his tail lashing behind him. Leonardo got on his hands and knees on the mat as he entered the room.

"No, Leonardo. Use the board," he said sharply.

The board was only used when Master Splinter was furious with them. Leonardo had been sent to the board only twice before. They'd joked before that Raphael had his knuckle imprints on the other side from the many times he'd been sent.

"Hai, Sensei," Leonardo replied in a soft voice.

He hurried to the weapons wall and pulled down a long two by four board of solid wood from a shelf. He placed it on the floor and balled his fists. He took up the position without a word. His knuckles pressed into the board as he raised up his body into a plank-like position. Splinter crossed the room and sat on the bench, watching him with bristled whiskers and flashing eyes.

"Twenty five minutes."

"Hai, S-Sensei," Leonardo said, miserable.

After fifteen minutes, his biceps and forearms started to tremble. The pain in his hands was a relentless cramping agony. His fingers were numb and his shoulders screamed in protest. He regretted running so hard the night before. And staying up all night. He should have gotten some sleep. The regret formed a bitter lump in the back of his throat. Sweat ran down into the corners of his mouth and down his neck; falling and sprinkling small circles onto the blond color of the board. He stared at the pattern it made between his fists. He blinked and gritted his teeth. But he did not regret the choice he made. He would not have traded having the chance to sit next to her all night for anything.

At twenty minutes his brothers came into the dojo to practice their morning exercises. Raphael had the kindness to bite his tongue and only smirk at Leonardo as he and Donatello began to spar. Then again, he probably didn't want to risk Splinter's fury while he was so upset. With round eyes, Michelangelo stepped around Leonardo.

"Michelangelo, assist your brother."

For a brief second, Leonardo thought he meant for him to help him up.

"Master?" Michelangelo asked, confused.

"Leonardo must be reminded that he bears the burden and responsibility of setting the example for his younger siblings. This burden of being honest and truthful is something he must not forget. On his shell, now."

"Hai, Sensei." Michelangelo turned to him and mumbled, "Sorry, bro."

Leonardo clenched his jaw as he felt Michelangelo clamber up onto his back and sit crossed legged. His weight pressed Leonardo's knuckles painfully down into the unforgiving wood. It cracked a little with the added weight. He bit back a groan as his shoulders, legs and wrists burned and ached. Five more minutes, five more minutes, he repeated in his mind. The five minutes crawled and seemed longer than the first twenty minutes he stayed in the position.

When Splinter finally called out, Michelangelo leapt from his back and Leonardo collapsed to the floor. His chin slammed into the board painfully. His arms quaked, knuckles bruised, shoulders screamed in agony. He struggled to his feet and put the board back in place when he turned to leave the room.

"Where are you going?" Splinter asked sharply.

Leonardo looked up and blinked. His eyes were bright with tears of exhaustion and fury. So, his lesson was not quite over. With legs feeling like lead, he turned away from the exit and with shaking arms took down his practice swords from the wall. They never felt heavier in his grip. From the corner of his eye, he could see Raphael grinning like a ghoul. He turned to him and stood in a sparring stance. He could barely raise his trembling arms. His body swayed to the left before he righted himself.

"Begin," Splinter called.

Raphael came at him fast and hard. Holding little back. Leonardo clenched his jaw. If Splinter wanted to push him, he'd fight back just as hard. But his exhaustion conspired against him. He was knocked down. Again and again. The sais snapped at his numb fingers and trembling arms like snakes. His feet were swept out from under him, a clumsy block threw him off balance and down, the wind knocked out of him, a sloppy swing and Raphael kicked him squarely in the chest. He stumbled backwards and fell onto his shell, gasping. He struggled weakly to get up. Each limb protested his effort, his body fought against his will as much as his brother fought against him physically. Leonardo's body hit the mat again and again until finally he tried to come to his hands and knees only to slide back down.

Raphael had been unusually quiet as they sparred. Now, he crouched near Leonardo as he braced one hand on the mat attempting to push himself up.

"Do yourself a favor, chief, stay down," he muttered not unkindly.

He pushed against Leonardo's rising shell as he stood and strength fled Leonardo as his arms gave out and he collapsed down, flat on the mat.

"Enough," Master Splinter said. He moved to stand in front of Leonardo's prone form. "I trust you have learned your lesson, my son. Lying and deceit will not be tolerated in this family."

"H-Hai," Leonardo said quietly, his voice muffled from the mat, his hands clutched in front of his head. He closed his eyes tightly and willed himself not to cry. He was a not a child anymore.  _No, I'm too old to cry over punishments_. He would face the consequences of his actions with honor. He was a warrior. He did nothing wrong except to lie, but that was for a good reason. And he was determined to see Karai again.  _I'll go out tonight_ , he thought stubbornly. He just would be more careful to not get caught, that way he wouldn't need to lie to his father again.

Splinter nodded solemnly. "Go now, meditate on this...and rest," he added in a quiet voice. " No afternoon practice today." He was firm and strict when it came to his students, especially when it came to his eldest. He needed to hone the boy into a man.  _But I am not cruel_ , he thought, watching Leonardo climb to his feet and unsteadily leave the dojo.

* * *

Karai stood in front of her bedroom door. She gripped the throwing star stuck to the wood paneling and jerked it free. The note it was pinning slipped into her outstretched hand. She caught it in her fist, crumpled it. She didn't need to read it to know it was a summons to her father's chamber.

Minutes later she entered the expansive room. She stood in the center of a circular doorway, on either side a wall made of ornate metal designs. Her father stood facing the window, overlooking the cityscape below. He was dressed casually in a silk black robe. His hands were clasped behind his back. She took a deep breath and steadied herself, wishing her head wasn't pounding and really wanting nothing more than to be in a hot shower right now. The throbbing pain in her wrist was another distraction.

"The assignment you asked me to give you ended in failure. As all the others have."

She stood silently. Still. Inside her stomach curdled and her heart fluttered like the wings of a hummingbird.

"So many things to distract you." He sighed and turned. The scars on his face stood out, ugly and twisted. Karai did not break her gaze from him. His followers knelt when addressing him, she'd drop to her knees only if he made her. She held her tongue, knowing whatever she tried to say in her defense would not matter in the least.

"One of the men who escorted you on this assignment reported to me something I found quite disturbing, daughter." He stepped closer to her, black eyes blazing. "Would you like to explain to me why one of the turtles was seen carrying you off like some  _cheap prize_?" He spit the last words at her.

"He was lying," she said automatically.

Shredder's hand came so fast she couldn't have braced herself in time even if she'd wanted to. The force of the backhand knocked her back to the floor. Stars exploded behind her eyelids and she tasted the warm coppery flavor of blood. Her wrist ached sharply from the impact. When she fell, she didn't have a chance to protect it and her side landed on it painfully. She cradled it close to her chest for a moment, but didn't want to show any weakness in front of him. Her head pounded furiously as she came to her feet. She fisted her hands to stop the shaking and looked him in the eye. The throbbing in her wrist worked its way up to her elbow and shoulder.

"He was lying," she repeated, her voice trembled only a little at the end. Shredder advanced on her and she quickly added, "You think I'm so stupid that I'd let something like  _that_  happen to me? That I'd allow one of those  _freaks_  to  _touch_   _me_." He stopped, inches away, searching her eyes with his. She dared to narrow hers to slits. "You insult me, father."

"Then where were you all night, daughter?"

A smirk crossed her mouth. It hurt her swollen lip, but she ignored the pain, drew strength from it.

"Having fun, what else?"

She fell to the floor again from the blow, never even seeing this one. She blinked as the daze wore off revealing the terrible pain in her left eye. Something warm rain down her cheek into her ear. The vision of running a blade across his throat flitted through her mind. But just for a second. She  _hated_  him,  _god, she did_. But she also, in the deep pit of her heart, loved him. He was the only family she had. She realized he was talking to her as she rolled off to her side, propping herself up on one elbow. She was going to be sick, right here on his beautiful Persian rug. In her mind she chuckled with the thought and almost willed it to happen. Almost. Her heart froze as she concentrated on what he was saying.

"...for the best. Perhaps I should arrange for you to return to the boarding school in Japan."

Her eyes widened.  _"No,"_  she breathed. Icy fear made her insides feel watery and weak. She would never go back to that place of her nightmares. She'd die first. She'd do anything he'd ask. Anything. She came to her knees in supplication then, her forehead pressed into the rug. Blood dribbled from her cracked lip and cut near her eye.

"Please, father. I will prove myself to you." Her voice was meek. "Give me another chance."

Shredder regarded her coldly, unmoved. "Get out of my sight."

She scrambled to her feet and slipped out of his room without a sound. She ran down the hallway, a mess of pain and fright. Her heart hammered and her chest heaved. She would not go back,  _she would never go back!_ She opened the door of her room and slammed it shut behind her back. She slid down to the floor and dropped her head onto her knees and wrapped her arms around her head and started to cry. Painful sobs cut through her chest. Her eye and side of her face throbbed in time with her wrist. Unbidden, Leonardo's kind eyes came into her thoughts then and the vision comforted her. She wiped her nose and decided she was going out as soon as she could get away tonight.

* * *

Later that night, as Karai slipped into the welcoming darkness, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt over her red tank-top, black jeans and flat black boots. A bottle of her father's sake gripped in one fist. Shredder watched his daughter go. He turned to the Foot soldier besides him.

"Shadow her. Report to me where she goes, what she does, whom she speaks to."

The soldier nodded and slunk into the shadows after her. Shredder crossed his arms. He'd get his answers now.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, there you have it. I anticipate that some of you may think I went a bit too far with Leonardo's punishment, but my husband went through the exact type of reprimand when he trained in Tae Kwon Do many years ago. (He's a black belt and taught it for a while himself) And yes, it hurts. But it gets the message across of what is tolerated and not. Of course, if you're a teen who's lonely and falling in love, nothing will stop you in your folly.
> 
> How am I doing Karai so far? I don't want to make her too bratty but more strong-willed and independent and well, messed up emotionally a bit. Unfortunately, a lot of Karai's issues I can personally relate to and am pulling some of this stuff from personal experiences. eep! TMI?! Well, let's just say that I get teased by my hubby whenever Leo and Karai are on or I bring up the pairing, because the two remind us a little too closely of ourselves, I guess.
> 
> Anyway, thank you to everyone following, favoriting and leaving reviews. I love the reviews! xoxox


	5. Moment of Weakness

_"Graceless lady you know who I am - You know I can't let you slide through my hands…_  
 _Wild horses, couldn't drag me away - Wild wild horses couldn't drag me away…_ " – Mick Jagger,  _Wild Horses_

* * *

__

Leonardo raced through the alley until he paused and jumped nimbly on top of a dumpster then leapt to the fire escape. He pulled himself up, biceps bunching as he did. His arms and shoulders still ached from his punishment from before. He ignored it. Lucky for him, Splinter gave them the afternoon off, so in preparation for tonight, he'd managed to sleep a few hours. He felt rested and adrenaline pumped through his system, buoying him.

The night air was soft and cool against his skin as he climbed higher. There was an electric feel to the atmosphere that prickled across his flesh like excitement made physical. He didn't know if it was because of the growing storm clouds above or his anticipation. An ambulance cried out somewhere in the distance and a dog barked in the neighborhood below as he stepped out on the roof of the apartment. His eyes scan the roof tops for any sign of the Foot. Or any sign of her. Disappointment hit him as he found the surrounding area empty. He sighed and decided to move down a few blocks to a higher building not far from where he'd first met and then fought with Karai.

Movement caught his eye and he turned. Raphael swung his legs over the parapet and he came to stand a few feet away, arms crossed. A smirk played across his mouth as he looked at Leonardo.

"Raph!"

"Sneakin' out, huh? You're more of a glutton for punishment than I am lately. And that's sayin' something."

"I wasn't sneaking. I'm . . . patrolling."

Raphael snickered and shook his head, waving his hand. "Man, you suck at lyin'. Save it for Splinter." He moved to stand next to Leonardo, leaned against the wall and looked out over the roof tops. He turned his eyes to Leonardo and gazed deeply at him. "What are you  _really_  doin' out here, Leo?"

Leonardo frowned and eyed him from the corner of his eye before dropping his gaze and refocusing on the gray and yellowish clouds gathering over head. A flash of blue lightning lit the sky in ghostly shadows. He turned to his brother, his face a neutral mask of calmness.

"I'm patrolling. Go home, Raph," he said coolly. "I'll be heading back soon. The night's dead."

Raphael stood still, considering his brother, his eyes searching Leonardo's face. He sighed and shook his head.

"Whatever's been eatin' at ya, you know you can talk to me, bro."

Leonardo raised his eye brows, surprised. "Th...Thanks, Raph." A pang of guilt gnawed at him for lying to Raphael. But he wouldn't understand if he tried to explain. He didn't know what he'd even say to try to explain. "It's nothing. Really. Go home, get some sleep. I'll be home soon."

Raphael nodded, seemingly convinced. "Sure. See you in the morning."

He turned and Leonardo watched him go. Relief washed through him. When he was alone, he stepped back and took a running start to leap the distance between buildings, heading for the tall building with the water tower attached.  _Please be out tonight,_ he thought. He really wanted to see her again. Behind him, unknown to him, silent and blending with the shadows, Raphael followed.

* * *

He stopped as lightning flashed above in a horizontal arc lighting up the black sky. In the momentary light, he saw a figure crouched on the edge of the building ahead. With caution, Leonardo quickly and quietly leapt to the roof. He stepped around the support beams of the water tower to get a better look. His heart galloped suddenly. It was her! Karai! She was just sitting there. He waited, unsure. He didn't want to startle her, but he was surprised she hadn't heard him approach. He chalked it up to his superior ninja skills and smirked to himself. She sniffled and he started.  _Was she crying?_  He took several steps towards her heedless of any noise he made.

"Karai?" he asked softly and reached out to her.

There was something in her hand and for a moment he thought it was a weapon. He hesitated and braced himself for a surprise attack but slowly relaxed as she continued to ignore him. Something was wrong.

"Are . . . Are you okay?"

She wiped her nose roughly and chuckled without turning. "Don't be stupid." Her words were slurred.

He moved closer and slowly, slowly he leaned over to peer at her face hidden in the shadows of her dark hair. She spun around away from him and jumped off the ledge to her feet. He saw now that it was a bottle in her uninjured hand. She raised it and took a long drink. She held it in front of her, considering the remaining contents and swayed a little to one side.

 _She was drunk_ , he thought with shock. She looked up at him suddenly and smiled. Leonardo gasped. Her face sported a deep swollen bruise near her mouth and her eye had been blackened. He rushed up to her. His face a mask of concern and anger.

"Karai, what  _happened_  to you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Pfft, you're always so serious." She poked him in the chest with the finger of the hand holding the bottle. The contents sloshed around inside. "You need to loosen up." The 'p' sound popped from her lips. Her expression brightened as she looked from the bottle to his face.

"I know what you need! Have some!" She pushed the bottle at him. He frowned and gently knocked it away.

"No thanks," he said feeling aggravated and fearful at once.  _What happened to her? When he learned who did this, he was going to…_ He shook his head, clearing the ghastly images of his retribution away. She shouldn't be on a roof in this condition.

"C'mon. It's really good! Stole it from my father's imported stash." She brought it up to his face. He knocked it away. This time with a bit more force.

"Just take a sip. It won't hurt you."

She brought the bottle up and shoved it hard against his mouth. The glass hit against his lips and teeth painfully. The liquid spilled over his chin. Leonardo stumbled back, smacking her hand away hard. The bottle flew from her grip and shattered against the metal support beam of the water tower.

"Real nice. God, you know who'd be more fun?"

Leonardo glared at her, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth and dripping chin. He tasted a drop of blood on the inside of his bottom lip. The alcohol stung the small cut. His chest rose and fell with his breath. His heart pounded. He didn't want to hear what she was about to say. But he was frozen to the spot. Lightning flashed behind him, casting them in sharp relief. Thunder reverberated in the distance low and growling.

"You're brother, red." She smirked, watching amused as his expression darkened. Knowing she hit a nerve. "He's a wild one." She leaned her back up against the low wall of the roof; looked up at the sky. Her voice dropped into a seductive tone. "We'd have  _lots_  of fun together."

Leonardo's hands fisted. His heart hammered as he turned away from her and her stinging words. He closed his eyes against the anger and jealousy that rose up as suddenly as the thunder in his chest. He knew she was just toying with him. That he shouldn't let her empty words bother him. She was drunk and being stupid.

"I don't need this," he spat.

He started to walk away from her when the rain fell upon them in a deluge. Karai cried out and Leonardo's steps hesitated.

"Wait," she called softly almost too soft to hear over the thundering curtain of rain.

In the time it took for him to turn to her, they were both soaked. He blinked through the rain. She was standing with her arms awkwardly wrapped around her. Her hair plastered to her head. The purple bruises on her face stood out, looking mean and painful. He huffed, unsure; torn between wanting to leave and wanting to hear what she was going to say.

She moved closer to him and each step she took, his heart hammered harder, until she stood directly in front of him. He could see the details of her wounds and his heart constricted. He swallowed. She closed her eyes and leaned her cheek down against his collar bone. The front of her body pressed against him. His eyelids fluttered closed. He slowly moved his mouth to the top of her head. Her scent, woody and sweet, rose above the wet cool smell of the rain. He gently moved his trembling hands to her upper arms.

"Take me somewhere safe," she said, her voice muffled against him, drowned out by the relentless rain, but he heard every syllable.

In one swift move, he stooped and scooped her up into his arms. She didn't fight. She kept her eyes closed; cheek pressed against his chest. One hand went up his chest and wrapped around the back of his neck. He suppressed a shudder. Holding her tightly, but carefully, he ran and leapt to the nearest roof top.

"What the hell..."

Raphael stepped out of the shadows. His face frozen in shock as the rain ran in rivers down over his head, his plastron and shell. He took two steps forward but fell instantly into a crouch as another shadow emerged from the building on his left. Quickly, he shuffled to the edge of the roof and watched with wide eyes and growing fear as one of Shredder's elite guards leapt to the building his brother was just on and made to follow.

"Damn. This keeps gettin' better and better," he said.


	6. Better and Better

**Chapter 6 – Better and Better**

* * *

The rain poured through the openings in the church's roof making small cascades of shimmering light in the shadows. The burnt and ruined faces of the statues of saints flickered in the wavering shadows. The doves' feathers rustled above them as Leonardo eased his way through the hidden entrance and entered the main gathering area of the church where he'd brought her just the other night. He stood for a moment, unsure. As her hand released his neck, he leaned down and set her feet on the ground.

She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered. He thought of the supplies and moved to fetch her a blanket. He found it folded with the first aid kit and food supplies where he'd put it the other day. He stood and turned to her. His eyes widened and his heart jumped into his throat.

Karai pulled her sweatshirt over her head, revealing a tight red tank top clinging to her torso, bunched at the waist exposing her midriff. She tossed the soaked sweatshirt and it caught on the singed angel's wing. She bent and pulled off her boots then quickly hooked her thumbs under the waist band of her jeans and slipped them off, her pale, firm legs stood out in the shadows. Leonardo's eyes traveled up from her toned legs and rested on the black panties she wore. He swallowed and his heart stumbled. Her hands went to her hips and she cleared her throat. Leonardo quickly turned away realizing in horror she caught him watching her. His cheeks flushed and he shut his eyes tightly, mentally cursing himself, still with his arm extended; offering the blanket to her in a slightly shaking fist.

He jumped as he felt her hand suddenly trailing along his opposite shoulder.  _Kunoichi skills_ , he thought, impressed. Her fingers pressing gently into his damp skin, turning him to face her. He brought the blanket around and held it protectively in front of him, between them. Her index and middle finger traced along the ridge of his collar bone, just above the top plate of his plastron coming to stop in the middle.

All confidence fled him. He was sure she could hear the furious way his heart pounded. His legs felt weak and rubbery. The roaring of the rain against the building was only matched by the roaring of his blood in his ears. Her fingers moved to the crease where his plastron divided his chest. As her fingers slowly traced down between the plates of his plastron, her eyes watched his. His entire body started to tremble. He couldn't make it stop. He opened his mouth to say something but the words were caught in his throat and stolen away from him as she inched her face closer to his, tilting it ever so slightly to the left.

 _What was happening? Did she…was she…she was going to_ …his mind couldn't even finish the thought. His blue eyes darted back and forth between hers, his fear and desire written plainly within them. Her eyes closed.

_This was it! His first kiss!_

His breath became shallow and heavy. The trembling of his body turned into shaking and he tightened his grip on the blanket; fighting for composure. He had to calm down. He was nineteen; a ninja; he could handle anything. He could certainly handle something as small as a kiss. A small amount of confidence flickered to life within him like a fragile flame. His eyelids fluttered closed as he started to lean his face towards her.

Her chuckle snapped him to attention as the blanket was snatched from his grip. He nearly stumbled forward, but caught himself. His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. He blinked a couple of times, confusion immediately replaced with feeling like a fool. His face burned as he swung his head around. She walked away from him; wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and then sat with her knees drawn up near the ruined altar. When she finally looked at him a wry smile played across her face. Her eyes glittered with mischief.

"Are you going to stand there all night long?" she asked, swinging her head to knock a wet lock of hair from her face.

"Wh-What?"

The blood was still racing through his ears; that and the burning feeling of humiliation distracted him. Quickly, he gathered himself together.  _More games,_  he thought. He folded his arms across his chest and took in a deep breath; trying his best to appear calm and not the least bit flustered. But his eyes widened a little as she patted the spot next to her, inviting him. He bit his lip and the cut from the bottle stung. He tasted blood.

 _Just leave now, Leo_ , he thought. He glanced around; indecisive and still feeling foolish. The rain continued to hammer outside. It poured in rivers over the stained glass giving the inside of the church as surreal rippling rainbow effect. His gaze found their way back to her face. She tilted her head, considering him.

In a soft voice she said, "Come over here and hold me."

* * *

The dread grew as Raphael struggled to keep up with the soldier. He seemed to blend in and out of the shadows as he moved through the rain with precision speed and stealth. Several times Raphael thought he lost him only to sigh hard with relief when he spotted him again. But before long, he realized with a sick feeling that he knew where Leo was taking Karai. The burnt out church.

That moron was taking her straight to one of their safe places! One of a precious few haunts that they could use in case of an emergency or hold up if caught injured and alone. Now, Leo was bringing a woman there, and not any woman, a Foot soldier. Raphael felt his anger rising at his older brother. His thoughts were muddled with confusion and building rage.

 _What the hell is he thinking?!_   _Why would he do something so stupid, so reckless? Wasn't Leo the one to point out constantly how important it was to keep these places safe and secret?_

He pushed the thoughts away. He couldn't waste time or energy on thinking about that right now. He needed to focus. That ninja was an elite. They weren't exactly an easy opponent. He had to take care of that problem first, then later, he'd beat the shit out of his older brother. Then he'd ask him what he was thinking.  _Yeah_ , Raphael grinned,  _that sounded like a plan._

The ninja slid over the roof of the factory and dropped down to the ground with a soft splash just yards away from the wreckage of the church. He crept closer. Raphael, sais drawn, pounced.

"No ambush for you tonight, asshole," he said as he punched the soldier again and again in the head.

Slippery and quick as a snake, he twisted and jerked, knocking Raphael off him. He pulled a pair of sais out from his belt and Raphael smiled.

"Okay then, let's dance," he said as he twirled his own.

* * *

Inside, Leonardo sighed. He moved and crouched near Karai, close, but not too close; searching her dark eyes. He shook his head, his tongue gently touched the cut on the inside of his lip; tasted blood again. It stung and he took courage from the pain. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were sad.

"What do you want from me, Karai?" he asked with a sigh.

She leveled a look at him; stared into his eyes. They were wary and hurt as he waited for an answer. But there was also something else; something he tried to hide but she saw it there, plainly; a lonely hunger and it called to her. That's what she was interested in. That's what made her want to stay. Despite what she told her father, she was fascinated by Leonardo and his brothers since the day she first heard of their existence. She wanted to toy with him, yes. But she was curious, too. And lonely as well.

"What do you think?" she asked him. Her voice low and husky.

Slowly, she dropped the blanket from her shoulders and eased herself closer to him. He sat back on his heels, following her every move with his eyes. He kept his face a neutral mask. But his breath caught as she came in close and reached up and took either side of his face into her hands. She tilted her head and breathed in, pausing a moment and in that moment, Leonardo felt a thrill of terror and joy, then she pressed her lips to his mouth, hard. His eyelids dropped and closed tightly as his heart raced and his body contracted; leaning in to her.

It was different from his dreams, so different: wet and soft and salty from her tears from earlier and the metal tang of the blood from his cut all mingled together; it was . . . so much better.

Karai didn't want to think about the pain from her father's blows; didn't want to think of the consequences these actions would certainly bring. She just wanted to feel something other than fear and pain and anger and loneliness. As Leonardo's mouth pressed back against her lips, she heard a whimper break from his throat and it sent a thrill through her.

 _Oh, yes, this is much better,_  she thought. Her heart started to beat hard and her body warmed despite her skin feeling damp and cold in the drafty church.

* * *

Raphael stumbled to one side, his fist pressed against the deep gash in his left shoulder. The blood oozed thick and continuously down his arm mixing with the rain in a pink-tinged rivulet, staining the white wrappings around his wrist a brownish red. The pain was fire and it ran through his shoulder and down to his hand. He blinked furiously, trying to clear the rain from his eyesight as he circled the ninja who twirled his sais around and around. The drops of water spun off the wicked points as he did. He was silent the entire time, not responding to any of the jibes or sarcastic comments Raphael hurled, attempting to distract the soldier. The ninja's silence hung heavy with intimidation and superiority.

Raphael growled deeply in his throat and the ninja lunged at him. He was fast and skilled as all of Shredder's elite guards were. Raphael brought up his arms blocking the punches, moving back and back again, avoiding the swiping blades and quick jabs at his face and torso. Raphael found an opening and swung his leg around only to have it caught between the sais, the soldier twisted his shoulders and Raphael went down. The force of it knocked one of Raphael's sais from his fist.

"Dammit!"

Immediately, the soldier fell on top of him. Raphael blocked with his forearm; breath forced out of him in a grunt as the soldier drove a knee into his chest. His grunt turned into a short bark of pain as he felt the tip of his sai cut through and into him between his shell and plastron under his right arm. The sharp pain in his side shook him as he felt the soldier push it deeper and  _twisted_. Raphael writhed beneath him and bit his tongue until he tasted blood from the pain.

_"Unnnngh!"_

* * *

Leonardo felt her kiss change from tentative to more urgent. Her mouth pressing, releasing and pressing into his again and again. Her hands moved up and down his plastron, trailing over each scar and indentation, exploring him, causing his blood to race through his veins, the sensations rippling through him; urging him to pull her closer, closer. He kept his hands resting gently on her upper back when everything in him wanted to explore her body as she was doing to him. His arms trembled with the effort of maintaining his control. His body thrummed with excitement.

"I want you, Leo," she murmured into his neck.

His body quaked and his need became absolutely painful. Her hands fumbled with his belt, then moved lower, exploring urgently, finger probing and pressing.  _Oh god_ , he thought and nearly let go of his control, nearly released himself. His breath caught and he pulled away.

_No, not like this._

He wanted her,  _oh, god_   _yes_ , but not like  _this_. Not when he'd be nothing more than a blur in her hung-over mind. Something she could forget, or worse  _regret_. His hands went to her arms, pushing them gently away from his body. He shook his head.

"W-Wait. Karai." His voice was ragged. His breath shallow and heavy. His body hurt with desire; demanded relief. She looked at him, confused. He swallowed; gathered his strength; cleared his throat.

"We need to . . . should s-stop."

The frown on Karai's face was quickly replaced by a wry smile.

"Relax, Leo," she purred. He trembled a little when she said his name. "We're just having a little fun. Don't you like it?" she teased.

Her hands moved out of his grasp to his bunched thighs. She rubbed them, her thumbs trailed along inside them while she stared into his wide eyes. She stopped and squeezed hard where they met his body, his body jerked forward and he whimpered. She smashed the front of her body against him, kissing his neck. His eyes slammed shut and his breath caught. His body went rigid as he felt her curves against him. Control was slipping through his clenching fingers. The image of throwing her to the ground with him on top of her flashed through his passion-heated mind.

 _It's what she wants. She wants me to. She wants me, she wants me,_  his mind repeated;  _insisted_. He knew it was a lie. At least, he'd never know for sure if it happened tonight. That wasn't what he wanted this to be.

He pulled away, pushed her off him, gasping for air, scrambling backwards out of her reach. He stood on wobbling legs, stepped away from her like he was afraid to be anywhere near her. His hands went to the sides of his face; fingers rubbing his temples. The truth was he couldn't trust himself to be close to her at that moment.

"What's the matter with you, Leo?" she asked, her words trembled with desire, rang with anger.

"N-No," his voice came out in a strained whisper. He dropped his hands to his sides in helpless frustration. "Not like this. Not when you-you're…" he trailed off miserably.

What was he  _saying_?  _This might be the only chance I get in my lifetime to be intimate with anyone._  And he was passing it up, why? Out of some stupid code of honor? He swallowed as his heart hammered with fear and frustration. He closed his eyes; mind made up.

Her mouth pressed into an angry line. She folded her arms. He was rejecting her. What sort of joke was this?

"I knew you were noble, Leo, I didn't realize you were celibate," she snapped.

She stood and grabbed her soaked garments, pulling them on one at a time, all the while huffing and glaring at Leonardo who stood watching her looking more and more pale and desperate. His eyes wide with sorrow and longing. His expression only increased her rage.

"Well, you blew your chance." She held up her finger. "Your  _one_  chance."

She shook her head with disgust as he continued to stand there looking lost and shaken. Her fury rose.

"Good luck finding someone else who'd  _pity-fuck_  you," she said viciously, cutting him deeply as she stormed out into the rain.

His hand went to his breaking heart and he fell to his knees. It hurt so much. He felt like he was dying as his chest squeezed painfully. He concentrated on trying to remember how to breathe as his forehead dropped down against the cool moist boards. Tears forced their way through his clenched eyes.

* * *

As she marched out back into the rain her footsteps faltered and stopped. She gasped. On the ground not far from the church, maybe three yards, one of her father's elite guard lay face down in a puddle of rain and black blood. Near him, one of Leonardo's brothers crouched on his hands and knees. It was red. The wild one. She swallowed.

He raised his head as she stood frozen staring in horror at the scene. The implications sinking in to her mind, sobering her fully. That guard. Her father must have sent him. She turned to look at the church where she left Leonardo and back to his brother who was struggling to his feet. Yes, her father had sent this soldier to spy on her. If he'd completed his mission…her stomach sank to her feet . . . she'd be the one lying face down in a puddle of blood.

"Nice try,  _bitch_ ," he spat at her, his voice rough and ragged from exhaustion and exertion. "Bet you didn' know Leo had a guardian angel watchin' over him, huh?"

His fingers fumbled at his side, trying to stem the blood flow from a wound in his side. He stumbled towards the church. Karai backed up, away from the dangerous mutant who just took out an elite soldier on his own. She'd be wise to get away from here immediately. She narrowed her eyes.

"You  _imbecile_. You did me a favor and didn't even realize it."

Her words were strong but her heart pounded in her chest as she turned and ran away. Ran as fast as she could from her confused feelings about the one in the church and the fright of the one who saved her ass without even realizing it. Tears burned her eyes, a sob broke from her chest, but why she was crying, she had no idea.

But for some reason, she felt like she'd been saved twice this night.

* * *

The crashing sound of someone stumbling into the church brought Leonardo to his feet. He sniffled and wiped the tears from his cheeks roughly with his forearms.

"Karai! I-I'm  _sorry_ …" he stopped speaking and gasped when he saw it was Raphael and not Karai coming inside.  _"Raph!"_  Leonardo lurched over the burnt and broken pews to catch Raphael just as he pitched forward. "I thought you went home! W-What happened?"

"Y-You . . .  _asshole_ ," Raphael spat the words out between gasps and passed out in Leonardo's arms.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I so so SO appreciate all the reviews and encouragement. What did you think? Leonardo is too noble for his own good, perhaps.


	7. Falling to Pieces

" _ **Moth**_ _: 'I gave you my life.'_

_**Flame** _ _: 'I allowed you to kiss me.'" –Hazrat Inayat Khan_

* * *

__

* * *

Without even trying to stay hidden, Karai walked right through the front doors of the skyscraper that served as home and base for some of the more legitimate operations of the Foot Clan. Boots squeaking on the marble tiles, Karai marched past the curved reception desk with a glare at the blonde behind it, who quickly looked away and made to shuffle a stack of paper. The ornate clock above the desk told her it was twenty after three in the morning. She punched the elevator button and once inside held her shaking arms hard against her sides. Her head spun and the elevator motion made her feel dizzy and nauseous. Really not wanting to puke in the confined space of the elevator, Karai focused on breathing slowing in through her nose and out through her mouth.

Staring at the buttons lighting up on the panel, her mind mulled over what she saw. So, her father knew she snuck out. That he was suspicious of her was no surprise. That he was so interested in what she'd been up to was unsettling. What would he do to her if he found out about her near-obsession with Leonardo? The image of the elite guard's body swam in her mind. The black pool of blood; the look in the red one's eyes. He thought she set a trap for Leonardo. Now that's something her father would be overjoyed to learn.  _It would be so easy._  She shivered and pushed the thought away. Her head throbbed. She rested it against the wall; closed her eyes.  _No more thinking_.

The elevator dinged and Karai stepped out into the hallway where her quarters lay. She glanced down the carpeted hallway that formed an 'L' shape. The leg ended with her father's personal suite. Her room was at the other end of the long part of the hallway. Stillness; no sign of anyone. She walked unsteadily to her door, one hand trailed along the wall for support; pressed the code into the lock box and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

She needed a shower; needed to get out of the wet clothes. She kicked off her boots. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and started. She could still  _taste_  him on her lips. Beneath the metal flavor of the city rain, there it was. That soft, strangely spring-like taste. It made her think of budding flowers and the baby-tender blades of grass emerging out of the damp soil. The tips of her fingers brushed her bottom lip and she moved to her bed. She pulled off her wet clothes and burrowed beneath the blankets for warmth, feeling the ghost of his mouth lingering on her lips.

A smirk danced across her mouth as she recalled the soft whimper he made and how his arms started to trembled while she explored him. His body was strange and unlike anything she'd ever known. Soft and hard in places. A thrill went through her and though a warmth spread through her middle, she shivered; wrapped the blankets tighter around her body in a cocoon. She thought of his eyes and how intense they were tonight. He wanted her. She frowned. Why'd he have to be so damn . . .  _good_?

Her mind wandered and she thought about his body and curiosity sparked as she wondered how it worked when it came to  _that_ ; then considered if he hadn't made her stop, would she have  _really_  gone any further with him? A confused mix of conflicting emotions swept through her. She closed her eyes; feeling her body grow heavy, sinking into the soft embrace of her mattress. Unbidden, the feeling of his arms wrapped around her, gentle and protective yet trembling with desire, came over her. She smiled as she drifted between a dream and a memory from another time.

* * *

When Raphael came to, he found himself propped up against a blackened wall inside the ruined church. He gazed around and felt a sharp pain in his side which radiated upwards to his collarbone and chest. He grabbed at the source of the pain and found a thick bandage under his right arm. He sucked in his breath as the movement sent a separate bolt of pain through his left shoulder.  _Damn, I'm torn up_. Then he remembered the fight with the soldier and his face snapped up.

Leonardo silently emerged from the shadows with a water bottle. With his right hand, Raphael snatched it away from him; glared at him as he drank it until nearly empty. He dropped his hand with the bottle into his lap as Leonardo crouched next to him; a wary and nervous expression on his face, elbows resting on his knees, he dropped his head down and stared forward at the floor in front of him.  _At least he looks a little guilty_ , Raphael thought. Which isn't exactly new for his older brother.

"What the fuck, bro," Raph said softly.

He wanted an explanation. He wanted an apology. Most of all he wanted to beat some sense back into his brother's skull.

Leonardo ran a hand over his face and sighed deeply. He looked sideways at his brother. This night was one the worst nights of his life. His heart pounded; his stomach churned and his head felt like someone was trying to squeeze it like a toothpaste tube. The last words Karai spat at him ran in an endless loop in his mind. Each repetition cutting him a bit more, a bit deeper. He just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and forget that he'd ever gone out in the first place. But now that Raphael had gotten himself involved…he huffed out a frustrated breath…that complicated matters. Just what he needed:  _more_  complications. He couldn't help but feel his hurt and anger from Karai's cruel words funnel out towards his brother.

"Raph, why didn't you just go home, like I told you to? What were you doing following me?"

Raphael shook his head at the accusing tone Leonardo's voice took on.  _Is he kiddin' me? I take a beatin' for him and he's gonna yell at me?_  A grim smile spread across his face which didn't meet his dark eyes.

"Let's see, what  _was_  I doin'." Raphael stared at Leonardo who shifted uncomfortably under the glare, but held his eyes firmly locked on his, "Well, I know I wasn't screwin' around with one of Shredder's bitches."

" _Don't,"_  Leonardo's voice held a warning, his eyes darkening. He was not in the mood for one of Raphael's hissy fits.

Raphael turned his face away and huffed out a short, bitter chuckle.

"What was I doin'? How about, I dunno, maybe  _savin' your ass_!"

He sat forward and lobbed the water bottle at Leonardo's head. He grimaced as a streak of pain shot through his chest, but it was worth it. The empty bottle struck Leonardo's arm as he brought it up to shield his head and it bounced to the floor. Raphael climbed to his feet, Leonardo watched him and slowly came to stand.

"While you were in here…" he gestured sloppily at the walls, then held his aching shoulder, "…doin', I don't even  _want to know_ , with Karai, I was outside fightin' off an ambush meant for your sorry ass!"

Leonardo ran a hand over the back of his neck. He knew. Too late, but he knew. He saw the body. After Raphael had passed out, he'd run to do a perimeter check and with a sinking stomach saw what remained of the soldier. He'd dragged the body to the back of the church where a scruff of overgrown grass and bushes intermingled with piles of garbage, empty crates and rusting cars. Beyond that were mostly abandoned apartment buildings. He dumped the body there and sprinted back inside to tend to his brother's wounds.

Leonardo stared at his brother, he didn't know what to say. He wanted to thank him; should have said it right away, but between his shame at being caught with Karai and the humiliation that he was clueless to the fact that not only his brother but an elite Foot soldier was stalking him, the words caught in his throat. Raphael shook his head in disgust at his silence. He should have known he was being followed. Should have been much more careful. How could he have been so careless? He clenched his jaw. Frustration tore at his stomach making his pounding head only hurt more.

If he hadn't been so distracted…Karai being drunk and acting so weird; the rain and then when she put her head on his chest, asked him to take her somewhere safe . . . he let out a trembling breath. He couldn't believe that this was some kind of planned ambush. His mind raced back over the events of the night. No, he was convinced that Karai had nothing to do with the soldier being there. Doubt nagged at his confidence.

 _Then who sent him?_  Maybe he was just a scout, a voice reasoned in his head.  _He was an elite._  Leonardo held his face in his hand; pushed his fingers and thumb hard into his brow. The headache was quickly turning into a migraine. The muscles behind his eyes throbbed without mercy.

Raphael had enough of this silent treatment.

"What were you thinkin' bringin' her  _here_?" Raphael's voice was low and growling. The anger and fatigue were mixing together forming a dangerous cocktail within him.

Leonardo dropped his hand to his side and stared at him, then eyed the floor and muttered, "It doesn't matter."

Raphael blinked hard and frowned.

"It doesn't matter?" he echoed. "Uh, yes, Leo, it does fuckin' matter." He stepped closer to Leonardo, getting into his face. "This is supposed to be for us, remember? You pounded it into our skulls enough times. To keep it secret." His voice hissed out the last word.

He took half a step back, considered his brother and said, "Huh, I guess I didn't realize you wanted this place secret so bad so you could bring your little-"

" _Enough,"_  Leonardo said with a growl, cutting him off. Leonardo narrowed his eyes; his body rigid. He felt his heart hammering; the blood rushing to his face.

Raphael ignored him and continued, "ninja  _slut_  here to fu-"

Before Raphael could finish Leonardo shoved him hard. He stumbled backwards. His heels painfully banging against the wall as his shell slammed into it. The force sent a wave of sharp pain across his chest; his left shoulder burned like it was on fire. He bit back a yelp of pain, grinding his teeth together to keep still. His head spun for a moment. He blinked; stunned for a heartbeat, two; his fury rose as did his disbelief.

"You gonna  _shove_  me?"

Raphael's voice rose with indignation and hurt. Some thanks he got for getting skewered. Leonardo heard the hurt in his brother's voice and instantly felt guilty for losing his temper. He didn't think, he just reacted when Raphael called Karai such an ugly name. He reached out to Raphael in a placating gesture.

"Look, It . . . it's been a long night," he started.

"Yeah, I'm sure it has been," Raphael replied, a hollow laugh in his throat.

Leonardo ignored him, determined to make it right, but feeling his anger rising again in his chest.

"I didn't mean to . . . overreact," he said feebly. He looked up, blue eyes met green. The words fell from his mouth before he could think, before he could adjust the tone, "Just don't talk that way about her again."

" _What?!"_

With a growl Raphael lunged at Leonardo. Raphael's right forearm slammed into the side of his face. His left fist came around fast and struck Leonardo in the jaw, knocking him back over a pile of broken and charred pews. His shell smashing the boards into splinters as he crashed. Leonardo blinked away the stars exploding in front of his vision and looked up at his brother looming over him, swaying and holding his side awkwardly. He wiped his lip; tasted blood; the cut from Karai split deeper and wider now. He felt his lip swelling and throbbing.

"What is  _wrong_  with you, Leo?" Raphael swayed on his feet, but righted himself. His voice came out thick with emotion. "She worth all this?"

He indicated his wounds with hands that trembled with fury and emotion, the red seeping through the thick bandage; shaking his head in disgust, his mouth in a thin line. How could this be happening? Leonardo was choosing some chick over his own family; something Raphael would've never dreamt of even being possible. He seemed to want to say more; his jaw clenched, unclenched; but instead waved a hand at Leonardo in a dismissive gesture.

Leonardo could only stare miserably up at Raphael. Shame crept over his heart. He closed his eyes with a breath. He rolled to one side and climbed to stand. His arms hung limply at his sides.

"Tell ya what," Raphael's voice sounded strained, "next time you need to get a piece of ass, you can watch your own back."

Raphael turned his shell on Leonardo without a backwards glance and stumbled out of the church. Leonardo followed slowly behind; head held low; mouth throbbing; each step heavier than the last.

Yeah, this was the worst night of his life, he decided.

* * *

The dream came vividly and without mercy. Every detail in graphic color, bright and unrelenting.

She watched him in the dojo. Taller than most of the boys at the academy, his blond hair stood out in a sea of dark. He was graceful and quick with long arms and legs, thin and wiry, but in a good way. A master at sixteen of four different weapons. The ninja-ken and katanas being his favorite. Though most girls fawned over him, Karai kept her distance. Yearning for him more truly and desperately than all the others combined; her secret passion and devotion burnt a hole through her.

Then one day, it happened. He sat across from her at dinner. She could only stare stupidly at him. Didn't he know who she was? Who her father was? Of course he did. Everyone did. That's why they cleared a wide path around her in the halls, no one ever volunteered to be her sparring partner in the dojo, no one said more than two words to her, and no one ever, ever sat with her in the dining hall.

Karai moaned and turned in her bed. The dream continued.

He fanned her obsession and longing with his intensely blue eyes seeming to only be for her. His jokes and easy smiles disarming her at every turn; breaking down her precious walls of protection. They talked, they laughed, and Karai dared to hope that she had finally, finally, found someone who wasn't afraid of her father and would actually be her friend. And maybe more.

Marcus Brokker, exchange student from Germany was all Karai could think about. Day after day, night after night, she penciled his name inside a heart only to crush the paper and throw it away in guilty embarrassment for being such a _girl_ about her feelings. But she couldn't help it.

Then they started meeting secretly after lights out. And finally, on the night of her sixteenth birthday, she gave herself a present and consented everything she had to him. And he took it. Greedily he took all she gave.

Karai frowned in her sleep as the memory of his rough groping flooded her dream.

When he was finished he left her shaken and tearful on the dusty floor. Her fury and humiliation grew as he snubbed her the next day. And the next. And on it went. Her fingers twitched as she dreamt of the rectangular shape of the box cutter; the way the door to the boy's dormitory creaked when she slid inside. How soft his blond hair felt between her fingers as she gathered the locks in her fist. The box cutter bit into his flesh and his scream in her dream made her sleeping form tremble. She was tackled to the floor; sent to her father for further humiliation and punishment. Marcus disappeared from the academy. Rumors spread about Karai's father and her peers kept their distance even more than before.

In her sleep, tears trickled down her face, wetting the pillow beneath her head. Karai's fingers twisted the blankets until her fists held them tight. Her dream went back to the night she'd given up everything she had to Marcus, but the setting changed and instead of the red light of the boiler room, she was surrounded by the soft glow of candles.

The air shifted like a sigh and someone was there. Her heart tripped over itself as he leaned down and brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. Blue eyes gazed down at her and they were filled with such tender affection it made her heart stop. Angels watched her from the ceiling, but she felt no judgment nor fear; she felt safe; she felt protected; she felt his devotion and adoration. She reached up to him, pulled him towards her by his strong shoulders. He wrapped his arms gently around her, his mouth kissing her jaw and side of her neck. Strange and wonderful; gentle, ever gentle; as though she were the most precious and delicate of all things in this world and he would never let her break; he would die to keep her whole.

In her bed, in the heart of the New York Foot Clan headquarters, Karai's lips formed a forbidden word; his name flowed out with her trembling breath.

" _Leo."_

* * *


	8. Complicated

**Chapter 8 - Complicated**

* * *

Raphael paused outside the entrance to the lair, catching his breath; still fuming at Leonardo's treatment of him. If he wasn't in so much pain he'd be smashing some sense into him with his fist. Leonardo was standing right behind him. Stupidly, Raphael was still waiting for some kind of apology or at least some lame explanation for all the deception. The air was filled with the oppressive feeling of too many words unspoken. He moved to go inside and Leonardo's breath caught.

"Raph, wait," Leonardo said as Raphael looked over his shoulder at him. "We need to talk."

Raphael let out a soft snort. He was feeling light-headed from his wounds and they were aching something fierce from his long walk home. With a sigh, he faced Leonardo, he'd have crossed his arms, but it was easier to just let them hang at his sides.

With his head down, but eyes trained on Raphael's face, Leo asked, "What are you going to say?" He inclined his head towards their home. "To them, about tonight?"

Raphael shook his head; cracked a half-smile. This was rich. He should make him sweat, he deserved it. But the fearful expression crossing Leonardo's face was unsettling. Raphael could read panic in his brother's eyes, it was such an unusual sight that it was making Raphael feel jumpy and he had nothing to hide. He rolled his eyes.

"I ain't gonna rat you out, Leo," he said. Leonardo visibly relaxed; released a breath.

"If –"

Leonardo's eyes shot to Raphael's.

"If you promise that you'll put an end to this bullshit."

Leonardo frowned in confusion. "What…" Then it dawned on him. Stop pursuing Karai. That's the condition Raphael demanded. He shook his head. It wasn't going to happen.

"Then tough."

With that Raphael pushed through the entrance to the lair. Leonardo rushed in behind him, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper.

"You can't ask me to do that, Raph. Things are . . .  _complicated_." When he got no response he added, "You wouldn't understand."

He put his hand on Raphael's shoulder to make him stop and listen. With a grunt Raphael yanked free. He spun around; hands in fists.

"What's there to understand? She's with the Foot Clan. The  _Foot_   _Clan_. They sent an elite to kill you tonight, dumbass. If I wasn't there…"

His voice rose and he grimaced, grabbing at his side. His hand came away moist with blood. He looked at it then raised his eyes to his brother. They were full of accusations and hurt.

Leonardo ducked his head. He felt sick. This was not what he'd planned when he left earlier that night. He never intended for one of his brothers to get involved like this. To get hurt because of this…situation he found himself in with Karai. Guilt gnawed at his churning stomach. The migraine made it hard for him to focus.

"You know what, you're right, I don't understand," Raphael said coldly. He flicked his hand and drops of blood spattered against the floor, some of which hit Leonardo's foot.

"What exactly is it you need to understand, Raphael?"

Leonardo froze. Raphael stiffened, the only movement his body made was the widening of his eyes as he stared at Leonardo who looked absolutely terrified. Slowly, he turned to find Master Splinter standing calmly behind him. He stood leaning with two claws on the top of his cane. His amber eyes flicked from him to Leonardo and back again, his whiskers twitching as he did.

 _Oh God, what did he hear?_ It was all Leonardo could do to maintain control and not start shaking. His palms grew sweaty and his pulse raced.

"You are injured. How did this come about?"

"I-I, uh, I…" Raphael sputtered.

"H-He . . . um…" Leonardo's voice came softly behind him.

He shot a worried glance in Leonardo's direction and gave him a short shake of his head effectively shutting him up. No good, they were caught, and Leo sucked at lying. The terror was still evident on his brother's face as he closed his mouth with an audible snap. Raphael couldn't stand it. At that moment he hated Karai more than anything else in the world. Maybe even more than the Shredder. He swore he was going to end this...whatever it was…this hold she had on him. Whatever she was doing to his brother it was going to end. With a rough swallow he jumped in, rescuing his brother for a second time that night.

 _I'm a regular hero tonight,_  he though sourly.

"You know me, Master, always findin' ways to get into trouble," he said with a painful shrug, trying his best to come across nonchalant.

"Good thing,  _Leo_  followed me out," he shot a glare at Leonardo who blinked in shock,  _pull it together asshole, or he'll never buy it_ , "otherwise I mighta' not made it home in one piece."

Splinter took in Raphael's words, never moving his eyes from his eldest.

"I see."

Master Splinter tapped the top of his cane. His claws clicked in the silence. He considered Raphael's story. He stood still and quiet for so long that they both started to shift their feet and fidget. They exchanged questioning glances and Raphael rubbed the back of his head, nervously. He regretting the motion instantly when his shoulder screamed in pain from the movement. His body cringed and he gritted his teeth.

"Uh, I'm . . . ah, gonna see if Donnie's awake. Get patched up."

Splinter nodded as Raphael walked past him, shooting one last glance at Leonardo.

_Did what I could, chief._

The expression on Raphael's face was a mix of pity and disgust. It fit perfectly with how Leonardo was feeling about himself at the moment. He couldn't believe that Raphael lied to cover for him. That after taking on an elite, sustaining injuries and then arguing with him in the church, he still had his back. He owed Raphael, big time.

Leonardo didn't think the night could have gotten worse, but it had. He never felt so ashamed of himself than he did at that moment. He closed his eyes slowly and felt Splinter watching him. If only the ground beneath his feet would swallow him up. The silence stretched on to a point of ridiculousness. Leonardo cleared his throat and slowly made to move towards his room. When Splinter spoke again his voice seemed unnaturally loud in the room.

"So, Raphael snuck out last night and I am to understand that  _that_  is how he became injured?"

Leonardo froze in his tracks. His mind scattered. He didn't want to lie but had no idea how to get out of the mess he found himself in. His stomach sank, his heart sped up.

"H-Hai, Sensei." Leonardo answered simply.

"You do not seem to be upset with your brother for breaking the rules as you usually are."

Leonardo stared at the floor with burning eyes. He couldn't bring himself to look Splinter in the face. Guilt and shame made his stomach flip.

"It's been a long night," he said quietly. At least that wasn't a lie.

"Hm."

Leonardo cleared his throat again. More than anything he wanted to run to the safety and privacy of his room right then. He shifted his feet, scratched his sore jaw with the back of a finger.

"I am confused, my son."

Leonardo blinked.

"Raphael said he didn't understand something. I, too, am confused."

"M-Master?"

"Raphael has sustained injuries," he glanced at the spattering of blood on the floor, Leonardo's gaze followed his and internally he cringed. "And yet, you arrive at our home unharmed once again."

"J-Just lucky, I guess," he said miserably. His tongue gently touched where the skin was split.  _How much did he hear?_

"Hm," he repeated, then, "I suppose I must punish Raphael."

Leonardo started.

"No!" he blurted. Splinter raised an eyebrow. "He…don't you think he…I mean…his injuries, shouldn't that be punishment enough?" Leonardo said quickly.

Splinter's amber eyes bore into Leonardo's blue. He faltered and dropped his gaze, felt his cheeks start to burn. He knew Splinter could see right through him. But he had to try to keep the deception going if only to keep Raphael out of trouble. The lies were piling up and Leonardo felt the weight of each one weighing his shell down.

"I will consider what needs to be done. Go to bed, Leonardo." The last part came at him in a harsh tone.

"Hai, Sensei," he replied, though he knew it wasn't quite over, relief made his shoulders drop.

He scurried into his room and leaned against the door as it clicked quietly closed behind his shell. He let out a shaking breath, then moved forward and collapsed onto his mattress. His eyes burned as he nuzzled into the mess of blankets, pulling them into a sloppy embrace around his face with his fists. His temples throbbed and his body ached from the stress of the night.  _What a mess things have become._

He tried to calm his breathing; chest squeezing painfully just as it did earlier when Karai said…he couldn't think about it. But the memory of her words slammed into him like a physical blow despite his efforts to wipe them from his thoughts. He knew she was drunk, he knew she only said the vile thing because she wanted to hurt him. Too bad for him, because it did the trick. His jaw clenched, as he fought the tide of emotions sweeping through him.

Why did he even think he had a chance with her? He shut his eyes tightly.  _What a fool I am._  He turned his head and stared at the wall with eyes bright with unshed tears. She was only toying with him. He knew that, and yet, he couldn't stop thinking of her. Couldn't stop seeing her face, her eyes, her body, in his mind and in his dreams. She was driving him insane. That's what this was. Insanity.

His thoughts drifted past the confusion and hurt and settled on a more comforting memory: her soft lips pressing on his mouth, her warm hands trailing down the front of him, the intoxicating heat he felt coming off of her in waves. He groaned and rolled over onto his shell and stared at the cracks in the ceiling; trying to clear his mind and steady his rapid heartbeat. All the while feeling like the cracks within him were splitting open from the weight of all the deception.

* * *

Morning found Karai taking breakfast in the lower levels where most of the Foot soldiers ate in easy camaraderie. As usual, she received curt nods and clipped greetings and a wide berth from everyone as she made her way alone to the back of the room near a window that overlooked a courtyard. If anyone noticed her blackened eye and bruised cheek, it didn't show. Everyone here knew the Shredder was her father and that being his daughter meant withstanding his harsh brand of discipline.

She set her tray down and glanced out the tall window. The courtyard had a well-maintained Japanese garden. A large cherry tree was the center piece. She missed the blossoms. Now that summer was in full swing it would be a year before she got to enjoy the lovely flowers. She sighed. If she was still here in New York next year. The weight of her father's threat hung heavy on her this morning; that and her head pounded with a hangover.

Her mind wandered as she continued to stare out the window into the twining branches of the tree. The fingers of her right hand played with the tattered edges of the cast on her left wrist. The events of the night before were a blurred mix of images. She knew it involved Leonardo and that church. She frowned as more memories came into focus. Hm.  _I kissed him_. She remembered the soft whimpering sound he made and a smile spread across her face.  _That was…fun._  The rest was blurred, something made her really angry and then she found the red one outside the church and he…she suppressed a shiver. Oh yes. The dead guard. One less stalker from her father that she'd have to worry about. Then she came home and went to bed.

She knew she'd dreamt the night before. She didn't remember anything from the dreams too clearly, though she knew they were upsetting in nature. The most unsettling thing was the last one she had right before she woke.  _That_  dream she remembered in vivid detail. It left her feeling unsteady and more jumpy than normal. It had to have been from the alcohol. Some poisoned state of hysterical dreaming. Though she wouldn't call it a nightmare. More like…a steamy scene out of a trashy romance novel. The dream featuring Leonardo was quite erotic and she hated to admit it even to herself, but it was sort of romantic in a weird way.

She bit into a piece of toast, her mind replaying a part of the dream that made the middle of her body bloom with heat, when a shadow fell over her. Her eyes traveled up the imposing figure of her father. She nearly choked on her toast.

"Good morning, Father," she said stiffly as she put the toast back onto her plate. She swallowed the piece in her mouth and it felt like a foreign object sliding down her throat as she did. She suddenly had no appetite.

Saki sat in the chair opposite from her; crossed his arms over his chest; the muscles stretching the dark fabric of his suit. Her eyes widened and she fought back the panic rising in her chest.  _Don't be stupid girl, you haven't done anything wrong._ But then she reminded herself: sneaking out last night, the stolen bottle of sake, the soldier in the puddle of his own blood, the taste of Leonardo's mouth on her lips.  _No! Don't think about that now, idiot!_ She pushed the last image away and down, deep into the recesses of her mind as her cheeks colored. She glanced up at her father then quickly down, placing her hand like a shield over her brows.

"Headache," she said and chuckled hollowly; cursing silently.

"Not sleeping well, daughter?"

Karai cleared her throat. Feeling her face go back to its normal color she risked meeting his eyes.

"What mischief did you find yourself in last night?" His voice was level and calm. He watched her carefully.

She licked her lips which had suddenly gone very dry.  _Wouldn't you like to know._  She raised her chin defiantly, stared into his face.

"What makes you think I was up to mischief, Father dear?" She felt her bravado rising just as her heart raced. He knew nothing. The elite died with her secret on his lips. "And what gives you the notion that I would confess my mischief to you?"

She knew it was risky, but she plastered a charming smile across her face. To her amazement, he inclined his head and returned her smile, then got up to leave.

"I will be traveling over the next week or so, Karai." He took her chin by his thumb and finger and turned her head up to him. "Behave, daughter."

She blinked and continued smiling. Her expression was that of the perfect obedient daughter. This time her smile was genuine. A week or so! A week without him breathing down her back! She suppressed a shiver of excitement. She knew exactly what kind of mischief she was going to get into while he was gone. A certain blue-masked turtle was going to have his hands full!

"Have a safe trip and return to us soon, Father," she said sweetly.

He turned and walked out of the cafeteria, soldiers bowing to him on all sides as he went. After not hearing back from his scout, he'd assigned another in his place to shadow his daughter's every move while he was gone. What happened to his elite soldier was a mystery for now. Between the Purple Dragons and the turtles, he may have fallen victim to one or the other, though not likely. No action was to be taken, no matter what she did. He only wanted information. When he arrived back in New York he'd decide what action, if any he'd need to take.

* * *

He must have drifted off for the next thing he knew someone was tapping on his forehead. He grumbled and smacked at the finger.

"Uh, Leo, you gotta get up, bro."

Leonardo's eye cracked open and the blurry vision of Michelangelo swam and came into focus in front of him. He groaned; feeling like he'd been beaten with a bat. For half a second he thought the events of the previous night had been a terrible nightmare. Unfortunately, his head cleared and grim reality settled on him. He peeked over at the alarm clock and brought his elbow over his eyes. No wonder he felt like crap, he'd fallen asleep and had gotten exactly forty three minutes of rest.

"Leo. Splinter wants you in the dojo."

Something in the tone of voice Michelangelo used brought his attention back. He peered at him from under his arm; he threw his arm to his side; sat up and rubbed his face roughly.

"Right, I'm comin'," he mumbled and stood. Michelangelo rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit too worried for Leonardo's comfort. A nervous feeling shot through his stomach as he took in his brother's expression.

"Something you want to share before I go, Mikey?"

"Uh, Splinter's  _pissed_. I think you're in trouble."

Leonardo dropped his head and sighed; his eyes raised up, meeting Michelangelo's big blues and said, "Tell me something I don't know."

As he made his way to the dojo he was accosted from the side by Donatello who was talking so fast and low, he barely understood what he was saying. He stopped and put a hand on Donatello's arm.

"Hold on. Start over."

Raphael was sitting on the couch staring at nothing. The television was off. Leonardo shifted and brought his attention back to his brother in front of him.

"I didn't know why he wanted the video, Leo, I swear. I-I would've never…I mean…I could've erased it, but I thought he just wanted to see something…I swear, I had no idea you'd be on it."

He had no idea what Donatello was talking about. But he was clearly upset. The cold nervous feeling he had in his gut churned. Raphael still didn't look at them.

"Besides, after yesterday, why the hell would you risk going out  _again_? If it were me I would've at least given it some time. Leo, really it just wasn't very smart on your part."

 _Ah_.  Now he understood. The video surveillance tape. Donatello had installed a few cameras as part of his security system for the lair. He patted his brother on the arm, saying without words that it was alright, no problem.

Leonardo swallowed and his eyes went to the door of the dojo. Time to stop the lies, then. With ice in his veins he squared his shoulders and moved away from Donatello and stepped to the door of the dojo. Michelangelo and Donatello followed behind him. Michelangelo so close to Donatello that he nearly bumped into him as Leonardo hesitated for a second before going in. After a minute, Raphael got up off the couch and followed as well.


	9. Insanity

 

When he entered the dojo, at first he didn't see Splinter. His eyes darted around the room.

"Sensei?" he called tentatively.

"Here, Leonardo."

Leonardo turned to his right where Splinter stood with his back to him. He glanced over his shoulder at his son then turned back to the wall. With one hand he traced the intricately carved sheath holding a katana mounted on the wall. It sat among a few of their more precious weapons that Splinter had brought with him when he had come to America, while he was still human. With a sigh, he gripped the sheath tightly; dropped his hand down; clasped his claws together behind his back. Leonardo moved quietly to kneel before him. He dropped his palms to the mat and laid his forehead down in total supplication.

"I can explain everything, Sensei."

"And will your explanation hold truth or more lies, I wonder."

Leonardo cringed at the sadness in his Master's voice. He was expecting anger, but not this. Dread sat thick in his stomach. This mess was his in the making and he had to make it right. Somehow he had to find the words to explain.

"Only truth, Sensei. I swear to you, no more . . . lies." The last word stuck in his throat, making it convulse as he said it. Splinter huffed through his nose and that simple small sound made Leonardo flinch with shame.

As quietly as possible, Leonardo's brothers entered the dojo, piling in one after the other. They lined up against one wall a few feet away. Michelangelo put his finger to his lips and sat crossed legged. He waved Donatello over and he quickly scrambled next to him and sat.

Raphael, never taking his eyes off Leonardo and Master Splinter's back, stepped in slowly crossing in front of his younger siblings. He stood to one side, arms folded across his chest. His shoulder had been stitched and bandaged, as well as the deep puncture under his right arm. Donatello told him how lucky he was that the blade had traveled upwards instead of horizontally through him. It mostly cut through muscle and tissue. Feeling achy and stiff, Raphael felt anything but lucky. He felt sick and angry at Leonardo. He couldn't believe his brother's behavior this past week. He wanted Splinter to straighten his ass out and for things to get back to normal.

Splinter turned glanced at Leonardo's prostrate form then glanced at his brothers. He frowned, thinking to dismiss them, but then again, they needed to see this and hopefully learn something after all. Leonardo peered up at Splinter then raised up to sit on his heels.

"So tell me, then, Leonardo. Why is it that you continue to disobey me? Why have you found it so necessary to attempt to deceive me?"

Leonardo ran the tip of his dry tongue over his still swollen bottom lip. What should he say? How could he put this into words that made sense when he hardly understood what was happening himself?

"I . . . Th-There's someone," he began shakily.

Splinter's whiskers twitched. He stood motionless in front of his son waiting for him to elaborate.

"Someone that I've been . . . pursuing, in a way." Leonardo stared at the creases in the mat at Master Splinter's feet as he struggled to make sense.

"I do not understand. What need is there for secrecy, then? Is this some enemy you are following?"

Raphael paced impatiently. Leonardo was taking his time and beating around the bush. He felt like he was going to burst. This was ridiculous. The sooner he confessed the sooner all this would end. Why drag things out?

"For cryin' out loud, Leo, just tell him."

Leonardo cringed and balled his hands into fists on top of his thighs. Splinter kept his gaze firmly on him.

"I've been seeing a girl," the words rolled out from his mouth, quiet but steady.

Disbelief spread across Splinter's features. His shoulders slumped in shock. Whatever his son had been up to, he was not expecting this revelation.

"What is this? A girl? A human girl? Leonardo, must I remind you of how dangerous . . . how  _very_  dangerous that is? Not only for you but for your brothers as well." Only now Splinter's attention shifted to Raphael. His amber eyes flashed. "And you knew this, Raphael?"

Raphael ducked his head; put up his hands defensively, suddenly sorry he said anything.

"Uh, I just found out last night, Master. I followed Leo and saw him with Karai-"

Leonardo flinched at the mention of her name.

 _"What?!_ " Splinter shouted. His blazing eyes came back to Leonardo. "The same Karai that belongs to the Foot Clan?"

Leonardo closed his eyes tightly and blew a shallow breath out of his mouth. He felt dizzy and tried to calm himself. His response came across as acknowledgment and Splinter reacted. With his eyes closed he never saw Splinter's hand as it came down, striking his open face squarely across his cheek. The impact made a loud crack sound. His head snapped back and to the left. He fell back onto the bottom of his shell, his left arm bracing him, his right hand shooting to his searing cheek. He blinked back the stars and stared open-mouthed up at Splinter with bright eyes.

Michelangelo cringed for his brother, his eyes bounced back and forth from Leonardo to Splinter. Donatello dropped his gaze down. Raphael stopped pacing and only watched. It had to come out. But damn, he felt like shit right now.

"First your lies and now I learn  _this_!"

"I-I didn't mean for . . . She-she . . . I never . . ." Leonardo sputtered and didn't even know what he was trying to tell Splinter.

"Enough! It is over, do you understand me? I forbid you to see her again, unless it is to dispatch her." Splinter brought his hand across his neck in a slicing gesture.

Leonardo blanched. Slowly he sat back up onto his heels.

"S-Sensei, no . . . I . . . you can't . . . ask me to…" his voice quieted to nearly a whisper, his eyes grew large and round. "I won't…"

The fire was in Splinter's eyes as he struck Leonardo again. This time, Leonardo fell to his side. He gasped and propped himself up on his elbow. The metal tang of blood filled his mouth. A thin stream of pink spittle flowed out from his bottom lip onto the mat.

"You  _will_  obey me. As my  _son_ , as the  _leader_  of our clan, you bear responsibility to defeat our enemies whenever you can.  _All_  of our enemies deserve  _death_! For they will surely show you the same in kind."

With shaking shoulders, Leonardo sat up again. He wiped his bottom lip with the back of his right hand. The fear he felt earlier was being replaced now with a seething anger. It boiled up in his chest as his heart pounded.

"She isn't like that," he said while narrowing his eyes.

Splinter drew in a deep breath. He seemed to grow in size, looming over Leonardo. But despite that, Leonardo did not flinch as he said what came next.

"And I will  _never_  harm her."

"Fool! The kunoichi's art is deception, boy! She has ensnared you in her web of deceit! You would lead your brother's to their deaths because of your weakness!"

"No!" This time Leonardo's voice came as a shout. The vision of her battered face, her tears raised in his mind; followed by her lips soft against his mouth. His heart galloped.

Splinter came at Leonardo but didn't strike him. Instead he reached behind Leonardo's head and roughly grabbed the knot at the back of his mask. His nails scratched his skin as he did. He yanked it hard and ripped it off his son's head. The force of it made Leonardo fall forward to his hands and knees. His breathing labored; he glared up at his father.

"You are no longer fit to lead your brothers," Splinter's voice was a growl. He clenched Leonardo's blue mask into his shaking fist then threw it to the floor.

Tears welled up suddenly before Leonardo's sight. He started shaking as he stared at the wrinkled blue fabric laying in front of him. The mask he was given and had worn with great and deep pride for as long as he could remember. He couldn't believe this. After everything he'd done for Splinter, for his brothers. After the long hours of working himself again and again towards exhausted perfection only for Splinter to be pleased with him; to be proud of him. Everything he sacrificed and given up so that his family was safe; the burden of guilt for every misstep; the weight of responsibility for every lapse in judgment his brother's made; his blood that he willingly spilled time and time again for them. And now, when he only wanted this  _one_  thing. The only thing that ever gave him the slightest hint of what happiness could feel like. He was being refused and punished for something he had no control over.

His voice came out choked and strained, not sounding like himself at all. Each word struggled to break free from his chest.

"I have lived only to serve you, Sensei. To protect this family. I have never…asked for anything…ever…in my life." He looked up at Splinter who stared coldly down at him.

"Please, Father. I . . . I . . . love her."

The animal sound that came from Splinter made even Raphael fall back. Michelangelo gripped Donatello's arm without thinking, an unconscious action from when they were smaller and Michelangelo would seek the physical presence of his brothers when he was frightened in the dark. Donatello placed a hand over Michelangelo's in a move to comfort his little brother, a response born out of the same history.

Splinter spun; grabbed the katana from the wall. He unsheathed it and with one hand, pulled another sword from the wall and threw it at Leonardo who caught it clumsily against his chest, nearly slicing his plastron and hands as he did. He looked up confused, frightened and miserable at his father, who had dropped his cane and held his sword with two hands in front of him in a fighting stance.

"Fool! You wish to defy me? You'd put your  _lust_  before your brother's safety?! Then defeat me and you may leave to pursue your folly. But I  _assure_  you, my son, you'll only find  _death_  inside Karai's embrace."

Breathing heavy, hands trembling, body shaking uncontrollably, Leonardo's eyes went from the sword in his sweating fists to Splinter.  _This isn't happening. This isn't happening!_  It had to be a nightmare. In the corner of his eye, he saw Raphael standing with both hands clutching the top of his head in shock and horror. Dimly, he thought he could hear Michelangelo and Donatello protesting and pleading. His stomach lurched and he fought back the nausea. The room swam before him, the floor tilted to one side.

Splinter roared at him, snapping him to attention.

"Stand and fight me!"

Splinter wasted no time and leapt forward, swinging the blade up over his shoulder and down in a wide arc. Leonardo gasped and brought up his blade at the last second. The force knocked him back a bit. Splinter bounced back and Leonardo jumped to stand on legs made of rubber. Again Splinter came at him, striking from the left and right and right in a chopping motion. The swords clashing and clanging together, ringing loudly throughout the dojo.

"Stop! Stop this!" Donatello ran towards them, only to have Raphael wrap his arms around him and pull him back with a grunt of pain. He struggled weakly in his older brother's arms. "This is  _insane_!"

"You wanna get sliced in half brainiac?"

Donatello looked desperately between Raphael and Michelangelo. "We have to stop them!"

Raphael leveled a look at Donatello. "Leo's brought this on himself. Splinter knows what he's doin'."

"B-But…" Donatello was at a loss. He turned and continued to watch helplessly as his father and brother continued clashing swords.

"I trust Sensei, Donnie," Raphael said quietly.

"That's not who I'm worried about," he said sadly.

Leonardo blinked the sweat out from his eyes. Without his mask to catch and absorb the drips, they trickled into his eyes, stinging them and making it hard to see. Disbelief was pushed from him as fury replaced it. He moved out of defensive position and began to press Splinter back. He was younger and stronger than his sensei. But he hadn't gotten any sleep last night and his heart was conflicted though angered. Splinter's breath was coming in ragged bursts, but still for every blow that Leonardo advanced, he was pushed back by the old rat's quick maneuvering.

He staggered backwards as he felt something bit into his left arm. He glanced down to see a red line in his flesh that quickly began to weep a stream of blood down his bicep. When did he manage to cut him? He wondered blearily. The distraction cost him as he was thrown backwards from a kick Splinter landed onto the middle of his chest. The wind knocked from him as he scrambled back to stand, clutching the sword tightly.

Splinter circled him and again his attack was furious and a blur of deadly steel. Another bite of pain and Leonardo caught his breath. Across both his fists, a red line appeared.

"You are young and foolish. Forget your obsession with the kunoichi whore. She is your enemy. Our enemy! Come to your senses!"

Leonardo blocked the jabs that Splinter launched at his throat and face as he spoke in panting gasps. With a growl, Leonardo launched himself at his sensei. With a combination of swings and kicks, he found an opening as Splinter blocked and brought his blade up, slicing through the fabric of Splinter's robe and cutting deep into his shoulder. He staggered back with a hiss. His hand clawed at the wound and with wide eyes, Leonardo saw the blood seeping between his fingers, thick and dark. Sensing his chance, he swiftly moved forward two steps, raising his sword to plunge it into Splinter, but came to a stuttering halt.

" _Leo! Don't!"_ Donatello and Michelangelo's terrified voices rang out cutting through his adrenaline-fueled daze.

 _What am I doing?_  His sword dropped to the floor.

" _Sensei_ ," he whispered.

Splinter took a step and spun. The roundhouse kick to Leonardo's head knocked him back, spinning him to fall hard onto his plastron, before he could move, Splinter kicked him over onto his shell. The point of the blade rested at his throat. His breath froze in his chest, his blood raced through his ears. Splinter pressed the tip and it bit into the fragile skin, a pearl of red formed where flesh met steel.

"Your enemy will show no mercy. And neither shall you when the time comes."

Splinter stepped back, regarding his son with cold disappointment. Leonardo slowly shook his head.  _He would never hurt her. Never_. He rolled to his side then scrambled to his feet and sprinted from the dojo.

"Leo!" Michelangelo tried to stop him by the exit. He pushed roughly past him, knocking Michelangelo down and back into Donatello. They stumbled with a grunt and yelp.

"Dammit, Leo, get back here!" Raphael moved to chase after him.

"Let him go," Splinter barked.

* * *

He ran. Hard and as fast as his feet and legs could go. Each step beat back the pain and kept the raging thoughts far behind him. If he could just keep running and if he was fast enough, maybe he could outrun the pain that chased him like a monstrous nightmare through the sewers. After a long time; after his legs first burned then turned numb, his feet slowed and sloshed through the water in the tunnels. Though in a haze of hysteria, survival instincts kicked in and kept him staying underground. He knew in the back of his mind, where he still had some sense of self-preservation, that it was day up above and he couldn't risk being seen.

He stopped, leaning his shell against the slimy bricks.  _Don't think, don't think._  The snarling face of his father rose up in his mind. Vertigo hit him and black spots appeared in front of his vision. His left arm was slick with blood, his hands burned from the gashes across his knuckles. Shaking from exertion and exhaustion, he slid down and hung his head between his knees. Suddenly, the edges of his vision turned dark; he couldn't breathe. He needed air. He felt suffocated as his lungs tried unsuccessfully to fill. He clambered up a ladder and poked his head out. The air hit him and instantly he felt better. He gulped at it like a fish. A bitter laugh choked free from his chest when he realized where he had gone.

* * *

The bag slapped merrily against the back of her legs as she bounced towards her goal. It was filled with smoke bombs, spray paint, blinding powder as well as a pair of hand cuffs and a few other items that Karai thought would come in handy for her planned mischief for this evening. She chuckled as several scenarios played out in her mind.  _This was going to be so much fun!_

That he'd be out looking for her again tonight, she had no doubt. Her feet faltered a step. But what if he wasn't? She shrugged and patted the side of her duffle bag. Well, she'd set up some booby-traps in the church for later anyway. They could sit. The chances that someone else might wander into them were low and even if they did, she'd just have to reset them.

As the church loomed ahead she thought she caught the sound of something crashing and breaking. Her steps slowed and she moved in a circle as she walked, scanning the surroundings carefully in case of hidden threats. The storage facilities were dead of any movement. A few doves fluttered in a panic out from the open rafters of the church. They scattered in the afternoon sky towards the scrawny trees lining the scrub behind the building.

The sound came again and she crept closer to the burned ruins. She gasped and dove to one side as a brick erupted through one of the shattered stained glass windows. A rainbow of glass shards tinkled down around her. Must be some stupid punk kids tearing up the place, she reasoned. Better come back later, she wasn't in a fighting mood at the moment. But as she turned a strange sound caught her attention. It sounded like an injured animal; a strangled howl that unnerved her. She frowned; approached the side entrance that Leonardo had used with her the other night as stealthily as she could.

She crouched and crept low along some fallen beams. She peered over the rotting and burnt wood. Her eyes widened; her heart jumped into her throat. She stood up, dropping the bag, making an eruption of dust at her feet. All her plans abandoned and forgotten in that moment.

He was sitting in the center of a mess of broken glass, splintered pews and scattered candles. His shoulders were shaking and a strange choking, coughing noise was coming from him. The sound she'd heard outside, it was him. He made no move or sign that he'd heard her or even knew she was there.

She moved slowly and came but a few feet from where he sat, her boots crunching the broken pieces of glass. He was hurt. She took in the blood and the hasty wrapping of his wound that wasn't doing him or it any good. It wasn't the injury that made her feel so frightened for him. Rather, the fact that he seemed to be . . .  _crying_. She crouched down and tentatively reached out her hand. When her fingertips made contact with his shoulder he jumped and snapped his head up. She gasped and nearly fell backwards from the shock.

His mask was gone, she'd never seen any of them without their masks. Without it, he looked child-like and defenseless. His face was a mess of dirt and tear tracks. Large tears continued to spill from the corners of his eyes and roll down the sides of his cheeks as he stared at her; eyes bouncing between hers, as if he were trying to decide if she was really there or not. His deep blue eyes shielded nothing from her. Open and raw with emotion; full of deep sadness and fear, his bottom lip quivered. She had never seen him so vulnerable. It was breaking her heart and invoking in her a powerful desire to ease his pain somehow.

"Leonardo," she began, she brought her hand gently to his bruised cheek. He shook and pressed his cheek into her palm; blinked as more tears spilled free. "What has happened?"

His throat worked, but no words came from his mouth. He lifted trembling arms and suddenly fell into her embrace, completely and utterly helpless. He pressed his face into her chest and shoulder as his body fought against the rising tide of sobs that threatened to take him under again. She wrapped her arms around his shell and his head and began kissing the top of it. She felt his body trembling against her.

"It-It's okay," Karai murmured and felt her heart hammering. Fear, excitement and something deeper filled her then. It shook her to her core.

Slowly, she realized he was saying something, over and over, desperately pleading with her, and slowly she made it out.

" _Please, help me, Karai, please. Karai, please, please help me."_

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! That was a doozy to write! Hoped you liked it and hope it came out as powerfully as I saw it in my head, lol. Hopefully, we'll get to some smooching in the next chapter, but we'll see what the muse has in store for me! I hope you don't mind the constant updates, I just had some extra time this week to write and my mind has been occupied with this story. (I haven't abandoned The Long Way Home, lol, I swear!)
> 
> I have a deviantart page now with some of my sad attempts at drawing. Check it out when you have a chance. ( sleepingseeker . deviantart . com )I did one drawing featuring this story. As always, leave a comment and review! I swear I only bite if asked ;')


	10. Lifeline

**Chapter 10 - Lifeline**

* * *

" _Please Karai, please help me,"_ he murmured over and over.

She felt his large hands pawing and grabbing the back of her shirt in his distress; balling the fabric into his fists, stretching it tautly across her front; clinging to her like she was his lifeline. He nuzzled his wet cheeks into her chest, shaking all the while. With her arms wrapped around his shoulders and shell, she couldn't stop the momentum as his thighs bunched and pressed her back. She lost her balance and they tumbled to the ground into the splintered wood and broken glass. Her breath knocked from her with a grunt.

Leonardo held his body to hers; moved his mouth up her neck, his lips repeating the whispering pleas, stopping in between saying her name to kiss her and nuzzle her neck and jaw with desperate fervor and haste. As if he was plunging forward without thinking. She felt his panting breath warm against her neck, raising goosebumps where it caressed her skin. His heart hammered against him and Karai could feel the resounding throb of it matching her own through her shirt.

Fear shot through her as his arms tightened around her suddenly and his body quivered on top of hers; pressing down. She felt his need like a physical force; it washed over her, overwhelming her senses with its primal energy. Suddenly, she was very aware of the fact that she was alone with a very strong, very emotionally fragile mutant ninja. Panic fluttered through her like a caged bird; her heart raced. She felt suffocated and frightened.

" _Please, help me Karai, please."_ His voice breathy and whispering against her neck.

Karai pushed against his shoulders but it was like pushing against a brick wall, solid and unrelenting. She squirmed but he held her fast. She couldn't break free. The weight of him pinned her securely. Her heels dug into the floor but gave her no leverage. This wasn't happening.

The sounds of his pleading mixed with a deep whimpering sound that came from the base of his throat. His breathing turned husky and labored, he pulled back and stared into her eyes; his own stormy and dark; pleading for her consent. They balanced on a precipice together; one word from her, that's all it would take to tip them over. His eyes searched hers, waiting; pouring his desire, his yearning loneliness, and desperate hope through his gaze into her. It was too much. She had to make him stop before he lost control and dragged her with him.  _If_  she could make him stop. Her heart fluttered. Her hands still braced against his muscular shoulders, still pushed against him, still made no headway. She drew a tremulous breath.

"Stop," she commanded, but couldn't quite hide the waver of fear in her voice.

Was it the word itself or the fear he heard in her voice that seemed to crush him from the inside out? She wasn't sure. He closed his eyes and dropped his head. But just like that, she felt him gather control over himself. It was… _amazing_. Her fear and panic receded as he moved off her. He slid off her body and sat next to her; one arm slung over his bent knee. His shallow soft panting was the only thing that gave away how difficult the last few seconds were for him.

' _Good luck finding someone who'd pity-fuck you!'_

The memory of her cutting remark sliced deep into his wounded heart. More tears spilled free, he rubbed his cheek with his shoulder; feeling the ache from the gash of Splinter's blade as he moved. Shame hung on his heart, weighing him down.  _Nice try, Leo._  What did he think was going to happen? She would just suddenly take him into her arms and accept his love?  _She doesn't want_ you _, you're a freak to her. Splinter was right. I am a fool,_ he thought bitterly.

Leonardo gathered in a deep breath and glanced with only his glassy eyes, not exactly at her, but in her general direction. He couldn't quite look at her. He felt too fragile, like a glass already shattered but still just managing to hold together. It would kill him to look directly at her right now. He wouldn't be able to handle anymore cruelty nor was he strong enough to witness her apparent disgust of him.

Karai braced herself up on her elbows then raised herself to sit up. She stared at him, still feeling a bit shaken but oddly not angry with him. Her mind was a fuzzy mess of confused thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he said. The words fell soft and flat.

The sweet, desperate pleas were gone, disappeared into the dust motes swirling silently around them. His tear-streaked face now a neutral mask. He wouldn't look at her. The walls were up again between them. But she'd seen the cracks; peered through them to discover his tender, wounded heart. A heart made of things you read about in stories but never actually find in real life: honor, nobility, kindness, and strength. But there was also a deep loneliness within him and it cried out to her own.

With a trembling hand running through her hair, she composed herself and decided something. She wanted to help him. And, she looked up as the doves returned to their roosting spot above them in the burnt out rafters, their wings white and pure in the rays of the afternoon light, she'd answer his pleas…but not now. Not while he was an emotional mess. This wasn't how she wanted it. She realized with a thrill of fear spiked with bright joy that this was what she'd wanted all along. Karai stared at him, sitting lost and despondent; and was stunned. All the teasing, the fighting, the frustration and anger…it all lead to this revelation. She nearly laughed out loud. It felt so good to have clarity for a change.

She smiled and stood up abruptly. With a nervous frown, Leonardo watched as she strode through the debris and climbed over the broken statue of a saint that he'd knocked over earlier, to the mess he left of their first aid supplies near the hidden entranceway. He saw her lift a bag, open it, and rummage around a bit then turn back to him with a bunch of items in her arms. He braced, unsure. He was without a weapon.

Karai returned; dropped the bundle near his leg and crouched next to him near his injured arm. She held out her hand; raised her eyebrow, waiting. He blinked, confused. With a sigh, she reached under his wounded arm, drew it close to her and began to unwrap the loosely wound bandage.

"You did a terrible job on this. I hope you're not the family medic."

She unscrewed a bottle of water and carefully poured it over the gash, washing away some of the dirt, swiping gently with her fingers, knocking bits of glass away from the opening. With the tips of her fingers, she eased the skin up and pressed it closed.

"Press here," she ordered.

With a loss for words and never taking his eyes off her, he moved his other hand to hold his skin in place while she threaded a curved needle that she'd taken from their first aid stash. She knocked his hand away, a bit roughly and started to stitch the wound. Leonardo could only watch her as the needle bit into his skin with expert care. He showed no outward sign of discomfort. She wasn't surprised. She snipped the thread with her teeth; poured more water over the wound and wrapped it in fresh bandages. When finished a half smile played over her mouth.

"Let's take a look at those hands."

In a stupor he lifted his hands, palms down to her. She took his thick fingers into her hands and examined the slice running horizontally across the back of his hands.

"Hm. Not too deep. Look, they're already clotted."

Leonardo could only stare at her, his mouth open a little. She reached over and pulled out two large band aids and after pouring water over the cuts, she dabbed the back of his hands with a piece of fabric from her bag. She taped the band aids to hold them more securely in place.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Are you hungry?" she asked, completely ignoring his question. At her prompt, his stomach suddenly voiced its opinion on the matter; loudly. "Thought so." She stood and pointed at him. He stared at her, baffled.

"Don't go anywhere."

He sat in stunned silence as she slipped away. He listened as her footsteps raced away. Glancing at his wrapped hands he wondered what this was all about. He felt so confused. His mind wandered over the events of the last hour. He'd acted foolish and dishonorable; crying and forcing himself at her like that; allowing himself to lose control. It made him feel sick and deeply ashamed but also lucky that she didn't take the opportunity to knife him.  _I'd deserve it._

 _She isn't like that_ , his heart whispered.  _She wouldn't hurt me. Just like I would never hurt her._

The thought brought images of what happened earlier with Master Splinter. He cringed. He didn't want to think about what happened at the lair. When his mind started in that direction it felt like his heart was being crushed inside his chest. But he couldn't keep back the tide of memory and regret. How did things escalate so quickly? What was perfectly clear, was that Splinter had effectively ordered him to kill Karai next time he had the opportunity. He felt the familiar twist of anger and rebellion accompany the thought. He'd  _never_  hurt her, he thought stubbornly.

_If Splinter wants to make someone else leader because of that, then…so be it._

Leonardo thought of what Splinter said about putting his brothers in danger. If his brothers were in danger, he knew he wouldn't hesitate. He wanted to tell Splinter that he would never,  _ever_ , put them in danger, that nothing would ever compromise him when it came to keeping them safe. But he never had the chance to voice it. Splinter had gotten so angry with him; angrier than he'd ever seen his father become. He sighed.

_He thinks I've dishonored him and our family. But I've done nothing wrong._

He glanced at the bandages again, at the one on his arm. Karai had good in her, and even if he didn't… _care_  for her so much, he knew there was just something special about her. He sighed. If only he could convince Splinter and make him understand.

_Why wouldn't he just let me explain?_

Leonardo's heart constricted painfully and he closed his eyes with his exhale. Opening his eyes, he flicked at a square piece of glass on the floor near his knee. Weariness weighed on him as his empty stomach rumbled again. It felt as if another migraine was starting to form behind his eyes.

Less than an hour later, Karai emerged with a bundle in her arms. He watched her warily as she approached and tossed the bundle at him. He caught it, looked at it astonished and bewildered.

"Clothes?" he asked.

"Put them on. We're going out." She held up two pair of boots. "Didn't know your size, but hopefully one of these will fit."

* * *

"I know where he went, just let me go get him and bring him back," Raphael said.

Splinter sat in Donatello's infirmary as he finished stitching the wound in his shoulder. Gently, he wrapped gauze and then a bandage over the gash. Splinter held a claw over it and closed his eyes. He opened them and nodded at Donatello who helped him back into the sleeve of his robe.

"Thank you, my son. Well done, as always," he said to Donatello.

Raphael continued to pace only stopping when Splinter eased himself up from the chair and walked past him towards his room.

"Leave your brother be, Raphael. He needs time to consider his obligations to this family. He must realize that his duty in life to you and your brothers is most serious and must come before any and all selfish desires."

He placed a hand on Raphael's shoulder. They stared at each other. Raphael blinked as he thought his father looked as though he'd aged in the last few hours. His eyes were bloodshot with darkened circles showing beneath the thin fur there and his ears hung limply back against his head.

"But what if you're right about Karai? What if she's leading him right to the Shredder? That was an elite I fought."

Splinter seemed to shrink and beneath his fur, he paled. He opened his mouth but closed it and with a shake of his head as though banishing a frightening thought, he patted Raphael on his shoulder and then moved around him, walking out of the infirmary. Raphael followed him, Donatello only a step behind. Both straining their ears for his response.

"Leonardo will come back to us. He will come back," he repeated without answering Raphael's questions.

* * *

The pants were easy. The material was thin and the waist band elastic. He had to roll the top over a few times, because the legs were a little long. The sweatshirt, on the other hand, was a bit more challenging. Leonardo's arms were through the arm holes, and his head popped through beneath the oversized hood, but he couldn't quite reach behind to pull it over his shell. Karai stood back with her arms crossed as he circled in his attempt; stumbling and struggling all the while grunting and panting with the effort. She chuckled. He looked ridiculous. She stepped close to him and yanked the bottom down over his shell. He looked sheepishly up at her from under the shadow of the hood.

"You're adorable."

He blinked and looked away, blushing slightly, not wanting to get too excited over the comment, but his heart raced a little.

"Okay, let's try these boots."

She crouched down in front of him as he leaned against the wall for balance. Again he felt his face grow warm, though he wasn't exactly sure why. Something about her being so near him, her face so close to…he swallowed and cleared his throat. She grabbed his ankle and started to slide his foot into the first boot. It got stuck and she jammed it aggressively, trying to get it on. The first pair didn't come close, the second were a little big and they pinched in places, but he didn't complain.

"You good?"

He shrugged feeling ridiculous and uncomfortable. "Feels weird."

She smiled and jerked her head toward the exit. "Okay, let's get something to eat."

They moved towards the back of the church, climbing over broken boards where necessary. The pants pulled and stretched against his legs and his feet kept banging against things, but he managed. Karai dashed outside, but Leonardo hesitated just inside the shadowy doorway. The sun blazed overhead. He hung back, suddenly unsure and feeling afraid. Karai turned around, she'd been saying something that he didn't hear. She glanced around then came back and grabbed him by the elbow.

" _Come on_. What are you a vampire?"

He blinked as his eyes watered from the sunlight. His feet dragged through the gravel and dirt as she tugged him forward. She stopped, stooped a bit and looked at him beneath the hood, picking the edge of it up with her thumb and finger.

"Trust me," she said.

He wanted to, really he did, but . . . Splinter taught them to never risk going out in the day. It was too risky.

"C'mon, the sounds your stomach is making is starting to scare me. Just keep your head down and your hands in your pockets and you'll be fine."

He nodded. A thrill went through him as she linked her arm through his as they walked. She was saying something about food trucks and whether he'd want Greek or Mexican, or did he want a foot-long, whatever that meant. But he wasn't really listening to a word she said. All he could focus on was her arm through his and her body pressed close to him as they walked together. Like a regular, normal couple. He gulped.

As they turned down the street and made their way into a neighborhood more and more populated with people, he realized that no one paid them any attention at all and he felt himself relaxing more and more. It was going to be okay. He steadied his breathing and took it all in: the sun shining above them, the people moving around them, the noise of traffic and laughter of kids playing basketball in the parking lot they passed; her  _smiling_  as she talked; he floated along in blissful joy, all the while holding to her arm with his like a lifeline between dreams and reality.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:Thanks everyone for the wonderful support! Keep those reviews coming, they so inspire me to write! Stay tuned for the next chapter! xo


	11. Bittersweet Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a glimpse into how his brothers are handling this entire situation with Karai. Donatello's tangled emotions over a certain red-head make their first appearance - something that develops later into a massive subplot to this story!

* * *

In the dojo, Michelangelo swung his nunchucks around and around, catching the handle under his armpit and with a twist of his wrist, back around his head, repeating the motions without effort. Donatello set his bo down and leaned on it.

"I still can't believe that Splinter kicked Leo out," Michelangelo said causally.

Donatello shot a look at Michelangelo. "He didn't kick him out, Mikey. Leo ran off after he lost that stupid duel." He paused, remembering the look on his brother's face when he dropped the sword. "He must have felt terrible for hurting Splinter. Gah, why didn't Splinter give him a chance to explain?"

"M-m. He ran off cuz he wants to be with Karai more than us." He shrugged as if it was that simple.

Donatello threw his bo into the corner of the dojo. Michelangelo dropped his hands to his sides, then nervously fingered one end of his nunchuck. Donatello was glaring at the space in front of his feet with his arms crossed in front of his plastron; thinking hard. His eyes wandered to the pair of katanas on the wall, Leonardo's blue mask dangled off one of the ends.

"That's not why he left," Donatello said quietly.

"Um, I was standing right next to you when he did. Right over there." He pointed to the far wall.

"Master Splinter told him he has to  _kill_  her next time he sees her, Mikey. Don't you get it? He . . . just can't deal with that right now."

He stared blankly at Donatello. "She's a Foot soldier. They try to kill us, we get them before that happens. Doesn't matter if it's a girl. We'd still end up just as dead. Leo's just gone  _crazy_  or something." He frowned then his eye brows shot up. "Maybe she drugged him!"

"No, Mikey, no." Donatello pinched the bridge of his snout. "She didn't drug him." He rubbed his face.

"That would explain why he's been actin' all weird and obsessed with her!" he said, getting more excited at his theory. "You're gonna have to come up with a cure."

" _Ugh_." He threw his hands up in the air. "You don't understand anything."

He stormed past Michelangelo who tossed his nunchucks and followed him.

"I guess I don't," Michelangelo said, getting angry. "If he hasn't been drugged, why is he after her when he knows she's with the Foot Clan to begin with? She's nothing but trouble. Splinter's right."

Donatello glanced at him over his shoulder. With a shake of his head, he walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, searched and pulled out some cold pizza. He took a square and threw the box with the remaining pieces on the table. He bit into the slice in his hand, grimaced and poured a mug of black coffee. It was bitter and cold. He wrinkled his nose and dropped the rest of the slice into the trash can.

"Nice dinner," Raphael said, coming into the kitchen. "Healthy." He opened the corner of the pizza box and let it drop.

The brothers stood in silence. The air hung heavy with tension and unease. Raphael gripped the back of a chair and Michelangelo shifted his feet, crossed and uncrossed his arms. Donatello looked down at the mug in his hand. The events of the morning replayed in each of their minds. Each had their own perspective on what Splinter had done. One of the three felt it was handled completely wrong. Donatello gritted his teeth. Anger welled up in him. His fingers tightened around the chipped porcelain mug.

Unconsciously, they all eventually brought their eyes to the seat where Leonardo often sat reading over a cup of tea. This felt all wrong. Without Leonardo, everything seemed unbalanced. When was he coming back? Was he coming back?

"Maybe I should talk to Splinter," Donatello said to no one in particular.

The door to the lair opened and three faces turned.

"He came back!" Raphael said. He smacked the table. "I  _knew_  it!" With a wide smile appearing on his face, he dashed out of the kitchen.

Donatello sniffed and wrinkled his nose. The notes of her perfume that he knew so well (and eventually came to despise) hit him. He looked less than thrilled and his burning eyes met Michelangelo's then dropped.

"It's not him. It's…"

"Hey, bro-skis," Casey's deep voice erupted from the living room.

"Where is everyone," April's voice, soft and sweet like a poisoned dart to his heart, followed.

Donatello pushed off from where he leaned against the counter. He seemed even more agitated. He dropped his mug into the sink, nearly breaking it. Michelangelo watched him.

"'M going out."

"I'm coming too."

Donatello stopped. "I'm going to the junk yard, you sure you want to come?"

Michelangelo shrugged. They stepped out of the kitchen to find Casey lounging on the sofa, legs hanging off the arm rest, the remote in his hands. Raphael sat in the lumpy chair across from him, elbows on his knees, looking disappointed but resigned and April half-sat on the back of the couch, her hand running through the hair on top of Casey's head, ruffling it affectionately. She smiled when she spotted them. Donatello's steps faltered at her smile, then he kept walking.

"Hey, there you are. We were wondering where everyone was."

"Hiya, April. Casey, how ya doing?" Michelangelo greeted them, less cheerfully than usual.

April caught the odd tone and stood up. She reached out to touch Donatello as he walked past. He glanced sideways at her, gave her a curt nod and immediately looked away. Roughly, he yanked his backpack off a peg on the wall.

"Everything okay?" she asked, coming closer. She reached out again, her fingertips brushed his shoulder.

He jumped as if something hot had just seared him and sidestepped so abruptly that he stumbled into Michelangelo.

"Hey, bro. Watch it."

"Sorry," he mumbled and opened the door leading out.

"You're going out?" April asked, sounding more than a little hurt. Donatello paused in the doorway, hesitating, listening. "But . . . I just got here."

"Yeah, stick around, genius. Mikey, how 'bout you fix us some grub. Then we can play some poker." Casey said from the couch.

Donatello stiffened, his grip on the handle tightened until his knuckles were white. He slammed the door shut as he left. April flinched. Michelangelo shrugged an apology and went after Donatello. Raphael didn't even ask where they were going. He knew. The only place deserted in the middle of the afternoon. The junk yard. He knew he wouldn't be seeing his brothers again until late.

Since April started seeing Casey more seriously, Donatello never hung around with them anymore. He'd be locked up in his lab or run off to the junk yard for the rest of the day, only coming out or coming home when he was sure she'd be gone. They all knew Donatello had harbored feelings for April since the day he laid eyes on her.

Raphael didn't know what he'd expected. He had tried to tell Donatello. She was human. None of  _them_  would ever feel romantic towards him or his brothers. They were freaks. They should be grateful to even have a  _friendship_. The fact that she fell for Casey just proved his point.

Donatello tried to not let the hurt show. He did his best not to mess up his brother's friendship with April. But he wasn't fooling anybody. He just wasn't that good of an actor.

"Geez, a bit touchy today. Purple havin' his period or somethin'?" Casey asked.

Raphael snorted softly. "Ah, it's been a crazy morning."

April turned. "Where's Leo?"

Raphael huffed.

* * *

After three hot dogs and a sampling of various versions of fried potatoes, Leonardo decided that seasoned curly fries were his favorite. Ridiculous looking, but delicious. The sun made him feel a little warm under the sweatshirt, but the disguise offered so much freedom, he would put up with a little sweating.

The sun was setting as Karai hailed a taxi, Leonardo sat, crouching as small as he could possibly get in the sticky back seat. His heart hammered as he glanced out the window, watching the multitudes of people whizzing by. As darkness started to fall, it seemed that families and older people were replaced with younger groups of people all similar in age. They stopped just outside an area of trees and fewer people. A park. They climbed out of the taxi and Karai grabbed his shoulder and whispered something to him.

"Run. Fast."

He didn't need to be told twice. The driver jumped out from his cab and started shouting and screaming as they raced into the park together. Leonardo's eyes round with fright and excitement. The boots rubbed and pinched against his heels and toes, slowing him, but still they outran the furious man and lost him the park. Chuckling, Karai jumped up and grabbed a low hanging branch and hauled herself up, climbing higher into an enormous red oak. Leonardo followed, panting and out of breath.

"What was that all about?"

Karai smiled a crooked smile at him as she leaned back against the trunk of the tree, one leg bent and hung down, the other knee up, her wrist rested on it. Leonardo moved above her and laid against the wide branch, his chin rested on the rough bark, looking down at her.

She shrugged. "Maybe he didn't like the look of us."

Leonardo blinked, realizing something. "You were supposed to pay him for the ride."

"Relax."

Something else hit him. "Karai. Did you . . . did you pay for the food we ate?"

"Tsk. Will you relax?"

Leonardo frowned. He pushed himself up and sat, two legs around the branch. Karai swiped at his boot knocking it back.

"No more stealing," he said firmly. She rolled her eyes; brought her finger to her lips.

"Shh."

Below them a couple walked, hands clasped. They stopped and leaned against the trunk of the tree they sat in. The man was blond and the woman a brunette. They leaned in closer and started to kiss. The kissing turned into groping. Leonardo shifted and looked away, uncomfortable and suddenly too warm. Karai watched them with disdain. Then she snapped a branch in half, let the pieces fall on their heads. The couple broke apart, chuckling, without a glance in her or Leonardo's direction and moved on. Karai stood up and climbed to the branch where Leonardo sat. She straddled the branch and looked at him.

"So, you want to tell me why you were so upset earlier?"

Leonardo looked away. She crossed her arms.

"What, did someone die?"

His face snapped up. "Don't say that," he said, his voice clipped. She shrugged.

"Where are your swords and mask?" she pressed.

He suddenly looked uncomfortable. He shifted and brought two legs over the same side. She did the same and scooted closer to him. She laid her hand on top of his. The touch made him start. Her glittering eyes widened in shock.

"Wait a minute. Are you telling me  _you_ got into  _trouble_?"

Her open mouth curved upwards into a delighted grin. His cheeks blushed furiously, making him angry and nervous at once. He slid his hand out from under hers; cracked his knuckles and fidgeted. He didn't like that his deep distress was entertaining to her.

"You did! You got into trouble!  _Ooo_ , what did you do?" She shoved his shoulder with hers.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Tell me! What, did you make Chamomile tea instead of Oolong for Splinter?" she teased.

His frown deepened. Pulling away from her, he jumped down from the branch, then to the ground with a huff. She followed with a tinkling bout of laughter. Why did it have to sound like music to him? She landed on the ground, broke into a roll and popped up next to him. She danced around to the front of him. He burrowed his fists deeper into his pockets; glanced around for an escape.

"Oh, I know! You tugged on Splinter's fur too hard when you were brushing him!" She burst out laughing harder this time.

Leonardo fumed; narrowed his eyes. "Stop it, Karai. That isn't funny."

She made a pretend serious face. "I'm sure it's quite a job you have. Gotta keep that fur silky and shiny."

" _That's enough!"_  he shouted and she stepped back. Then she shoved him. It was his turn to step back.

"Don't  _yell_  at me."

She dropped and swept her leg around and caught him at the ankles. He went down onto his shell with a grunt. He sprung back to his feet, a little awkwardly, due to the boots. His hood fell back off his head. Quickly, he scanned around them, then pulled it back in place. Thankfully, no one was around. She narrowed her eyes at him. His breath came hard and shaky.

"Stop teasing about my…"

"Pet rat?" she asked snidely.

He felt his fist shaking; the muscles in his arms quivered. It was taking all he had to not punch her in the face right then. His jaw clenched. He turned; shoulders hunched and started walking briskly away from her; eyes burning; heart racing; the hot dogs he ate earlier started fighting with all the curly fries in his stomach and he didn't feel well. The clothes bunched around his body and felt like they were tying him up; constricting about his limbs. His feet protested each rigid step he took, bound and aching within the boots. He felt like tearing off all the stupid clothes and running.

"Hey,  _hey,_ " she called to him. She skipped and caught up to him. "C'mon, I was just teasing. You're skin's pretty thin for a ninja master."

He kept walking, ignoring her.

"You're too uptight. That's your problem."

"Leave me alone, Karai," he ground out.

"Oh,  _come on_. I know you fought with your . . . father, Leo. I know you didn't just happen to show up at the church without your weapons because you forgot them. Please. You're not the first person to fight with their parent." She gestured to her faded black eye with one hand.

His footsteps faltered and slowed; his anger ebbed. She slipped her arm through his and he allowed it.

"It'll blow over. I mean, you're his favorite, right?"

That made him come to a full stop. He frowned at her.

"What?"

She shrugged. "We know all about you and your brothers," she said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Leonardo felt ice run through his veins.

* * *

Michelangelo picked up a battered gym shoe and tossed it over his shoulder with a disgusted sigh. He sat on top of a truck tire with his legs crossed. Donatello was buried, next to him, digging out something. He had no idea what. He started to feel like it would've been way more fun to stay at home and play cards with Raph, Casey and April. Night was falling and a breeze took away some of the stench from their surroundings. Some, not all.

"So, you said I don't understand . . . about Leo and Karai."

Donatello stopped digging for a moment, listening, then continued.

"So . . . why don't you spell it out for me?"

Donatello backed out of the garbage. Cans and garbage rained down on his shell as he emerged backwards from the tunnel he'd burrowed into. His skin was dirty and slimy in places and Michelangelo wrinkled his nose. He shook his hands, and bits of grime flew off. Michelangelo dodged the flying drips.

"Bro, you reek."

"Didn't you hear what Leo told Splinter? He said he  _loves_  her, Mikey."

Michelangelo blinked at Donatello. "Yeah, but, he doesn't mean it."

"What?" Donatello asked, confused and angry. "Of course he means it. He wouldn't confess something like that for no reason."

Michelangelo shook his head stubbornly. "No way, she's a Foot."

"Mikey, when you have feelings that strong for someone. You . . . you can't help it. It just . . . happens and it grows bigger and bigger and then . . . you . . . you're stuck. And it hurts. Okay? It hurts when you're away from that person and . . . it hurts when you're with them. It just . . . always hurts." His voice started strong but ended almost in a whisper.

Michelangelo stared at Donatello.

"We're not talking about Leonardo and Karai right now, are we."

Donatello blinked and looked at his brother. He sat down heavily on a mound of garbage. The weight of him made it shift and he slid down lower. He braced his elbows on his knees and put one hand on top of his head. After a while he looked up at Michelangelo and there were bright unshed tears in his eyes.

"He's not gonna come back. If she wants him, we'll lose him to her."

"No. No way. How can you say that?"

"Because if it were me, if-if she wanted  _me_ ," his voice cracked. "I wouldn't."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After getting input from one of my readers, I realized I had to balance out the story a bit and give you some idea of how the others are taking the revelation. I hope I satisfied those questions with the above chapter. 
> 
> I just can't get away from Donnie and April's story. It just finds it's way into my stories, lol. Sometimes it ends up well and sometimes not so much...ah, love. It isn't always easy, is it?


	12. Caught in the Web of Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just a warning, this chapter has an 'M' scene in it near the end. That's all I'm sayin'.
> 
> Oh, and I don't own 'em, but I do love 'em!

 

* * *

Karai pulled at his arm, making him step forward. She shook her head and chuckled.

"Don't act so  _surprised_. Your family's been a pain in the ass for, well, since forever. We're mortal enemies. Of course the Foot has intel on you and your family. We don't just run around robbing ammunition factories."

Leonardo pulled his arm away from her; the movement made the stitching on his cut pull and hurt. He stepped to one side, away from her off the path into the grass; staring at her under his hood in growing dread. Dizziness made the world tilt and he found his breath coming in short gasps.

"And is this . . . what this is?" He gestured to himself and then Karai with two hands, palms out.

Karai stared at him like he'd grown another head.

"It's all been about gathering . . . more intel on my family, on me?"

Understanding dawned on her. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth only to shut it with a snap.  _Oh, shit. He thinks I've been like a double agent or something._  It made perfect sense and she could see why he'd think that. She'd have to convince him that she didn't mean him any harm. A crooked smile played on her mouth and she shook her head. She brought her hands up. The cast on her wrist almost glowed in the twilight.

"Don't be so paranoid."

" _Paranoid?_  What about the elite that nearly ambushed me the other night? He followed us to the church. Am I supposed to believe that was some sort of, what? Coincidence?"

"Now that I can explain."

He crossed his arms and shifted his feet in the grass. His heart hammered and part of his mind told him to leave and not listen to her lies while another insisted he hear her out.

"My father is nuts." She rolled her eyes. "He had me followed because I screwed up that job he gave me, uh, thanks to you," she held up her cast and twisted her broken wrist quickly for emphasis, "and then I snuck out after we," she fluttered her fingers towards her face and eye, "had a disagreement. You know how it is."

"Wait a minute. Your father ordered an elite soldier to shadow you?"

She nodded and was relieved to see he understood. "I know, right? Annoying."

Leonardo dropped his arms. A terrible thought was taking root in his mind. A darkness welled up threatening to smoother him. Suddenly it was difficult to breath, like all the air around him had been sucked away. He advanced on her and took her upper arms into his fists. His dark eyes bore into hers. She looked surprised and a little scared.

"Karai. Who is your f-father?"

She frowned. "You know who he is." Her voice a mix of irritation and fear.

He shook her; sickening fear drove him to know; his mind already knew; but he wanted to hear her say it; confirm it to his disbelieving heart.

" _Tell me,"_ he commanded through gritted teeth.

"S-Saki, Oroku Saki."

He froze, mouth open, eyes round, not seeing; the darkness swallowing up the edges of his vision.  _No, it wasn't true._  It  _couldn't_  be true. Fate couldn't be that cruel. She was teasing him. It was a joke, a sick joke, but only that. It was funny actually. Really, really hysterical. His breath huffed out a strangled choke that was a mix between a chuckle and a broken pant. The world beyond her face was spinning as he stared into her eyes. The dark green of the trees, the bushes and the black sky above began to swirl into a cavernous pit just behind them.

_No, please, no._

But the truth stood firm. Her eyes held not the twinkle of mischief, no defiance, only the plain and horrid truth. Her eyes did not lie. The Shredder was her father. He dropped his head. It was true. He felt his stomach clench and fought back the urge to vomit.

_Oh god, I'm a fool._

"Leo . . . let go of me. You're starting to . . . hurt me," her voice was soft, her mouth very close to his cheek.

He hadn't realized he was still clutching her. Concentrating hard, he forced his fingers to uncurl and release her from their grip. His feet staggered backwards; his legs felt like jelly and as he moved his ankle twisted and he fell onto his bottom with a grunt. His body started to shake, he glanced around but the darkness was closing in rapidly. Karai fell onto her knees in front of him. Her hands went to his shoulders.

"Leonardo. Leo, look at me."

He tried to. He really did, but his blinking, burning eyes couldn't quite make it past her collar bone. His breath started to squeeze in and out of him as if his lungs forgot how to work. Dimly, he felt her hands on either side of his face. They forced him to look up. His hood fell back off his head. In the twilight, she could see the tears standing in his eyes, making them sparkle.

"I thought you knew. I thought you  _knew_ , dammit."

She bit her lip.

"Look, I don't give a shit about what my father wants. Do you understand me? I never have."

Her words seemed to be coming from a long distance away. He clung to each syllable like a drowning man reaching for a life preserver.

"I play the game and I survive. Just like you. I didn't get to choose who my father is. Just like you didn't get to choose your life. But I need you to believe me when I tell you that you can trust me."

He blinked at her. His throat worked. His bandaged hands came up and covered hers. He wanted to trust her. But he felt such paralyzing fear. He was afraid that Splinter was right; that everything he felt between them had only been lies; that she was in fact working for her father to trick him in the most humiliating way possible; to exploit his feelings for her in order to destroy his family. A soft mewling sound broke from his throat and he struggled against the rising tears.

Karai's expression turned to one of anguish at the sound. The certainty that she would lose him in the next few seconds if she didn't fix this struck her heart like a whip. If she didn't she would never be able to get him back. Terror shook her. She started talking and the words fell quickly from her mouth.

"I . . . I didn't realize, I mean, the fighting with you and your brothers, it was all a game at first. The teasing, it was fun, harmless. I just wanted to get under your skin." She scrunched up her eyes. "But you got under mine. And now, everything's changed."

Leonardo struggled to process what she was trying to tell him. His confused mind blurred and his hopeful heart pushed his lips apart to force him to ask, "What are you saying to me?" His voice came out ragged and only a whisper.

Her eyes softened. "Don't you get it? I'm saying that I want to be with you. I don't want to lose you,  _ever_."

He felt the world stutter to a halt; could only hear his heart beating; could only see her beautiful eyes and watch her lips form the words that spoke directly to his heart.

"Leonardo, I love you," she said her eyebrows raising and a smile spreading over her mouth.

"Karai," he pulled her tightly to him. Her arms went around his shoulders and tightened. The tears rolled down the sides of his face and he didn't care. "I love you, Karai," he said as he burrowed his face into the side of her neck.

* * *

The small camera made no sound as the pictures of the scene below were stolen and recorded. The ninja in the large oak blended seamlessly back into the surrounding shadows.

* * *

"Ah, now isn't this a touching scene."

Karai broke out of Leonardo's arms and spun around, crouching, to face three Purple Dragons standing on the path in front of where she and Leonardo sat. Another three emerged from the bushes behind them.

"What the hell is that?" One holding a crow bar pointed the end of it at Leonardo who narrowed his eyes.

"Hey, that's one of them, uh, them turtles."

The men exchanged startled glances and one of them started to laugh. The taller one in the front with the pistol in his hand.

"Wait, was they . . . were they just making out over here?" More laughter rang out around them. "That's fuckin' disgusting."

Karai's good hand fisted in the grass. She slowly rose to her feet. Leonardo jumped up next to her. The one in front with the black curly hair pointed the gun at her.

"You sick bitch, tell me he at least paid you for it."

More snickers around them. Leonardo stepped in front of her. She came around and stepped back in front of him; slid her feet into a fighting stance, but kept her fist at her side, the injured wrist held slightly behind her hip. Leonardo huffed in frustration at her stubbornness; keeping one eye on those behind them. He saw a switchblade gleam in the light of the mini street lamps that bordered the walking path.

The man with the gun glanced at those flanking him. "What do you think? I should just put her out of her misery?"

A skinny acne ridden punk standing behind them spoke up, "Maybe after we get our turn."

A deep, resonant growl rumbled from Leonardo's throat.

The hammer of the gun pulled back but Karai's right foot shot out and kicked the gun out of his hand. Leonardo turned as the skinny blond dove to tackle Karai. He brought a round house kick around and struck the guy in the head before he even got close to her. The switch blade flashed before Leonardo's snout and he dodged back, bumping into Karai, knocking her forward.

"Oof! Leo!"

With round eyes, he glanced over his shoulder at her. "Sorry!"

She jabbed with her right fist and jumped and dodged as the two punks on the path took turns swinging their fists at her. Blocking with little effort, she skipped and danced around them. Her blood started the flow and she felt the adrenaline kicking in.

She laughed and called out, "You have to work on your dance moves, Leo."

One of the men who came out of the bushes was easily six foot ten. Leonardo had no trouble ducking the blows he swung, but as he did the other came at him with the blade. This guy was no amateur. The blade came again and again inches away from his face. Together the tall one and the short one with the blade pushed Leonardo back and away from Karai. He didn't like that. He wanted to protect her. A sharp cry of pain caught his ear. He paused, listening. It was high pitched and girlie. He smirked, knowing it wasn't Karai's.

The branches of the bushes grabbed at his clothes and again, he just wanted to tear out of the stupid clothing. Now was not the time, he thought as the blade snapped out at his eye. He leapt to one side as the tall guy brought his fist down towards his head. The fabric of his pants made a strange ripping sound as the crotch split open. Leonardo glanced down and then back up just in time to dodge the blade again.

"Time to end this," he said.

The next time the blade came at him, he grabbed the guys' wrist and twisted. The man grunted but wouldn't release the knife. Leonardo spun and threw him over his shoulder. The man fell onto his back and skidded through the dirt and gravel. Leonardo spun and landed a kick into the tall guy's stomach, knocking him back and down. He ran over and punched the guy in the side of his head. The man slumped, unconscious. He turned to see the knife guy run off into the darkness.

Dashing through the bushes, he came out in time to see Karai smack the guy with the dark curly hair upside the head with the crowbar that she'd taken from the punk laying bleeding and unconscious in the grass. Blood sprayed in an arc. The man clutched his head and hollered. Karai advanced on him, as he fell back, scrambling like a crab away from her. She brought her arm up and back.

"Please, no!" the man shrieked, putting his arms up to shield his bleeding head and face.

Leonardo grabbed Karai's wrist. Her eyes flashed and she pulled but he held her fast.

"Don't. It's over," Leo said calmly.

The fire in her eyes flared but then she blinked it back and swallowed. "Didn't you hear what he said?" She turned back to the guy whimpering on the ground. "He deserves this and worse," she spat. She took a step forward.

"It doesn't matter. Let's go."

Her breathing was heavy but she lowered her arm. "Wait." She turned back to the man and pointed the crow bar at his face. A wide eye watched from beneath a river of blood. "Apologize."

"I'm s-sorry!" he bleated.

Karai shook her head. She put the crowbar under her arm and reached back to grab Leonardo by the front of his sweatshirt. She yanked him forward. He blinked and looked from the guy on the ground back to Karai.

"Not to me,  _fucker_ , to my boyfriend."

* * *

The door to the lair opened and Donatello nearly bumped into Raphael as he stepped inside.

"Leo-" Raphael started. His shoulders slumped. "Dammit. I thought for sure it was him this time."

Donatello shook his head. He hung up his backpack as Michelangelo stepped around him. They had walked back to the lair in silence.

"Mikey, I don't care what Splinter says. If Leo senses something in Karai, I think we should trust that," Donatello said.

Raphael looked up. "Are you nuts?" Donatello walked past him. "Ugh, you reek. I think maybe some of that sludge you dig through has gotten into your skull and rotted your brain."

"I can't believe you guys," Donatello said. "No one is going to support Leo in this?"

Michelangelo came out of the kitchen with a bag of chips. He leapt over the back of the couch and pulled the bag open.

"Why should we?" Michelangelo asked.

Raphael shook his head. "Do I need to remind you, egghead, that I got this little present from an ambush meant for our moron of a brother courtesy of his girlfriend?" He gestured to the bandage under his arm.

Donatello sighed through his nose. He didn't know all the details. But he didn't want to give up just yet. He felt he needed to be on Leonardo's side. That someone should be.

"I'm sure it's not what it looks like."

"Well, I can tell ya, first hand, it is. It's exactly what it looks like. I was there, I saw it. Leo met her on the roof and the soldier was right behind them. He needs to snap out of this."

"Pushing him away isn't going to bring him back to us." Donatello tried to reason with them, but he felt his anger rising. "We should at least hear what he's got to say about it."

"I heard enough earlier." Raphael crossed the room and sat next to Michelangelo and grabbed a handful of chips.

"Me too." Michelangelo said between munching. "Leonardo isn't in love with her. He just thinks he is." He pointed a chip at Raphael. "He's been drugged. I'm telling you. There's no way Leo's in love."

Raphael said nothing. He wasn't so sure but didn't want to sound like he was siding with Donatello.

"Denying his feelings for her isn't going to help things either."

Michelangelo tossed the bag of chips to Raphael. He turned in his seat and looked at Donatello.

"This isn't like you and April." Donatello was walking towards the kitchen when he froze. He clenched his jaw. "For one thing Karai isn't April. April doesn't work for the Foot Clan. Karai is dangerous and-and pretty mean  _and_  April wouldn't ever trick us  _and_  she'd never hurt us."

"Speak for yourself," Donatello muttered under his breath.

Raphael raised an eyebrow. Then sighed heavily. This was getting them no where.

"Okay, how 'bout this. We go an' talk to him." Both brothers stared at Raphael. Both surprised. "Tomorrow. Okay? We'll explain to him that he needs to see reason and that he needs to come back where he belongs. Here with us."

Donatello looked a mix of relief and doubt. Michelangelo nodded.

"Sounds like a good plan, bro."

* * *

A few yards away from the church, Karai stopped and told Leonardo to go ahead and she'd meet up with him. He nodded. He still felt stunned at what had happened with the punk inside the park. What Karai had said, '… _my boyfriend.'_ He felt like he'd been sleepwalking all the way back to the church. They hadn't spoken except when they first left the park and were excitedly replaying the fight each experienced. Neither brought up the final scene. Both avoided that part of the night, both pretended not to notice.

He entered the church and huffed. He'd made the ruined gathering space much worse and wondered where he was going to sleep. All the broken glass and splintered wood wasn't exactly inviting. He climbed over some of the debris to a small alcove where a statue of an angel with broken wings stood. Along one wall were rows of small candles inside red votive holders. He crouched and moved some of the boards out of the way and made a space on the floor. This would have to do. A sound caught his ear and he leaned around the corner to see Karai bringing in an armload of pillows and dragging a blanket along the ground.

"Where did you get this stuff?" he asked with a frown.

She shrugged. "One of the storage units."

"Karai…" he started and she shook her head as she dropped the pillows in a heap at the foot of the angel. The fabric was a mix of maroon and gold and covered in embroidered swirls, the blanket matched the Middle-Eastern pattern.

"I'll bring them back tomorrow if that makes you happy."

Leonardo huffed, but didn't want to fight with her so accepted the situation grudgingly. He picked up a pillow and suddenly was possessed with a strange urge. He brought it up and over in an arc and knocked her on top of her head with it.

"Hey!"

Immediately she dropped and grabbed two pillows and batted him with them. He started to laugh and after swiping her with his pillow one last time, sat on the floor. She bopped him again to even the score then threw her weapons to the floor next to him. They chuckled then fell silent. Above in the rafters,, the pigeons softly coo'd. The air seemed to shrink around them and suddenly Leonardo felt anxious and awkward. Karai fidgeted with her cast then shifted and dropped to sit next to him, clearing her throat. She glanced sideways at him and chuckled. He smiled and ducked his head, stealing a sideways glance at her as he did. She caught his eye and they stared at each other for a moment before they blinked and looked away.

"Uh . . . oh!" He reached down and pulled off the boots; tossed them to the side away from them. He wiggled his toes, sighing in relief and Karai noticed the blisters.

"Tsk. Sorry about that," she said.

He shook his head. "Don't be. I-I had a lot of fun today." They exchanged a glance and he huffed a short laugh. "I think I split my pants, though." He stood up and Karai winced.

"Yeah, those are ruined. Not built for ninja action, I guess." She chuckled and cleared her throat again as he slid the pants off and tossed them towards the boots.

"Uh…" he bit his lip, then started to work his arms into the sweatshirt, then changed his mind and tried to pull the bottom up towards his head. His arm ached and he struggled for a few seconds. Karai stood up and came close to him. He froze.

"Let me help."

She pulled the end of one sleeve while he pulled his arm inside, then the other, carefully, because she knew that was his hurt arm. Then she hooked her thumbs under the rim of the shirt and started to ease it up towards his head. His face emerged and Karai stopped, the bulk of the sweatshirt now on top of his head and behind him. Her arms were next to his cheeks. He felt his face grow warm as she looked at him.

Suddenly his arms went around her waist and hers went around his neck. He brought his mouth down and pressed it to her soft lips. She returned the kiss and then somehow they were on the floor on top of the blanket and pillows. Leonardo ran his hands through her hair and couldn't believe how soft it felt flowing through his fingers. His heart pounded and he could feel her breath coming in pants against his neck as she moved the kiss his cheek and jaw. His own breath coming in shallow and heavy. But it caught in his throat as he felt her hands press against his shoulders.

"Wait," she breathed and he felt his heart stop.

She slid out from under him and he couldn't hide the disappointment in his expression. She stood before him. He sat back on his heels, blinking up at her. She smiled and reached down to pull her shirt up and over her head, revealing a black and white silk bra beneath. Leonardo's eyes widened and he swallowed. The disappointment evaporated as the scene before him played out. She kicked off her boots and her pants slipped off in one swift move and she tossed them in the pile of his clothes. He felt time slow as she reached behind her back. The bra came loose and with her good hand she slipped the straps over her shoulders and tossed it free. She hesitated and let him process the sight of her. His blue eyes took on a deep stormy quality as he looked at her and it made her pulse race.

The room spun as his eyes roved over her. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. His body warmed and he felt his desire rising. He started to tremble. In the corner of his fearful mind, he prayed she wasn't teasing him. That this was real. That this was actually happening. His heart galloped as she reached down and wiggled free of her panties.  _This is happening. It really is. It's not a dream._  He stared, mouth open, like an idiot.

Karai bit the inside of her cheek to stop from laughing.  _He really is adorable_ , she thought. Her heart raced as she stood before him. She wished she could read his mind, but watched his expression and the light change in his eyes from fear to disbelief to desire.

His burning eyes took her in, drinking in her beauty, every line, every curve, absorbing every detail. His trembling changed to shaking. It was so embarrassing, but he couldn't stop. The harder he tried to be still, the harder he trembled. He rubbed his sweating hands against the tops of his thighs and tried to slow his breathing before he passed out. She crouched in front of him, then sat on her heels. His mind went completely blank. She tilted her head and her eyes traveled south then not seeing anything came back to meet his eyes. He blinked rapidly.

"Karai," he voice came out cracked and rough, as though suffering from a sore throat.

"I want to see you," she said.

He shook with excitement and terror, but managed to nod. She waited, watching him carefully, intensely. He closed his eyes and with a deep breath he exhaled and released himself. She reached down and he gasped as he filled her hand. She watched fascinated as his most private part emerged and her fingers tightened around him.

"Wow," she breathed, moving her hand. His body constricted and he grabbed her arms.

"No!" he gasped.

She froze, fearful that she'd hurt him or done something wrong. He shook his head and looked absolutely terrified.

"I . . . I . . . c-can't -"

He couldn't seem to form any coherent word. The power of speech had fled him. Understanding dawned on her and she slowly released him. He closed his eyes, panting and struggling to regain control and calm himself. She smiled and moved closer. His eyes snapped open.

"Karai, I . . .I've n-never…"

She put her finger to his mouth as she moved up against him, his shell pressed back against the base of the angel statue. She placed her hands on his shoulders, taking control. Gently, he held her waist. Still he shook and couldn't stop. Her legs slid to his sides, her feet next to his bunching thighs and she eased herself down on top of him. He felt his rigid body spasm with the contact and it took every ounce of control he had not to explode at that moment. His arms encircled her body and crushed her to him. He buried his face into her breasts and gasped as she moved, slowly, slowly against him.

The only word he seemed able to say was her name. And he said it over and over between kissing her breasts and gasping. Her movements became more urgent and her breathing more ragged. Where their bodies rubbed against each other, they were drenched in sweat. His hand roved from her bottom up her back to bunch in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his head and pressed him hard against her breasts as if she wanted him closer to her, even closer still. He felt the tension growing until he thought he'd go mad from the pleasure.

Just when he didn't think he could hold on any longer, he heard her cry out his name, felt her body spasm and shudder and as she did a spike of lust shot through him and he bucked and groaned as he lost all control and his climax rocked him. She threw her head back and rode him as his body jumped and quaked beneath her.

When the storm of passion passed they fell together into the pillows. Leonardo wrapped his arm around her and pulled her tightly against him. His body trembled and sought her warmth. She reached out and pulled the blanket around them.

"I love you, Karai," he whispered into her ear. "I love you."

She smiled and basked in the afterglow of his love and passion.

"I love you, too," she murmured and felt the sweet arms of slumber pull her under.

* * *

"Holy shit," the ninja elite whispered to himself as he slid the camera back into the pouch on his belt and melted away into the shadows like a bad dream fading into the night.

* * *


	13. Family Issues

**Chapter 13 - Family Issues**

* * *

The nightmare found him at the entrance of his home, Karai next to him. Her smiling face held no taunting sneer, her eyes looked at him with loving affection. He took a deep breath and pushed open the doorway and together they stepped inside.

The furniture was overturned and blackened. He let go of her hand as he moved deeper into the wreckage that was his home. Hanging from the beams overhead were three forms. His knees gave out. Their beaten bodies swayed from some invisible breeze. Beneath them, near several pools of crimson blood, lay a small crumpled form, burned black and turned mostly to ash. Splinter's walking stick lay near the body. His eyes widened and hot tears trickled over his cheeks.

" _No."_

Laughter broke out and slowly, Leonardo turned his head to see the Shredder standing next to Karai. His hand on her shoulder.

"Well done, daughter. Well done."

Karai was shouting something to him but he couldn't hear it. He saw her lips forming words but no sound issued forth.

"I am so proud of you."

Frozen, Leonardo could do nothing as the Shredder brought his knuckled blades sweeping across her throat. A curtain of blood fell in a blanket over her suddenly naked body. In slow motion, Leonardo scrambled forward to catch her body as it fell forward, her warm blood spilling over his arms.

In the darkness, Leonardo woke, startled, heart pounding; his cheeks wet from the tears of his dream. He tightened his hold around Karai, nuzzling and breathing in the scent of her hair as he attempted to quiet his heart.  _It was just a nightmare,_  he thought.  _It wasn't real._  But the fear sitting in the base of his stomach coiled like a viper and it was very real.

* * *

Karai's eyes opened and fell on the statue of the angel above her. Her eyes moved to Leonardo who's deep and even breaths told her he was still asleep. He had turned and tucked the arm that was around her under his pillow. She'd had a nightmare last night, but the details slipped away like silken ribbons through her fingers. When she tried to grasp them they only slid away all the quicker. She sat up, wrapped her arms around her knees and looked down at him.

The swirling pattern of his shell mesmerized her as she followed the curving lines. She'd read once somewhere that the lines on a turtle's shell counted for the years it was alive. She wondered if it applied to him. What a strange thing it must be to be him, she thought. Not an animal and yet not fully human. A soul trapped within a twisted form. Though, she considered, not an ugly one. He was beautiful to her, in his own way. But he was caught in between worlds, lost and lonely. She felt she could relate, could understand. How many nights did she feel like she was lost, adrift in a world where there was no place for her to belong? Yes, she had her freedom, but she also had her cage. Just as he does. Different but the same.

Her fingertip stroked the ridges on his shell. She felt a deep warming feeling inside her as she did.  _I really love him_ , she thought, more than a little amazed. He stirred and she stood up, dressed quietly and slipped away into the brightening dawn. The nightmare tugged at the corner of her mind and she pushed away the sinking impression of dread it left her feeling. She'd head back right after she showered and brought some food for him.

* * *

No sooner had Karai exited the front of the church, heading for her hot shower and food, did Leonardo's brothers enter through the side. They crept inside, looking over the ruined interior.

"Was it always this wrecked?" Michelangelo wondered aloud.

Donatello noticed the first aid kit was plundered. Bits of torn bandages, an open and empty antiseptic bottle, as well as a spool of thread littered the floor. Bloody fingerprints dotted the outside of the box. He thought of Leonardo's arm and hands and wondered if he was okay.

"Leo," Raph whispered. "You here?"

They heard someone stirring and quickly the three moved towards an alcove off to one side. There, under a singed statue of an angel with broken wings sat their brother, blinking in the morning light up at them as if he didn't know them, a thick blanket across his legs. Donatello glanced at the blanket, the pillows, the pile of clothes nearby; he noticed the black and white woman's garment and blinked in surprise. He took it all in, his mind piecing together the puzzle. He considered Leonardo, his eyes roving over him; the bandage on his arm, so carefully wrapped, the bandages running around his knuckles. The relaxed expression his face held, almost peaceful. He'd never seen that look on Leo's face before. Understanding dawned. A strange mix of jealousy and pride filled him.  _Good for you, Leo,_  he thought.

Raphael kicked a pillow out of his way and crouched next to Leonardo. Raphael noticed only that his brother seemed off and…he sniffed. There was a strange odor about him.

"Hey, sleepin' beauty."

Groggily, Leonardo stared at him then his eyes darted about the church between where his brothers stood and crouched. He wondered blearily where Karai was and if the visions of the memory of them together dancing inside his mind really was only a dream after all.

"What 'r you guys doin' here?" he asked sleepily, still glancing around for Karai, still wondering if it had all been a wonderful dream.

"We need to talk."

The tone brought his attention to focus.

"I think one day is enough for you to pout," Raph didn't mean for it to come out that way, but it did and well, dammit, too bad. Leonardo's face dropped into a frown.

"Yeah, you gotta come back, Leo." Michelangelo said as he scanned the destroyed gathering area, standing next to Donatello.

Leonardo rubbed his face. "I just needed . . . I needed to think."

Raphael sniffed again. Noticing the strange scent coming off his brother and recognizing it suddenly like a punch to the gut. His body stiffened.

"You needed to think. Is that what you've been doin'?" he accused as his anger rose. "Thinkin'? That what you call it?"

He stood up and Donatello took a step back. He and Michelangelo exchanged glances.

"We've been worried and you . . . you've been here…" he shook his head. "I can't believe this. Don't even tell me this." He turned and took two steps away, kicked a blackened board with a growl, breaking it in two, then turned back, hands fisted at his sides. His face was a mask of anguish.

"Don't even tell me you and-and that-that Foot soldier bitch . . .  _Dammit_ , Leo. Ugh, fuck it, I'm gonna be  _sick_."

* * *

Karai pulled the plastic bag off her cast and sighed in irritation. How much longer did she have to put up with this stupid thing, she wondered. Another trip to the medic in a day or so, but not today. She had plans for today. She ran the fingers of her good hand through her damp hair. She flipped open her laptop on her desk, scanned for any messages from her father. Only one, when he landed a day ago saying he arrived and reminding her to behave in his absence. She smirked.

"While the ninja's away..." she chuckled to herself.

As she exited the elevator, and walked across the reception area of their headquarters she passed a group of soldiers. They stopped talking and stared at her as she moved past them. She felt their eyes on her back, boring into her. Normally, she wouldn't have even noticed, but something in the air as she walked by bothered her.

" _Havin' fun, you sick little bitch?"_  someone whispered.

Karai stopped in her tracks. Her boots squeaked against the linoleum. She turned to the group. There were five of them. They stared at her defiantly. Karai glanced to the left. The blonde behind the reception desk sat boldly staring at her, another two guards leaned against the desk, arms folded, staring as well. She directed her gaze back to the group closest to her.

"What did you say to me?" she asked, feeling her fury rising as well as a crushing fear just behind it, threatening to eclipse it.

They stared in stony silence and Karai backed up slowly and turned and stormed away from them.  _How dare they?_ The dread in her stomach chased away her appetite. She wanted to get back to Leo.  _Run to him_ , her mind ordered. Back into the safety of his arms. But before leaving, she turned and made her way to the dojo. She needed to get something first.

* * *

"What?" Michelangelo asked, his face darted from Raphael's to Leonardo who turned his head and wouldn't look at them. He cleared his throat, feeling shame color his face. "What am I missing?"

"How could you do this? How can you be so  _stupid_?" Raphael's voice rose and cracked. He stormed towards Leonardo who stood up suddenly looking more and more ashamed and guilty. It only fanned the anger Raphael was feeling. Donatello moved in his path, blocking him.

"Raph," he said. "Calm down. We're supposed to be reasoning with him and hearing his side, remember?"

Raphael growled in frustration. He was heartbroken over what he saw as the fall of his leader. Leonardo should've been  _stronger_  than this,  _smarter_. He should've been able to see through the lies and deception. Raphael couldn't deal with this. It wasn't supposed to be this way.

Michelangelo looked confused. "What did you do, Leo?"

Donatello shook his head and glanced at his older brother over his shoulder. He hated seeing the guilt written on his face. He shouldn't feel guilty about this. This wasn't anything to be guilty about, he decided, feeling his anger rising.  _Why shouldn't he be happy if he got the chance?_  Was it really so wrong?

"He didn't do anything wrong," Donatello said angrily. Leonardo looked at him gratefully and their eyes met.  _I'm on your side_ , Donatello said silently with his eyes.

"Are you kiddin' me?" Raph cried, throwing his hands up.

He'd never say as much, but Leonardo was his hero. He looked up to him and respected him even more than he did Splinter. He'd fought and bled next to his brother, willingly and with pride; learned from him and stood next to him in battle and followed his commands, not always as smoothly as Leonardo may have liked, but that was just him keeping Leo on his toes. But this…this was so wrong. Leonardo was supposed to be better than this. He was supposed to be his anchor and his strength. To realize that he was weak and flawed just like the rest of them, that he could be fooled just like the rest of them, lead astray so easily, it made him physically ill.

"Splinter was right," Raphael spat at him. "You're a fuckin' fool, Leo! You're gonna get yourself butchered!"

"Lay off him, Raph. He hasn't done anything wrong," Donatello repeated and moved in front of Leonardo who stood speechless.

Raphael stepped forward and shoved Donatello. He stumbled back but righted himself. He grabbed his bo and held it in front of his chest.

Raphael eyed the staff, snorted and said, "Please," sarcastically.

Leonardo held up his bandaged hands. "Stop this." The last thing he wanted was his brothers fighting over his relationship.

"No," Donnie said angrily.

"What did he do?!" Michelangelo hollered suddenly. Everyone froze. The pigeons above fluttered nervously then settled down in the stretching silence.

"Tell him, Leo," Raph said casually.

Leonardo swallowed and paled. He ducked his head and lifted his chin, gathering his words and trying to push away the guilt and shame that nagged him.

"Karai and I, last night . . . we had . . . we . . . made love," he finished quietly and blushed deeply.

Michelangelo's eyes widened in understanding. His blue eyes darted from one brother to the next finally falling on Leonardo.

"Whoa. Leo, that is,  _seriously_ , stupid. What were you thinking?!"

Raphael snorted and shook his head feeling happy one of his brothers had sense. And also a little surprised that he'd ever think Mikey had sense.

"Mikey, it's none of our business. Give him a break."

"None of our business? Give  _me_  a break, Donnie. Karai is not April."

Donatello cringed and sighed in frustration. He really wished Mikey would stop throwing his heartache in his face. Michelangelo turned to Leonardo who saw his big blue eyes flash in anger, a rare sight for his little brother.

"How do you know this isn't a trap? How do you know she isn't playing you?"

Leonardo shook his head. "I just do. She isn't. Mikey, she . . . isn't," he insisted.

He wanted to tell them how it felt to be in her arms, how the love they shared overshadowed everything; how it blotted out any doubts or fears when she held him and gave herself to him, and he to her; how completely he trusted her now.

"But you  _don't_  really know. She's with the Foot Clan, our enemy, the people that want us dead. That's no secret." Michelangelo looked around. "She could be gathering soldiers together for an attack as we stand here yammerin'. I mean, if you had sex last night, where is she now?"

Leonardo swallowed, he couldn't answer because he really didn't know. The four of them glanced around, almost as if they were expecting to see her sound asleep under their feet. Not likely, but nothing seemed to make any sense anymore. A seed of doubt wiggled in the back of Leonardo's mind. A brief flash from his nightmare flickered before his mind's eye. The three of them, beaten, murdered and Splinter - Splinter's burned body, barely recognizable. His nervous heart fluttered.

"I'm right here."

"Karai," the relief in Leonardo's voice was plain and it hurt each of his brother's to hear it. The tone betrayed the truth to them that he didn't necessarily trust her as much as he claimed.

Four faces snapped to where Karai stood, hands on her hips, on a pile of debris. Her sword was in its saya on her belt, a bag of fast food breakfast clutched in one fist, looking ridiculously out of place. She jumped down off the pile and tossed the bag to Leonardo who caught it against his chest.

"Didn't know we were having company, otherwise I would've brought enough for everyone."

Raphael advanced on her and she held her ground. Though terrified of him, she didn't let it show. He was bulkier than Leonardo and much more intimidating since the day she found him as the lone victor against one of her father's elite soldiers. Her hand rested on the hilt of her ninja-ken and it trembled a little as he stopped only a foot away from her.

Though she'd showered, Raphael could still detect the scent of Leonardo on her.  _God, they really did have sex._  He wrinkled his nose, hating her even more for using Leonardo's weakness against him. Still feeling furious, but also protective of his older brother he brought his finger up, inches away from her face. Karai stood, holding her breath.

"I'm gonna say this once. Stay away from my brother."

She stared into his green eyes and saw only his complete hatred of her. She eyed the bulging muscles of his wide shoulders and arms and wondered if he attacked her then would Leo be quick enough to save her. She pushed away at her fear and jutted her chin out. Maybe she'd have to find out.

"Back off. Leonardo's a big boy." She paused, smirked, letting the implication sink in. Raphael's lip curled, a low growl rumbling up and out of him. "I think he can make his own decisions about who he stays close to. Isn't that right, lover?"

Leonardo cringed. She really wasn't helping. Raphael spun around.

"Leo, it's time to go home. Right now. Make up your mind. You comin' with us, your family, or are you staying with . . . her?"

"Raph, I . . . just need a little more -"

"Don't make it like that," Donatello snapped. "He can come home when he's ready."

"Shut the hell up, Donnie," Mikey barked at his brother and moved to stand near Raphael. Donatello stared at his little brother feeling hurt and angry. He slid his bo back into the straps on his back. "We need to know whose side he's on."

"Oh, this is rich, making him pick sides, what are we, children?" Karai said and moved around them, standing partially between the two sets of brothers. Her mood changed to a more serious note and she tilted her head, considering Leonardo. He looked hurt and torn and she wanted to slap him and comfort him at the same time.

"Well? What's it gonna be, Leo?" Raphael asked impatiently.

His face bounced from Leonardo who stood struggling to speak back to Karai who smirked at him. She crossed her arms and bent a knee, bringing one side of her hip higher than the other. Slowly she stepped through the debris and stood next to Leonardo, placed a hand on his shoulder.

Raphael shook his head, disbelieving what he was seeing. Leonardo's silence spoke volumes to him.

"This is stupid," Donatello said. "I'm going home. Leo, I'll be there when you're ready. I'll tell Splinter," he added.

"Yeah, what exactly are you gonna tell 'em? That his golden boy is a traitor?" He stomped over to Donatello and shoved him.

"Get off me." Donnie threw a punch and Raphael dodged easily.

Leonardo bristled. "Enough of this. I'm not a traitor. I would never –"

Raphael ignored Leonardo. "You wanna kill our father, Donnie? Just knowin' Leo had hearts for this bitch nearly broke 'em. When he finds out about this…" The look of pure disgust he gave Leo made Leonardo's shameful heart constrict. Anything else he went to say to Raphael died in his throat.

Raphael wanted to hit Leonardo right now more than anything. Knock some sense into that thick skull. His fists shook. But he didn't want to fight his brother in front of Karai. Didn't want to play any possible games she might be up to.

"You've made your choice." His voice came out rough and cracked. "I hope she doesn't cut your throat next time you're humpin' her. Though you'd deserve it."

He glared at Karai, feeling sick, wanting nothing more than to bury his sai in her smug face. "And this is probably all part of your fuckin' plan. We'll I ain't playin' no more." He turned. "Let's go, Mikey."

"Wait, guys..." Leonardo started to say miserably. Michelangelo glanced over his shoulder once then followed Donatello and Raphael out the side, disappearing into the light.

Leonardo sat down heavily. Karai struggled with a flurry of emotions. One stood out slightly from the anger, sadness, fear and defiance: triumph. Leonardo really was hers. She crouched next to him and rubbed his shoulders. It should've made her extremely happy. But something nagged her mind.

"Gah, what a mess."

Karai turned her focus from Leonardo's family drama to her own and her mind went to the soldiers from earlier. They knew. And that meant her father would soon know if he didn't already.

"I think it's about to get worse for us, Leo," she said quietly, chuckling an ironic, breathy laugh and leaned her cheek against his shoulder. Leonardo turned to her, eyes wary and fearful. She trembled and Leonardo wrapped his arm around her.

"It's going to be okay, Karai," he promised and kissed her forehead gently.

She closed her eyes and wished it were true with all her heart, but knew something terrible loomed just beyond their sight.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you like it so far? Remember, I'm not exactly following canon as far as timelines go, this is just my version. Love to hear from you! Thanks for the kudos, comments and follows! Xo


	14. Facing the Truth

_'There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.' –Jean Anouilh_

* * *

 

The flight had been long. It gave him the time he needed to consider the message he'd received from his soldier. Karai had gone out and was seen with a young man, some boy most likely her own age, in a hoodie and boots, spending the day with him throughout the city. They were last seen in Central Park. Saki rubbed his eyes and stared once more at the text he'd received late last night and decoded.

 _'Delicate and Sensitive material. Critical to be received in person. Request for your_   _immediate return to NY.'_

What could she have done to warrant such an urgent and cryptic message? He saw Karai's defiance and stubborn traits as an indicator of her inner strength. Though he found it crucial to temper her wild side with discipline and order, he admitted to himself that these traits, while irritating, would serve her well when he was gone. She was to inherit an empire that expanded over the globe and still grew more every year. But there were times when he'd wondered if his legacy would survive better if given to one of his more devoted elite guards. He sighed deeply and wished not for the first time that he'd had a son.

From an inner pocket, Saki pulled out an antique golden pocket watch. With a click he opened it. He stared at the picture of the young woman with the lovely dark eyes and long ebony hair inside. Karai had those same eyes. Her eyes. That fact had stayed his hand many times. Karai was so much like her, that wild, defiant girl he'd met eighteen years ago. He blinked slowly, feeling the tide of sorrow for his lost love rise up with the painful memories from his past.

It had only been three years past that he'd lost Tang Shen to the fire the night of his fight with Yoshi. Saki was focused on making his small, but growing clan of Foot soldiers into an international force to be feared. Shiori caught his eye during a business meeting with her father. A man who funded many of the dojos and recruitment centers for the Foot Clan cropping up throughout the cities of Japan. She was beautiful but more than that, she was intelligent and ambitious, wild and defiant. The fire of their passion was immediate and mutual. She was the only person who'd brought him a taste of happiness and helped free him from the pain of losing his past love, Tang Shen.

Twelve years later, his plan to be by her side during the birth of a much anticipated and long sought after son had been destroyed when Splinter's wretched turtles infiltrated a simple meeting to barter a truce between the warring street gangs of New York with the Foot Clan. Instead of being on the flight to Tokyo, he was caught in a furious battle with the mutant freaks. He missed his son's birth and was not there when complications took his wife. The MDs and nurses could not resuscitate his newborn, stillborn, son. And so, thanks again to Yoshi, Saki found himself alone in the world again, alone aside from Karai, their first born child.

Saki shifted in his seat, closing the watch and returning to his pocket. The temperamental wild child was all he had left of a family and he would not let his legacy fall to pieces in her hands. He would succeed in molding her into his proper heir. But first, he needed to learn of her latest transgression and see to eradicating anything that might mar her future succession as leader of the Foot Clan.

The pilot announced their arrival and landing in the city was imminent.

* * *

Raphael was a bundle of raw nerves as the three of them walked through the tunnels back to their home. Every now and then he'd punch the side of the wall or kick at a pipe and curse. He seemed to be in a perpetual loop of anger and denial.

"Can't fuckin' believe this!"

Michelangelo just kept shaking his head as though he were having a silent argument inside his head, either that or he was agreeing with Raphael's anger and disgust.

Donatello felt shaken and a bit nauseous as he wondered where this path was taking them all to. Everything felt upended and surreal. Leonardo had been  _intimate_  with Karai and where was that going to lead him? Would he leave his family and go live somewhere with her? Donatello knew if he'd been presented with that option he wouldn't hesitate, but his older brother was a different story. He just couldn't picture Leonardo taking off. It wasn't in his nature to walk away from his brothers and father. And yet, he was torn. That much was plain. If Splinter had only listened to him explain instead of losing his temper…Donatello shook his head.

Raphael eventually quieted down to stony silence and the three of them were left to their thoughts. Eventually, all of them considered the astounding fact that Karai had been intimate with their brother. Something none of them, especially Raphael, thought was ever even a possibility for them.

Every time the thought struck him, he felt his rage boil up. He wasn't mad at the fact that Leonardo had…had…he couldn't even finish the thought. It was the fact that Karai had  _seduced_  his older sibling. Seduced him and tricked him and he  _fell_  for it.  _She had sex with Leo to deceive him_. The thought made his stomach and head hurt. No girl would want to be like  _that_  with one of them. Especially not someone working for the Foot.  _That bitch!_  Raphael punched the brick wall with the side of his fist in frustration. How did Leo not see this was all a trap? He groaned. When this all fell apart Leo was going to be crushed.  _Crushed! If he isn't captured and butchered first._  And there wasn't anything he could do. He clenched his fists.

"Fuck if there isn't," he said to himself stubbornly. He wasn't about to give up just yet.

Michelangelo could only picture what he'd seen in a few movies and he just couldn't believe that Leonardo, his big brother, could make himself that vulnerable to a girl, let alone a Foot soldier. Mister Responsibility and Honor Code of Justice could not have opened himself up to her like that without being drugged or something. There was no way. He shook his head again.  _No way._  Then again, superheroes did sometimes fall for girls…and sometimes even bad girls, like  _Catwoman_ …he frowned, confused.

Donatello's thoughts were a befuddled mix of happiness for his brother's experience and regrets and missed opportunity for himself. What had April wanted from him? How could he have done things better? It all seemed so possible in the beginning. She seemed so interested in him. What did he do wrong? Could he have ever won her affection? Donatello walked on, sighing heavily. These circular thoughts that haunted him most every night since she started seeing Casey, the Neanderthal, were nothing new. He'd almost believed Raph when he explained (so calmly for him) that humans would never see them in a romantic way. It just wasn't a possibility for them. He wanted to believe it to make the pain lessen. But now…Karai and Leo…in a way, it made things worse for Donatello.

They paused at the entrance of the lair, exchanging gloomy looks as they emerged from their personal thoughts. Raphael pushed open the doorway and they entered the lair to find Splinter standing in the center of the living room, waiting for them.

"My sons," he said, "you have been with Leonardo?"

Donatello walked past him into the kitchen and rummaged about looking for the coffee and a filter. He needed caffeine. Now. Raphael rubbed the back of his neck and stalled, mumbling non-words. Michelangelo walked near Splinter and sat heavily on the couch. The worn springs squeaked loudly in protest.

"Leo had sex with Karai," he said bluntly.

They heard something crash in the kitchen and Donatello stumbled out, his face going everywhere at once.

" _Mikey_!" Raphael yelled. He looked quickly from his brother to his father who stood clutching the top of his cane and for all the world looked like he was about to keel over on the spot. Raphael rushed over to him and eased him towards the couch. He shot Michelangelo a glare that would have obliterated anyone else. Michelangelo folded his arms and stared back at him.

"He needs to know what's going on," he said simply. "It sucks being the one left in the dark."

"Tea, let me get him some tea," Donatello said and rushed back into the kitchen.

Raphael crouched on the floor next to his father. Both of his hands held on the edge of the armrest of the chair.

"Dammit, Mikey, what did I tell Donnie back at the church?" he hissed.

Michelangelo shrugged. "He needs to know the truth."

Splinter moved a shaking hand over his face and shook his head sadly. His ears held flat against his skull.

"Is this true?" he asked quietly. "They have consummated their relationship?"

Donatello set the tea on the battered coffee table in front of Splinter. He turned and sat next to Michelangelo. The silence stretched out. The anxiety and fear gnawed at them.

"Yes, Splinter," Donatello finally answered.

"How can you be sure?" he asked them, his hopeful eyes darted between his sons. "Could you be mistaken?"

Raphael's shoulders slumped. "Nah, he told us, straight out. Last night."

He didn't want to explain the fact that Leonardo had Karai's scent all over him; the guilty look on the moron's face. He felt like he was going to be sick. The expression on Splinter's face only made everything worse. Raphael patted Splinter gently on the arm. He silently prayed that Splinter wasn't about to have a heart attack or a stroke or something. Wouldn't that just be perfect? How would Leo feel about that, he wondered. Serve him right if he died from the guilt. He glared at Michelangelo who ignored him. He owed Mikey a beating, too, but it would have to wait.

"How could this have happened?" Splinter asked no one in particular.

There was a moment of silence.

"You're kidding, right?" Donatello said slowly. His voice trembled with barely concealed rage.

Raphael stood. "Donnie," he said, warning him.

Donatello ignored him, plowed on, his anger rising and he felt control slipping. His brown eyes flashed.

"How could this have  _happened_?" he repeated. A smile spread across his face and it was vicious. "You're going to sit there and act  _surprised_?! That stupid duel you made him do? Ripping his mask off his face because he didn't want to hear you tell him to  _kill_  the woman he  _loves_?"

Donatello stood up as Raphael hastily crossed the room towards him. Donatello's hands were in shaking fists. He never raised his voice to Splinter. Not once. Not ever. But this was too much. This hypocrisy was making his blood boil.

"And now you're surprised he found some comfort with her? What choice did he  _have_? Stay here and continue to grovel at your feet?! Sensei, you pushed him right into her arms."

Raphael grabbed Donatello by the strap and yanked him close to his face with a growl. He couldn't believe what he was hearing from his usually passive and obedient brother. Splinter stared at him in stunned silence. Michelangelo jumped to his feet.

"Shut up! This isn't  _Splinter's_  fault! You can't blame Splinter for this. He was just trying to knock some sense into Leo! Karai's messed with Leo's mind and now everything's gone crazy and Leo's gonna get killed!"

Donatello opened his mouth, his face was titled away from Raphael's. Raphael shook him roughly.

"Not another word outta you," Raphael growled into Donatello's face.

Donatello pushed Raphael's hands off him. They scuffled a bit, then broke free. Donatello huffed and glared at them all in turn. He pointed at Splinter.

"You know I'm right. You had your chance to reason with him." Donatello's voice cracked and his expression dropped the anger and now held only anguish, "If you would've just let him talk –"

Before he could continue Raphael tackled him to the floor. He started punching him in the face.

"I told ya," he growled between blows, "not - another - word!"

Donatello twisted and knocked Raphael off him. They jumped to their feet and circled each other. Donatello swung at him; Raphael blocked. He turned his hips and landed a side kick into Raph's middle; he blocked, but not without taking in some of the impact. He fell back a few steps with a grunt. Donatello wiped his bottom lip. He glanced at the back of his hand and saw blood.

"Enough!" Splinter's voice boomed around them. They stopped, panting, fists dropping to their sides. "Donatello, you are correct."

Donatello blinked in surprise. Michelangelo and Raphael exchanged stunned glances.

"Partially correct," Splinter amended. "I should have allowed Leonardo the freedom to voice his perspective on the situation. But my anger and fear for my son's  _life_  overwhelmed my reason." He stopped, put a hand over his heart and took a deep breath. "Because of that . . . mistake on my part . . . your brother may be in more danger than ever."

Michelangelo shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Now that he and Karai . . . have been intimate . . . he will trust her without question."

He let the implications sink in.

Donatello blinked and swayed on his feet, still a bit dazed from the blows to his head; still stubbornly holding on to the notion that Leonardo wasn't in any danger at all because he was in love and that love was reciprocated by Karai. Therefore, Karai meant no harm to his brother. Their relationship should be left to fate at this point.

Michelangelo still believed that somehow Karai had managed to trick his older brother or used some type of ninja magic or drug to make him do what she wanted. There was no way that his oldest brother could've fallen in love with a girl who was on the enemy's side. Just wasn't possible. Though a small seed of doubt began to take root in his mind.

Raphael stared at the floor, breathing heavily. He knew Leonardo better than any of his brothers, maybe more than Splinter at this point. He now had no doubt that his brother had fallen deeply in love with Karai. He saw it on Leo's face; in his eyes. Truthfully, he didn't blame him, if some girl was willing to…be like that with him, he'd probably lose his mind too. He also knew being in love, Leo was blind to the danger surrounding him because Karai was in league with their mortal enemy, the Foot Clan.

Raphael understood now, clearly, that he needed to take responsibility and save his big brother from himself before he got seriously hurt or worse. He wondered if this was how Leo felt all the time when dealing with him.

Splinter's voice broke the silence. "I will meditate on the correct course of action. I think we will go to him, tonight, but for now, I must consider what it is I wish to say to him, and you must do the same. Donatello, as you said, we… _I_ …have pushed him away from us and punished him enough for something he could not control."

* * *

In the corner of his suite, in the New York headquarters of the Foot Clan, Shredder sat before his computer; the flickering images reflected off the steel mask covering the bottom half of his scarred face. His eyes burned but he did not blink. The edges of his vision turned black then red, but he did not blink. His hands curled into fists on the top of the desk. His breath shallow, then stopping altogether as the video revealed his daughter and the leader of his mortal enemies consummating their clandestine relationship. He heard her voice call out the wretch's name. His blood turned to ice and the world was swallowed by a red haze. The video went black and still Shredder did not blink at the screen.

The elite guard stood behind him. Hands folded behind his back, awaiting word of what was to be done. His heart hammered in his chest, fearing his master's reaction to the graphic images of his daughter he'd delivered.

"Who knows of this?" His voice was gravel against broken glass.

"N-No one, Master Shredder," the soldier lied.

Shredder stood up slowly from his chair. He turned and placed a hand on his guard's shoulder. The guard felt the burning of his master's flesh seep through his uniform.

"No one."

"H-Hai."

In a swift move, Shredder took his hand from the soldier's shoulder and plunged the spiked gauntlet into his side. The man cried out and crumpled, grasping as the blood spilled in a river down his hip to his thigh.

"M-Master," he choked and fell to his knees.

The Shredder pounced on him and plunged the blades on his knuckles into the man's body again and again and again as he screamed in rage. Two soldiers rushed into the room, stopping abruptly at the scene before them. Shredder stood up, blood running in thick streams off the end of the spiked blades, and advanced on them. They backed up, palms out. Shredder swung his right arm out and gutted the soldier on his right, his entrails spilling between the man's hands as he grappled to hold them against him and fell to his knees, then forward onto his face. The blood and gore staining the Persian carpet beneath where he lay still. As the second soldier turned to flee, Shredder plunged his spikes into his back. The man squealed in fright and pain. The Shredder leapt onto him, ripping and tearing him apart as he screamed out his agony and rage.

Minutes passed and a group of soldiers rushed into the room, weapons out. Their footsteps stopping immediately and they gave a collective gasp as they took in the carnage before them. The Shredder stood, breathing heavy, covered in gore and blood. He turned and stormed towards his private bathroom.

"Clear this mess," he ordered over his shoulder.

He felt only marginally better, but the red haze had passed and his mind was clear once again. There was no way that this news hadn't traveled throughout his organization, despite the lie he was fed from the guard. The clever and cunning wheels in his mind turned.

The Foot Clan would not stand for this treachery. Everything he'd worked so hard to build, the years of sacrifice and careful planning would be undone. Indeed, the fracture had already started. He felt it as soon as he stepped foot inside the building. He could not stop this wildfire from spreading throughout his clan and they would want Karai to answer for it with her blood. He had to fix this; somehow; there had to be a way to make it right; for his foolish daughter's future and his own legacy to survive.

He removed the blood spattered mask from his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror.  _Why Karai? Why did you do this to me? You damn, foolish girl. Why did you choose_ _ **him**_ _, when you could've had anyone? I would have given you anything, anyone you wanted. Why choose the leader of our sworn enemies? A **freak**  and a  **monster**?_

Shredder dropped his face into his trembling, blood soaked hand. His stomach churned as the images of his daughter riding that freak replayed in his mind. He turned and stumbled to his knees to the toilet as his stomach violently spilled their contents. When the spasms ended, he sat back on his heels, gasping. He would fix this. He had no choice if he wanted his daughter to survive and control the massive force of the Foot Clan when he was gone.

They had to respect her. They had to fear her.

* * *

The hours had passed with Karai listening to Leonardo trying to figure out how he could convince his family that she was no threat to him or them. There had to be a way to work things out. He was determined. His determination impressed and bored her at the same time. Aside from a few snide comments, Karai mostly let Leo work out his plans without interruption. Finally, she shushed him.

"Leo."

Karai moved and sat in front of him. She took his bandaged right hand gently in hers and turned it palm up. He looked at her with those deep blue eyes. They were full of questions.

"I want to give you something. But only if you want it."

A twinkle of playful mischief and something close to lust danced in his eyes.

"No, nothing like that, get your mind out of the gutter," she laughed. She reached into a small pouch on her belt and pulled out a small pen-like item and bottle of ink. Then she unwrapped his wrist.

"Can I? It would be very small."

Leonardo looked at her face. Her beautiful face.  _I trust you_ , he said with his eyes, felt it in his heart sure as it beat. He blinked and nodded. Then he watched her as she carefully tattooed a small black symbol onto the inside of his right wrist, off to one side, no larger than an inch. When she was done, she leaned down and kissed the inside of his palm. A shiver passed through him as he felt her soft lips make contact with his flesh. She sat back on her heels. He examined the tattoo; black against his green flesh; the Japanese symbol for the letter 'K'. Her eyes went up to his.

"So you remember me, always."

"Karai," he pulled her close, wrapped his arms around her, "you live in my dreams, in my mind and my heart. I couldn't forget you if I tried," he whispered.

"Of course, but . . . in case of something . . . if something should happen, Leo . . . and we…"

Her words were coming out broken and not making sense. She looked away from him, frustrated. She couldn't seem to voice her growing fright, despite the fact that she felt it running rampant in her mind. She needed to tell him that the Foot Clan knew of their relationship. She needed to warn him about the strange confrontation she had in the lobby; that her father would soon learn about them.  _Then what?_  She trembled; couldn't think about it.

Karai opened her mouth but before she could speak, Leonardo brought his mouth to her lips, ending any attempts to voice her fear, one hand brushed against her cheek. As he kissed her the worries slipped away and her mind only focused on him and her sharp, sudden desire for his protective and loving touch. Gently, he laid her back onto the pillows, kissing her deeply, then urgently; pulling at her uniform and sliding it free from her shoulders. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be carried away with his tender kisses and caressing.

Their troubles and fears dissolved and were replaced by their tender passion. For now, it was enough to block out the world.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed my little addition to Shredder's hatred of the turtles. I like my bad guys with a bit more depth to them. To recap: While Yoshi was in NY raising four little mutant turtles, what was Saki up to? In my version, this one at least, Karai is in fact his biological daughter and her mother died giving birth to what would have been a baby brother when Karai was 13 (the turtles being 15 at the time of the battle that keeps Saki from her side) Karai would have been squirreled away at that awful school/training center. I have a hell of a time with time lines. I hate math. But hopefully it makes sense, lol. Reviews and thoughts are appreciated. :D
> 
> I love you people. Seriously. Next chapter is gonna be a wild ride. Karai and Leo have had their moments of loving peace, now for reality to ruin everything...Hold on...


	15. The Voice of Fear

* * *

She felt him still trembling against her as they lay together, catching their breath and listening to the sound of their racing hearts and the doves cooing above them; the distant sounds of the city were muffled and seemed far away. Karai couldn't suppress a smile at his nervous shaking. She knew he probably hated the reaction and that he was helpless to make it stop only endeared him to her more. Her arms hung around his shoulders, resting at the top of his shell. She stroked the side of his face as he lay with his cheek pressed against her chest. He nuzzled closer, breathing in her scent, savoring it. Then to her surprise she heard him chuckle. A soft sound; a short breathy movement of air against her flesh. She blinked.

"Something funny?"

He pulled away from her; moved to one side of her body and with a bent elbow, propped his head up. He looked into her face, his expression only serious. He took a breath and let it out, dropped his eyes then raised them back to hers.

"It's just . . . I can't believe . . . you…" his words trailed off. He shook his head as if chasing away the thought. Karai studied his eyes and they looked afraid or maybe . . . sad to her.

The afternoon was fading into evening around them. The shadows stretched around them and deepened. The burnt faces of the broken saints stared into the dust motes twirling in the dimming beams of light reaching in through the crevices and broken spaces through the walls. There was no one here to judge them, or their love, but themselves.

"Leo," she said, the question left hanging in the air around them.

"I . . . just . . . don't understand why you . . .  _nevermind_ , it's nothing," he added quickly.

His mind finished the thought,  _Why are you here with me, like this? I'm a freak. Why do you love me?_  He shook his head again quickly. He didn't even want to think the questions, let alone give them a voice. Didn't want to hear her reasons for being with him. It didn't matter. Only the fact of her giving herself to him mattered.  _She loves me, that's why,_ his mind insisted.  _But why does she love me?_  The doubtful voice rose like a snake, slithering in between his confidence and trust. Michelangelo's question rose up.  _What if she's playing you?_  He cleared his throat suddenly and folded his arms so that his chin rested inside the hollow space. He peered at her over his arms. He needed to change his train of thought.

"I have to go back. I've had enough time away to think. And I need to talk to him. To Splinter."

Karai nodded. She understood; time to face their fathers, but it didn't quell the fear that rose inside her like an evil, icy thing crawling its way up her spine to her throat. Pieces of her nightmare fluttered past her mind's eye, taunting her, just out of reach of comprehension. It left a dry dead taste in the back of her mouth. She licked her lips. Sitting up, she began to roughly pull her uniform back on. She yanked her boots on and stood.

He watched her silently from where he lay. Taking in and reading her body language and rigid movements. She shrugged at him; shook her head.

"Then go," she said and her voice came out clipped and cold.

He raised up on to his elbow; reached out to her and snagged her fingers with his hand as she turned away. She shifted; looked at him; his face so open and fearful suddenly. She glanced down, saw the tattoo of her initial on his wrist. She softened her gaze as their eyes met. She saw the fear dissolve a bit as his shoulders eased and he relaxed.

"Karai, I'll see you tomorrow night," he promised and his voice was soft and sweet and full of affection.

She forced a smile which didn't quite meet her eyes. A soft frown of worry played around the edges of Leonardo's eyes. Her heart felt leaden as it beat inside her chest. The feeling of doom was nearly suffocating her and she found she couldn't speak. Her throat felt hot and tight. If her father indeed knew of their relationship, she would never see him again.  _He'll kill me,_  she thought as a wisp of the nightmare came to her only to fade just as quickly. Leonardo could not protect her from this fate. It was something she had to face on her own. She understood that.

She also understood that if Leonardo even suspected that she was in danger, he wouldn't let her go. That he'd do something brave and stupid and ultimately, tragic. She squeezed his fingers and he released her. He watched her, unsure; he sat up. She brought her fingers that he had been holding to her lips and blew him a kiss as she backed up, out from the alcove; memorizing every aspect of his strange and beautiful face. She heard him repeat as she slipped out over the debris of the church.

"Tomorrow night."

* * *

As Karai hurried from the church, tears blurred her vision. Her mind raced along with her heart. Maybe there was a way to avoid this. Maybe she could slip in, gather her belongings and just…disappear! She could still see Leonardo. They could work something out, different places; different times to meet. Maybe somewhere outside the city.

She paid no heed to her surroundings until it was much too late. The fully armed figure of her father seemed to materialize out from thin air directly in front of her; her feet stumbled and she slammed into him. She couldn't help the short scream of fright that burst from her lips as he grabbed her by the upper arms in a painful, vice-like grip.

* * *

Leonardo's face darted up from where he sat when he heard the shout of fear. His heart immediately began to hammer as he rushed through the shattered glass and over the fallen and crushed pews and boards towards the sound of her scream. The sound pierced him like a physical spike.

_Karai, I'm coming!_

There was no time to think. He brought his knees up and leapt gracefully over a pile of debris as the walls around him erupted in an explosion of writhing, living shadows. The Foot soldiers poured through every crevice and opening, crashing through and destroying the structure as they fell on him. Furiously and with otherworldly speed, they came at him from all angles.

Unarmed, Leonardo fell into a defensive posture, ducking and blocking as best as he could with his forearms and legs, until after what seemed like hours, the tide of fists and boots and blades and bo staffs grew unmanageable and the pain and fatigue caused him to lose his footing. He stumbled and fell backwards over and on top of the burnt debris cluttering the area around his feet. They brought their blows down on top of him as he went. Suddenly, his vision went black as a bag was pulled over his head. He struggled blindly; his only thought focused on fighting his way out, somehow, somehow, to her.

 _Was she okay?_   _Was she –?_

A bright flash of excruciating pain as something slammed against his temple. His struggling body fell limp and still.

* * *

Splinter followed Raphael out of the manhole cover. Michelangelo handed him his cane. He stood up and creaked his back then shook his entire body as the cool evening air struck him. It felt so good! His fur fluffed out and his three sons stifled their laughter.

"I have to come topside with you more often, my sons." He smiled at them in turn, amber eyes twinkling.

"C'mon, the church is right through this industrial park," Raphael said as he took the lead.

They walked in silence, creeping along the shadows when they thought they detected the sound of people moving. It came from somewhere along the other side of the large storage facility that they moved behind. Splinter listened attentively with his head cocked to one side; his ears twitched as they flicked and turned. Donatello made to move when Splinter laid a claw on his arm and shook his head, making him stop.

"I hear people moving," he spoke low so that the brothers had to strain their ears to hear him.

"Maybe some kids screwing around?" Michelangelo asked.

"Or workers changing shifts?" Donatello suggested.

Splinter only frowned, sitting with his head cocked. A strange sinking feeling began to pull at his insides. Slowly he raised his eyes to meet Raphael's, whose face was pulled into a frown of concentration. Disbelief worked its way over his features as Splinter's ears folded back and down against his head. Something was wrong.

"Ah, no. Leo, you bonehead." Raphael came to his feet. He turned and began to run towards the church, his brothers and father close behind.

In minutes it loomed before them, a dark silhouette in the deepening purple, orange and reds of the sky behind it. Raphael's feet faltered, his fear rose up before him making an invisible shield between him and the entrance; he paused as he pushed back the terrible images creeping into the corners of his mind.  _Leo's still in there, he has to be._  Everything about the place suddenly seemed surreal and ominous. He swallowed as the others caught up to him.

Splinter moved around him, his eyes darting about their feet. He crouched down and ran a claw across an imprint in the rough ground. Many footprints dug into the gravel and dirt at their feet. His nose twitched.

"I'll check inside," Donatello said, his voice barely above a whisper. He darted around the side, his staff in his hands. Fear pushing him forward rather than gluing him to the spot as it had to Raphael.  _He's okay, he's okay._  He disappeared into the opening. With quick silent exchanges, they followed him.

"Leo?" Raph called as he entered. His voice harsh and low. "Leo? You here?"

He couldn't help but call out to him, despite knowing in his gut that he wasn't there. Michelangelo helped Splinter climb over and then slide down a pile of broken statue pieces and wood. Donatello stood in the center of the chaotic mess, his bo hanging limply from fingers that had gone numb. Breathing heavily they took in the damage and the story it told them; the shattered remains of glass and broken walls where they had burst through; the splintered shrapnel of lumber that remained of what were once pews where they had fought and struggled; the crumbled statues; the blood.

"We-we are too late, my sons," Splinter said and they turned to him as he collapsed in a heap.

"Splinter!"

Raphael and Michelangelo were closest to him. They fell on him and pulled him upright. Michelangelo grabbed his cane and held it to his chest as Raphael patted the side of their father's face.

"Is he okay?" Michelangelo asked fearfully.

"What do we do?" Raphael stared at Donatello who still stood in frozen denial of what he was seeing before him. "Donnie, what do we do?"

He snapped out of his daze and moved towards them. He checked Splinter's pulse.

"It-It's just the stress, I think. I think he just passed out."

"What about Leo?" Michelangelo asked. His eyes lit up suddenly. "What about his shell cell!"

Slowly, Donatello pulled something from his belt.

"Tell me that's yours," Raph said quietly. Donatello shook his head and produced a second phone. " _Dammit._ What are you doin' with his cell?"

"He . . . didn't take it with him the day he and Splinter . . . fought."

Raphael closed his eyes against the fury and frustration that was building and threatening to make him lash out in a blind rage. He took a slow and steady breath in and let it out slowly between gritted teeth. This wasn't anyone's fault. He glanced down at his father in his arms.

_Check that. This was all Leonardo's fault. That dumbass! Okay, think, Raph._

"Okay, let's get Splinter home, then we'll come back and find out what we can about where they took Leo."

Donatello and Michelangelo nodded once. Raphael stood, cradling the softly breathing Splinter gently in his bulky arms. He huffed as they moved quickly out of the church back into the night.

Okay, that's a plan. They knew who had their brother, that bitch, Karai. He knew it. She was gonna pay for this.  _That conniving little whore._  He knew it was a trap all along. God, they have him now. Just as he and Splinter predicted. There was no satisfaction in being right. The bitter anger and icy fear dogged him as he moved through the tunnels. They had to get to Leonardo before his other prediction of him being butchered came true. With a shudder, Raphael pushed away the grim thought and plowed on. He clenched his jaw. No, they'd find him and get his stupid ass home.  _That's the plan._

Donatello emerged to his left as they jogged through the water. He glanced at Raphael.

"Y-You were right." He glanced over his shoulder at Michelangelo. "You both were. About Karai. She-She isn't April. I shouldn't have . . . I shouldn't have supported him. I wasn't thinking . . . I was caught up in my own crap. I'm -"

"Save it, genius. No one blames you. Leo got himself into this long before any of us pushed him one way or the other," he said gruffly and shifted Splinter in his arms a bit.

"But still…"

"Save it," Raph snapped.

* * *

The sound of movement, shuffling boots on squeaking floors, and muffled voices made their way through the haze as Leonardo came to. Thinking was hard.

_Where? What happened?_

His head swam and throbbed and wave after wave of nausea rolled through him with each movement. He couldn't see anything. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear his vision before he realized there was something covering his head. The fabric rubbed against his cheeks. A bag! He then became aware that he was being dragged forward by his elbows. Panic speared through him and he started to struggle weakly, his muscles uncoordinated and shaking and he remembered the blow that took him down.

The sound of a large door opening came to him and he was suddenly pushed forward and falling face first. He twisted, trying to bring his hands up but they were bound behind his shell. He fell with a grunt, skidding forward until his head slammed against something metal. Cold air hit him and he scrambled clumsily to turn and sit up, his legs kicking out, blindly, trying to hit out at who had him.

He rose up on one thigh, when he did the nausea swept through him and he swayed to the left only to feel a fist slam into the side of his head knocking him back to the right and down again onto his side. Stars swirled in his vision and he tasted blood. He felt someone clip a handcuff to his wrist then heard the metallic snap of the other end being connected to something metal. He swung his covered head about trying to get his bearing. The motion only made him sick and increased the pain in his temple.

He felt the top of the bag being grabbed and in one rough pull it was yanked off his head. Bright light blinded him and he blinked furiously trying to clear his vision. The sight before him swam, doubling and tripling until it came into sudden sharp focus. Foot soldiers backing up away from him through an open, narrow doorway. He frowned as the large metal door slammed shut and leaving him alone in the dim blue light.

His breath fogged in front of him and he tried to slow it down. He needed to concentrate on where he was. He glanced around, seeing metal shelves. He was in some type of closet?  _No, not a closet. I'm not that lucky._  He blinked and panted, taking in the surroundings better now that his eyes readjusted to the light. His body shivered as the cold seeped up through his legs. With a sinking feeling he realized where he was: a walk-in freezer.

 _Splinter was right,_ the dread voice whispered at the edge of his mind and he stubbornly pushed it away, trying to focus on the bindings around his wrists.

 _It was a ploy to catch you off guard and it worked like a charm_ , the voice insisted.

He ignored it. With a grunt, he pulled at the ropes and felt the knot loosening. Before long the rope fell free, he sighed in relief, but he was still handcuffed to a metal leg of a steel shelf that was bolted to the floor. He twisted and pulled but the cuff wouldn't budge.

_You're a fool._

He tried again and felt the metal start to bite into his flesh. He stopped, breathing heavy, fighting the rising panic back. The cold was making his already pounding head hurt more. His toes were going numb and his fingers began to feel thick and clumsy. He yanked at the handcuff again and a stream of blood trickled over the back of his hand. The thick chain stayed intact. The shelf didn't move an inch.

_Karai played you._

_"No!"_  he shouted. With the side of his fist he punched the shelf just above where he was cuffed. The corners of his eyes burned. His chest heaved; heart pounded.

 _She loves me. It's just fear talking_ , he thought stubbornly. Leonardo rested his forehead against the leg of the shelf, his eyes slowly blinked and they focused on the tattoo on the inside of his wrist.

"Just fear talking," he repeated quietly out loud and his body shivered and his breath fogged in a little cloud in front of his face.


	16. Conversing with the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn towards the nightmarish for our hero when the Shredder confronts him with the 'Truth'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some scenes of torture below. You've been warned. Buckle up, pups.

 

* * *

 _"That wasn't blood. It was love. It pours out of you when you lose faith." -_  Debra Anastasia, Crushed Seraphim

* * *

 

Gripping her by the back of her head, his fist tangled in her hair; pulling painfully, Shredder dragged Karai to the awaiting car and flung her inside. She collapsed to the floor, holding her head and whimpering as he got in and the vehicle pulled away.

"You've made quite a mess of things, daughter," he said, the fury giving his voice that timber that she had long ago learned to fear. "But, as fate would have it, you have a father who is willing to make it right once more."

She panted and stared at him from the crook of her elbow. Her tears spilling down her cheeks and her heart hammering in her chest as she tried to pull herself together. The car stopped and she scrambled out in front of him. Before Karai could get too far, he grabbed her clothes by the shoulder and ushered her through the building to the elevator then half-dragged her into his suite. He threw her to the floor and walked around to stand in front of her. Karai pushed herself up by her hands, staring at the rug beneath her fingers, vaguely taking note that this was a new rug.

"I would have an explanation from you."

She raised her eyes to him; those eyes; so much like her mother's. She opened her mouth but only a broken gasp that was more of a frightful sob broke free. Shredder closed his eyes briefly, blocking out the rising red tide filling him. He turned from her. He removed his helmet and threw it to the desk standing behind them. It bounced and rolled to one side, knocking paper and pens over as it did. He strode over to it and leaned against the corner, bracing himself with two hands. The top of the desk creaked with his weight. With a deep breath he steadied the rising mix of anger and disgust that was threatening to move him to violence against her.

With his head turned to one side, "Why do this? Why bring such shame to our family?" he asked quietly. The image of his daughter writhing on top of the mutant sprang into his mind and he lost his tenuous grip on control. He spun around, his stomach churning, hands in shaking fists.

 _"Why!?"_   he shouted, his voice booming through the room making her flinch and cower. He advanced on her, stooped, picked her up by her upper arms and shook her violently. Her toes brushed against the floor, barely making contact. Her head snapped back and forth like a rag doll in his grip.

 _"Answer me!"_  he screamed in her face now.

"I-I . . .  _love . . . him,_ " She sobbed out the words between her gasps and his shaking her.

His body went cold as the words struck him. It was as if time had slowed to a crawl and he was inside someone else's skin; living someone else's nightmare. How did this happen? Was he so careless that he assumed all of this was some sort of rebellious phase that would pass? That her encounter with the freak was nothing more than an ill-conceived search for thrills; a sexual experiment born out of (disgusting) but natural curiosity; but no. His heart sank as he saw the truth in her eyes.  _She feels something for the beast._  How could he have missed this?

His stomach turned and he tasted bile in the back of his throat. Things were spiraling out of his control, but he would regain mastery of the situation. There was little in the world out of his reach and control. He would end this. He'd restore the respect of their family and secure her future as leader of the Foot Clan. He would end this, and set his daughter straight. With another abrupt shake, he brought her face close to his.

"No, that isn't true," he whispered looking into her eyes as though denying her feelings would make them cease to exist.

He took a breath, his fingers tightening around her arms. "No, Karai," he repeated. His voice was now smooth and eerily calm, "He . . .  _It . . ._ is a freak of nature turned against us, your  _family_. It is our enemy and…" he slowed his speech to make her hear every syllable, "…is nothing more than an animal."

He watched in disbelief as she shook her head stubbornly then and jutted her chin out; bottom lip trembling as more tears spilled down her reddened cheeks.

"You'd never understand," she whispered. She took a ragged breath and her voice trembled, "Leonardo is . . . so . . .  _so much more_."

The blow knocked her unconscious and Shredder dropped her to the rug in a heap as he fell to his knees next to her. He screamed out his rage to the ceiling above.

* * *

Raphael moved a pile of debris, his eyes scanning the telltale signs of the struggle his brother fought through. He clenched his jaw and fought back the panic dancing along the edges of his mind. He had to think, he had to stay calm.

Near Raphael, Donatello crouched down, moved some of the shattered glass with one finger and then stood, taking two steps, stopping, then more. Michelangelo followed close on his heels as he muttered something to himself.

"Yeah, Donnie?" Michelangelo asked.

"Okay," he said, still staring down, "they came in through there," he pointed to the broken and gaping holes in the walls and the shattered window, "there and there. At least twenty…maybe more. They fought…" he motioned around them; reached down and picked up a broken bit of wood and held it up to Raphael and Michelangelo. "A piece of bo…" he swallowed, "Leo was weaponless…" he said and let the implication hang in the air. For a moment the three considered the fight that their brother had fought in with sinking hearts.

"They knocked him out here," Raphael said, breaking the silence, and indicating the pattern of blood against the broken pew. He took three steps, "dragged him through here."

They ran to the back of the church where the structure was most sound then followed the small spatters of blood and footprints. They moved outside and the tracks were clear in the dirt. Quietly they moved along, careful not to disturb the tracks, but staying close enough to read them. Before long, the tracks thinned and vanished when they made it to an intersection leading out of the industrial park and into a run-down neighborhood full of dismal looking brick apartment buildings. An ambulance howled in the distance.

"They must've had vehicles," Donatello said, feeling the frustration building within him and looking up and down the deserted street where they stood.

"Which way, Donnie?" Raph asked, grinding his teeth. Donatello shook his head.

"I don't…"

Michelangelo glanced around and pulled his brothers back as a pick-up truck drove by. The headlights illuminating the spot where they had stood only seconds before.

"We're too out in the open here. We should get up," Mikey said from the shadows where they'd retreated and pointed to the roof tops.

"Yeah, maybe we'll see something we're missin'" Raph said trying to keep the creeping doubt from slipping into his voice and they made their way to the clustered buildings across the street and started to climb. If they took Leonardo away within a vehicle, he could be anywhere at this point. As he climbed, Raphael clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes. They only had one choice, to keep looking. To keep looking until they found him and brought him home.

* * *

Leonardo could feel his breath getting more and more shallow as he rocked on his knees. Somewhere up and to his left he heard the sound of the vents begin to blow more frigid air into the freezer. His shivering body contracted as the icy flow of air blew over him. His teeth clattered together loudly in his ears. With his right arm he hugged his body and moved his hand over his shoulder trying to rub some warmth into his skin. He could no longer feel his left hand from the wrist down to his fingers.

The shaking would come on hard and then ease off to shivering only to rebuild and each time the wracking shakes hit him, his bound arm cried out in pain as his left wrist pulled against the handcuff. The trickles of blood were frozen crimson tracks against the frigid skin of his hand. The metal of the cuffs had a frosted coating.

He tried to think of ways to stay warm, but after the first desperate minutes of searching for something to wrap around himself came up empty, he could only think to try to keep moving. He brought his right hand up to his mouth and breathed on it, the warmth from his exhale did little to ease the numbing cold. His fingers couldn't curl into a fist, they felt thick and hard to move at all. His joints ached and his head pounded. Each inhale felt as though he were blowing icy air into his throat and back of his head. He leaned down and repeated huffing onto his numb left hand. It was getting harder to take in deep breaths. His shivering made his breath come in short panting bursts.

He sat up, still rocking a bit for movement. How long had he been in there? At least an hour, he was sure, maybe longer.  _How long do they plan on keeping me in here_ , he thought as dread settled into his stomach. He had to think, there had to be a way to keep warm.

Again, his eyes scanned the metal shelves around him; his frozen eye lashes sticking to his cheeks as he blinked. Bags of vegetables, wrapped meat, his stomach sank; nothing he could use. A spasm of hard shaking came over him and when it eased back to shivering he leaned his head against the metal leg of the shelf. He was beginning to feel tired. The weight of his body seemed to double with the thought. In the back of his mind he dimly wondered how much of an effect the cold had on him because of his reptilian roots.

He let out a soft chuckle as he thought of Donatello. Wouldn't he love to be there right now, recording Leonardo's symptoms and hmm'ing to himself. He's always so interested in their own . . . brothers - no that wasn't the word he wanted to think . . .  _biology_. That was it.

 _Biology, chemistry, katanas, Karai . . ._ he blinked slowly, keeping his eyes open began to be a chore.

 _My mind's wandering,_ he thought and felt the edges of his vision darken as his eyelids slipped closed.  _Karai . . ._ her face rose in his mind and he felt slightly warmer for the image. Sleep pulled him towards her as the vision wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down closer to her mouth; her beautiful lips. So soft, so warm; like her body; so soft, so warm against him.

The door to the freezer swung open and Leonardo cracked open his eyes, nearly sealed shut with frost. He managed to lift his shaking chin up from his chest an inch or so to see the soldiers flood in. He numbly felt their hands on him. In his mind, he kicked out and struggled, but in reality he hung limply, shivering, half-frozen, as they unlatched his wrist from the handcuff. As they did, a small torrent of blood spilled from the raw gash the metal had made against the delicate skin beneath. It felt unnaturally hot against his flesh and he hissed an intake of breath. He tried to stand, but his feet couldn't get purchase on the floor. He felt clumsy and heavy to himself as they gripped him roughly under his shivering arms and hauled him upright.

They dragged him out from the freezer and the bright change in light made him squint and blink. The air was so much warmer it hurt his skin and burned his eyes as they dragged him forward. He tried to look around, but it was so bright; blinding him. He caught the smell of food, stew and fresh bread, and his stomach growled and his mouth filled with saliva. From the corner of his eye, he made out metal tables and containers, all so bright, all stainless steel, a kitchen, he realized.

He was beginning to feel pins and needles throughout his legs and feet as they brought him into a new room. This room was smaller than the freezer; rectangular in shape; the large bricks making up the walls were painted a dull gray; cement floor; a chair sat in the middle of the room; a bucket; a narrow table with various items stacked upon it stood against the far short wall. The gleam of metal instruments laying on it caught his eye. Before Leonardo could focus on them, his left wrist cried out in pain as they snapped manacles around it and his right. A chain was pulled and his arms were raised above his head, pulling him up until only the balls of his feet touched the floor. He looked up to see the manacles were attached to a chain that was looped over an exposed pipe in the ceiling.

One of the men patted his cheek in mock affection. Then the soldiers backed out of the room. Leonardo huffed and tried to pull at the restraints but only succeeded at making his left wrist bleed more.

The door to the room opened and closed suddenly and a man wearing a simple foot uniform strode inside, the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. He grabbed the back of the chair and turned it around. The bottom of the legs squealed against the cement floor as he did. He sat upon it, legs straddling the seat. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the back of the chair, crossing his muscular, bare arms in front of him. He sat considering Leonardo with his dark, glittering eyes in silence as Leo's heart hammered in his chest. His mask was on, covering the bottom half of his face; helmet was off, revealing a shock of black hair, a large patch of white making up part of it near his left temple.

"Leonardo. That's what they call you, isn't it?" asked the Shredder.

* * *

When Karai opened her eyes she found herself on her bed. For a brief, wonderful moment she thought it had all been a dream. She sat up and felt dizzy. She rubbed her face, feeling the wet tears on her cheeks, felt the pain in her jaw and realized with a flash of terror that it was real. They had him.  _They had him!_ She leapt to her feet and raced to her door and pulled at the handle. The door didn't open, it was locked. Karai punched the solid wood and kicked it. Then she turned and raced to the small desk and yanked open a drawer, closed it and opened another. Her hands scrambled the contents about.

"Where are you, you little . . . "

Her fingers found the small leather pouch. She pulled it out with a small shout of triumph and ran back to the door. She dumped the contents to the floor and picked up the small metal pieces she needed to pick the lock. The small snip sound came at long last. She turned the handle carefully and cracked open the door and peered out. As she feared, a soldier stood near the elevator at the end of the hall. She shut the door and leaned against the doorframe, her knees up, elbows resting on top of them. She had to think. She ran her hands through her hair, her scalp tender from her father's grip from earlier.

When she opened the door again, she saw with a start that the soldier was standing right outside her door. He was no ordinary soldier. Of course not, she thought as she took in the elite uniform. Her eyes raised up to see him slowly shaking his head, arms crossed over a broad chest. She closed the door and dropped her head.

_"Fuck."_

* * *

He wasn't surprised the freak didn't answer any of his questions about the location of his clan. These creatures were stubborn and trained to be loyal. It was worth a try while he had him at his mercy. He shook out his right hand, sore from punching the hard body of his captive. Shredder stood in front of the table and considered the implements before him. He rolled his head, popping the bones and releasing some of the tension. His fingers brushed over the scalpel and needles, then settled on the short, black whip as he thought of Karai's words,  _'Leonardo is so much more'_. His grip tightened around its handle.

 _We'll see what he's made of and how quickly it breaks._  Fury bled the edges of his vision a deep red as he turned and advanced on the turtle hanging before him.

Leonardo raised his throbbing head in time to see Shredder raise his arm and the whip lash out. He felt the razor-like lash strike across both his thighs and though he'd controlled his cries of pain as the Shredder had beaten him moments ago, this searing pain ripped away his control. He clenched his jaw but the whimpering cry broke free from his throat and slipped from between his gritted teeth. His numb fingers clutched at the chains suspending him and his biceps bunched as he pulled, fighting against the pain. All the air squeezed out of his lungs as his chest constricted with pain.

Shredder brought his arm back again and again, savagely whipping him. Each time the whip struck across Leonardo's writhing body, it raised thick welts and tore through his flesh at the same time. Blood trickled down his quaking limbs; fell in fat drops against the concrete below. Crimson droplets of it spattered across the front of the Shredder's mask and dark uniform.

Leonardo dropped his head in shame as the high-pitched, whimpering sounds coming from him wouldn't abate and tears streamed down the sides of his face. Some warrior he was. He brought only shame to his family. Roughly he wiped the sides of his face against his raised arms. He panted in short bursts and gasps trying to force air back into his contracting lungs as the Shredder stepped away; taking the reprieve to desperately gather together any remaining bits of strength he had. He started as the Shredder began to speak in a low, calm voice; almost conversational in tone, that belied what he'd just been doing.

"She played the game well. Don't you think?"

His back was to Leonardo so he did not see the confusion spread across his features as Leonardo attempted to focus on what was being said. The blood rushing through his ears as well as his gasps muffled the sound of the Shredder's voice. Almost as if reading his thoughts, he paused, giving Leonardo time to adjust to the sudden end of his suffering. He picked up a small towel and wiped the blood from his hands. He turned and crouched to pick up the over turned chair. He righted it and sat once more as he did an hour earlier when he'd first entered and started questioning Leonardo.

Leonardo's head swam, his vision doubled, then focused on Shredder sitting before him. The drip drop of his blood onto the cement floor was the only sound in the room. His trembling body was afire with pain. His ankles wobbled as the balls of his feet tried to take the weight from his wrists and shoulders. Sweat dribbled down the sides of his face and he blinked away the tears that flooded his eyes.

The cruelty danced in Shredder's eyes. He chuckled and it was without warmth.

"Oh yes, I know, Leonardo. I know what you did with my daughter."

He crossed his arms, studying Leonardo. For a moment, the Shredder's eyes darkened, but it passed as he spoke again in that calm, almost casual tone. "You should know she is as dangerous as she is beautiful. She is my most loyal soldier. As is only fitting seeing she is my  _family_ , my  _daughter_."

He paused and Leonardo blinked.

"I wonder what Splinter would think of this betrayal on your part? You, his most prized son, the one he chose as leader, laying with his mortal enemy. Perhaps I should send him a copy of the tape Karai made."

Leonardo blinked as sweat trickled into his eyes and stung them. His mouth was dry and his tongue felt thick and it stuck to the roof of his mouth. He swallowed dryly as he processed what was being said. Panic began to lace his pounding heartbeats. His lower lip trembled and he pressed his lips together to make it stop.

_He's lying. He's lying. Don't listen to him. He's trying to hurt you now with lies._

The Shredder clucked his tongue and continued, "Ah, Leonardo. I can see the denial written plainly on your face. You foolish creature. Do you really think she  _wanted_  you to touch her? You are nothing but a freak to her, a mutated monster. A means to an end. And she served me well in seducing you."

Leonardo's throat worked. He was only saying this to hurt him. It was all lies. There was no tape, there was no plan. What did he know of their love?

Shredder leaned forward in the chair, inclined his head, one eyebrow raised.

"Did she tell you she loves you?" He dropped his face and laughed hard and genuine, the sound was throaty and rich. The sound of it tore fresh wounds inside of Leonardo.

"My daughter. Quite the kunoichi." He nodded. "Very skilled at what she does."

Leonardo's eyebrows twitched, coming together in a shaky frown. To his horror, he felt the hot tears build and spill from his eyes. But he couldn't stop them, just as he couldn't stop the vile things the Shredder had said to him; poisoning him with words.

The Shredder stood. He stepped up to him and Leonardo instinctively leaned his swaying, shaking body away from him as he reached out and patted his heaving chest. Leonardo grimaced at the touch.

"It hurts, I know. I only thought you should know the truth before the end. As my worthy enemy, you deserved that much."

 _"Y-You're lying_ ," Leonardo finally ground out between clenched teeth, his voice thick with emotion.

The Shredder moved close to Leonardo's face. He stared into Leonardo's wide blue eyes, taking great pleasure in the anguish he saw written in them. Slowly his eyes trailed up and down Leonardo, sizing him up, considering him, weighing his strengths and weaknesses. When his eyes met Leonardo's again Leonardo could only see fathomless pools of disdain and repulsion.

"Am I?"

With that he turned away and left Leonardo swaying and shaking with pain from wounds both physical and emotional, the sound of his blood dripping down and striking the floor his only companion.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I warned ya, lol. Anyway, thanks again for all the kudos and follows and mostly the REVIEWS! Keep them coming, I love to hear from my readers! 
> 
> What do you think of my Shredder? Evil enough? Complex enough? Over the top? I'd like to know if I'm keeping everyone pretty well in character for the most part...Thank you again for taking the time out to read my stories, I love you. xo :D


	17. Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Raph shows his determined side and Donatello proves to be more frightening when he's calm. A horrible vision reveals Leonardo's deeply buried shame and guilt for all that he's done.

 

Donatello flipped the shell cell closed. He looked at Michelangelo who was bracing himself up with his hands on his knees, catching his breath. They had run all night; scouring roof tops, alleyways, streets and abandoned buildings. Splitting up and regrouping to share any shred of evidence that might indicate where the Foot had taken Leo. Each minute passing built the panic and fear within them.

"Raph's got nothing. He just heard from Casey and April."

Michelangelo looked up as he wiped the back of his hand across his bottom lip. "Anything?"

Donatello shook his head. Michelangelo straightened up. The breeze blew the tails of his orange mask out to the right.

"Well, we can't stop. They've got him somewhere. We have to keep going until we find something."

He hated to sound so defeatist, but said, "We're running on nothing here."

Donatello leaned heavily against the cracked parapet of the building they stood on. Before him, the city spread out in all directions. A multitude of possible buildings where they could be holding Leonardo, torturing him as they stood around with their thumbs up their shells. The longer he was in their clutches, the higher the likelihood that he wouldn't survive. He sighed in frustration and regret and dropped his forehead into his thumb and finger, rubbing hard.

If only he'd let Raphael and Splinter keep Leo from Karai maybe none of this would've happened. If he hadn't interfered, maybe Raph could've gotten him to go home with them yesterday morning. Raising his eye brows, he pressed his finger and thumb to his mouth. Yesterday morning? Was it only yesterday when they were so close to saving him from the impending disaster? Michelangelo stepped over and leaned on the edge of the building with him. His eyes scanned over the roof tops.

 _Even Mikey had more sense than me,_  he thought. But Leo seemed so sure that he knew what he was doing with Karai. He truly trusted her and foolishly, Donatello trusted Leonardo's judgment. He, more than any of them, should have known better. No one thinks clearly when they're in love. Splinter was right not to trust Karai, so was Raphael and Michelangelo. And now Leo was paying for his trust, hopefully not with his life.

Donatello huffed and decided their best hope would be to head back to the area near the burnt out church and retrace the tracks the Foot soldiers made when they first took Leonardo. He noticed Michelangelo looking to the east and turned.

Dawn was breaking like a blow to the heart. The deep purple of the sky bled into pale greens in the east. The shadows were fading and so with them their cover.

"I'm gonna keep looking," Mikey's voice was calm and determined.

"I think we should call it for now. It's getting light. We should go and check on Master Splinter anyway. Then we can go out again later this afternoon."

Donatello turned to step away from the wall. Michelangelo stood with his arms crossed over his chest stubbornly. He shook his head. A car's horn blared from below. A flock of pigeons flew overhead behind them. Somewhere a train whistle called its lonely cry.

"I ain't going back to the lair," he said and sounded eerily like Raphael. Sometimes the two of them were too similar. One light and one dark, but the same when you really looked. He went on, "You go ahead. I'm still going to look for a few more hours."

"Mikey, we've been at it all night and have nothing to go on from here. Besides, you need some rest."

Michelangelo set his jaw and again the resemblance to his older brother was unsettling. "Like Leo's getting right now?"

Donatello dropped his head; the action soon mirrored by Michelangelo. It hurt to say it aloud but it was true. What was Leonardo enduring? Michelangelo blinked his burning eyes. He knew they were hurting Leo and he knew they were his only chance. They couldn't give up yet.

"Okay, a few more hours. Maybe if we could…"

The shell cell rang. Donatello grabbed it; hope flying high in his chest. He flipped it open as Michelangelo dashed to his side. Donatello's face dropped into a frown.

"Okay, okay. Where? Hold on, we're coming."

Donatello's brown eyes met the wide blue of Michelangelo's.

"Raph's got one of the Foot soldiers pinned on a roof across town."

He didn't think Michelangelo's eyes could get any rounder, but they did.

"Oh man," Michelangelo breathed. "We gotta go before he kills 'em."

Without another word the two brothers dashed to the edge of the roof top and leapt to the next. Their hearts racing and their fears building.

* * *

The door to Karai's room opened and she scrambled to gather the rope and climbing hooks from her mattress and jam them under her bed. She stood straight as her father entered. Her eyes widened and her stomach shrank and sunk to her feet as she took in the spatters of blood covering the front of his clothes and mask.  _Was he…Has he been…_  She found she couldn't speak. Fear had stolen away the words.

The Shredder strode across the room; pulled the small table away from the wall next to her bed to the center of the floor. Several books and a lamp tipped and clattered to the floor with the motion. He set a lap top down on the table and tapped the keys then braced his blood coated hands on either side of the computer and looked up at her.

"Karai, you have played with fire here. As your father, I can find it in my heart to forgive your actions."

She blinked in surprise, almost too stunned and skeptical to believe what he'd just said.

"But the clan will not be so quick to forgive or forget your actions. In less than six months you will be turning eighteen." He shifted his feet and looked away from her to the corner of her room with a slight shake of his head. The bitterness and regret coated what he said next. "You were to be given a portion of the clan to command within the city limits of Takaramachi in Japan as a gift from me."

His hands curled into fists. He straightened and turned his back to her, unable to look at her as he continued. "They will not follow you, nor will they respect you if they suspect that this…incident with the mutant was genuine."

"Father…" she started softly, but her voice rose, "I don't want this."

He ignored her. "You must fix this." He turned to face her. "You will fix this."

"Did you not hear me? I don't want to run the Foot." She clutched her fists in front of her chest.

Shredder raised an eyebrow. "Oh, and what is it you  _want_?"

She dropped her hands to her sides, her lip quivered and she ground her teeth together to steady herself. He moved around the table and stood in front of her, towering over her.

"Will you stand here and tell me you want  _him_?" His voice was thick with disgust. "You would turn your back on your family? On everything that I have sacrificed to give you? A future, a legacy that will live on." Karai dropped her gaze to the floor. "And to what end? You would only bring more shame and dishonor to our family."

"It was never my intention to bring shame," she whispered.

"But you have. And you continue to do so with this folly."

"I love -"

The Shredder's eyes flashed and he raised his fist. She shrunk back from him.

"Do not speak to me of  _love_  with this . . . this  _creature_. Your obsession with the freak is nothing more than a product of a sick mind, a twisted depravity that I will cleanse you of." He dropped his fist and turned back to the table to the lap top sitting there.

"I will make this clear and simple. I will announce to the clan that you trapped Leonardo with your . . . kunoichi skills and delivered him to us as an act of loyalty. You will stand next to me as I deliver this prize to our soldiers."

Karai shook her head. Tears burning her eyes.  _Never. Never. I will not._  The words stomped through her mind, but her lips trembled and pressed together.

"If you are thinking of defying me yet again. I have something to show you." He turned the screen around; stepped back from the laptop and indicated her to look.

Frowning, she moved closer. A video, a surveillance video playing a series of short segments of a young man; ragged and drawn looking, on a foreign, crowded street; entering a building; stepping into an alley with a tall stranger. Confused, Karai looked up at her father.

"Do you not recognize him, daughter?"

She stared again at the images. Dread stirring in her stomach. Something familiar. The dirty blond hair, the drawn face. How did she know this person?

"The years have not been kind to Marcus Brokker, have they?"

Karai's eyes widened as she stared. Yes, now she saw it clearly. But what had happened? She didn't understand.

"The Foot Clan operates throughout many countries. Some of our allies invest in rather … unsavory practices. The drug trade, weapon smuggling…sex trafficking. Occasionally, it serves my purpose to deal with such dishonorable people."

He watched her as the color drained from her face. She swayed to one side and gripped the edge of the table for support.

"There would be buyers for such a unique prize. Quite a profit would be made in his sale." She heard the smile in his voice as he went on. "Then again, I could leash him and keep him as a pet. Or perhaps a mascot." He chuckled darkly. She brought her hand to cover her mouth as her stomach heaved.

He leaned forward, meeting her eyes. "I will ensure that he lingers and his suffering will be unmatched. Everything that you find honorable and noble in him will slowly be crushed from him. In time, there will be little left. Then we'll see if your attraction to him will stand."

Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. He would do these vile things. He was capable of anything. She rocked slowly shaking her head. How could she save him?

"Wear this if you need to." The Shredder tossed her mask to her. With numb fingers she caught it against her chest. "Tonight you will stand next to me as we present him to the soldiers. Tonight you will regain your rightful place as my heir to the Foot clan. They will respect you once more and hopefully gain some fear of you as well."

With that he strode out from her room and slammed the door. She heard the lock snap in place. She fumbled with the mask in her shaking hands. Blearily she glanced up and her eyes fell on the continuing loop of Marcus. Marcus who was once so strong, beautiful and lovely; the object of her younger self's sweet desire and devoted love. He hurt her, but he didn't deserve this fate. Not this mockery of a life.

She would not allow this to happen to her Leonardo. If it meant she had to break his heart, she would save him from this. A sob broke from her chest.

Yes, she would do as her father commanded. But then she would get him free. Somehow. Somehow. She had to try.

* * *

"So, lemme spell this out for ya, to keep things really simple," Raphael said as he tied the rope to the exposed pipe on the roof top with a grunt; the end of it was wrapped around the Foot soldiers wrists, pulled back and above his sagging head. Raphael gripped the top of the soldier's head and lifted it up to look him in the face.

"Here, let's get this outa the way, first. Maybe it clogs your ears, huh?" he said as he ripped the mask off the man.

Beneath it, grey eyes flashed beneath light eye brows. One eye was swollen and blackened. Raphael looked at him. He was older than Raphael had expected, maybe in his thirties. His sandy brown hair was cropped short; a large knot that was split and bleeding marked the left of his forehead and blood dribbled from one corner of his mouth. Raphael brought his sai up to the man's throat, keeping the point pressing against his adam's apple.

"Where's my brother?"

The man licked his lips and stared at Raphael. In those cold grey eyes, he could only see hate. Raphael tilted his head. Okay, hate was fine. But what he needed was a little fear out of this guy. He pulled his fist back and punched the soldier in the face. The man's head snapped to the right. Spit and blood flew from between his lips. Slowly, he turned his face back to Raphael's and glared at him. Raphael grabbed the man by his throat and slammed his head back against the bricks.

"Where is my brother?"

The man licked his lips again, his tongue a deep crimson. He spat at Raphael, hitting him in the face. Raphael reared back with a growl and punched him again. Right. Left. He stood back and kicked the man in the side. He groaned. Raphael paced in front of the man then stopped and pointed at him.

"You're gonna answer me."

The soldier narrowed his eyes. " _Fuck_  you, freak."

Raphael roared and dove onto the man, gripping his throat and squeezing. The soldier kicked his legs and Raphael took the blows to his plastron with grunts. With his left hand, he raised his sai and drove the point through the man's bound wrist, into it and through. Raphael felt the man's body contract with pain and tremble, but he only clenched his jaw and made no sound. His breath came in panting gasps as foaming spittle sprayed Raphael's face.

 _"Where is my brother?"_ he snarled.

 _"Raph!"_ Donatello cried out as he landed on the roof and broke into a somersault.  _"Stop! You're gonna kill 'em!"_

Michelangelo pounced and grabbed Raphael's armpits and hauled him off the man. The blood coated sai flew from his grasp and clattered across the roof. The soldier stared at each of them in turn as he sat panting. He stretched his neck and jutted his chin out. His bruised and battered face took on a grisly smile.

"So," he panted, "did you take turns with the little slut? Pass her around? We…We all saw that sickening video."

Stunned, the three brothers stared at him. They exchanged confused glances. Did he mean Karai? Michelangelo mouth the word,  _video?_  to Donatello, frowning; baffled. Raphael's heart sank and Donatello paled. That meant that the Foot clan knew Leonardo and Karai had been intimate. Leonardo was going to be butchered.  _They had to find him._

 _"Where is he?"_ Raphael screamed and scrambled forward as Michelangelo struggled to hold him back. The man kicked out at them as they stumbled closer.

 _"Try it freaks!"_  He spat at them. The maniacal smile spread further across the man's face. "Shredder's gonna rip him to pieces and she deserves the same."

The guy has a death wish, Michelangelo thought. Michelangelo grunted as Raphael struggled and bucked trying to get himself free of his brother's hold.

Donatello shouted, "Calm down, Raph!"

Donatello stepped in front of his brothers, closer to the bound soldier. He stared at him for a moment. Slowly he pulled his bo free. He turned it in an arc over his head; bringing it down with a gentle thud and pushed one end into the man's stomach, just below his navel. He leaned ever so slightly and the soldier groaned. The smile dropped from his face.

Donatello said in a calm, quiet voice, "If I apply the right amount of pressure, I'll crush your bowels, leading to internal bleeding and septic shock. A nasty and very painful way to spend your final moments." He leaned his weight down more and the man squirmed beneath him, sweat giving his pale skin a waxy quality in the growing morning light.

"I suggest you answer our question."

The man's blood-shot eyes bulged as Donatello increased the pressure and twisted his staff. Michelangelo released Raphael. They moved to either side of Donatello. The hatred in the soldier's eyes was now replaced by pain and fear.

"Where are they holding our brother?" Donatello asked calmly and leaned a bit more of his weight down.

* * *

Somewhere Leonardo heard the soft clink of chains moving. Muffled voices in the distance. He ignored it. He was too busy to pay attention. He had to get ready. It was very important that everything was perfect. He was to receive a great honor.

Leonardo pulled the straps over his shoulder and buckled them securely. He frowned a little, hmm, his shoulder seemed a little…sore. He ignored it. He leaned down and gingerly lifted the gleaming twin katanas that he'd spent an hour polishing up to inspect them. The lines were sharp, his reflection bright on the blade. His hands faltered a moment, in the reflection something looked wrong. His face…where was his mask? Was that blood? He looked again and all was fine. With his fingertips, he caressed the edge of his blue mask.  _Must be imagining things._  He chuckled and with a flourish slid the blades into the sheaths on his back.

He turned to leave his bedroom and from the corner of his eye he thought he saw someone laying in his bed; a beautiful, dark haired woman with pale white skin; naked. His heart skipped a beat and sped up. He turned quickly and looked again to find it empty. He tilted his head and with a confused smile he brushed away the unsettled feeling and stepped out from his room into the living room of the lair.

His brothers were there, kneeling in a semi-circle waiting for him. They looked up at him with admiration shining in their eyes. Raphael gave him a thumbs up and Michelangelo winked at him. Donatello smiled. He felt his chest swell with happiness and pride. He walked past them towards Splinter who stood in the center of the room. His back was to Leonardo.

"Kneel my son," he said.

Leonardo knelt, hands resting gently on his thighs.

"Answer me this, Leonardo."

"Hai, Sensei. Anything."

"Is your spirit pure?"

Leonardo's eye brows twitched. An uneasy feeling stirred in his gut. A series of images flashed through his mind, too fast to hold on to and make any sense of. Something with that woman, that was certain. Nervously, he glanced at his brothers who were now watching him with expressions of disgust and repulsion on their faces. Raphael crossed his arms and shook his head. Michelangelo wrinkled his nose and glared at him. Donatello looked away as though he couldn't stand the sight of him. Leonardo swallowed at the lump that suddenly formed in his throat and focused his gaze back on the floor in front of him. He started feeling cold; his body shivered, and yet he was sweating. He rubbed his clammy hands against his thighs.

"Sensei?" he asked softly.

"It is a simple question, my son. Is your spirit pure? Are you clean?"

"Am I . . . ?"

Confused, Leonardo looked down at himself and gasped as he found his body covered in blood and gore, and something else. The smell was a stomach churning mix of copper and musk. He was exposed. His mouth hung open. He quickly brought his dripping hands to cover himself. His face reddened deeply. He looked up at Splinter and his filthy body shook violently in terror. What was happening?

"Wh-What?"

"Such a disappointment. You bring this family only shame. Your spirit is tarnished. You are not clean."

Leonardo pitched forward onto his bent legs and clutched at the fabric of Splinter's robe with trembling fingers. He grasped at the hem and pressed his forehead down against it; grappling with the sudden intense feelings of shame and guilt.

"F-Father . . . I don't . . . I-I'm . . . clean."

Splinter glanced down at him from over his shoulder. He shook his head sadly. His lip curled in disgust. He kicked at Leonardo's face; striking it hard.

"No, you are  _not_."

"F-Father . . . p-please!" Leonardo sobbed; crawled forward; tears spilling from his eyes. "I. . . I'm clean.  _I'm clean_!"

His body jumped and quaked as the icy water struck him bringing him out of his unconscious state.

Gasping in fright, he put up his hands to block the stinging torrential stream from striking his face. His body slid along the cement floor as it was pushed back by the strength of the water shooting from the fire hose. He slammed painfully against the bricks as the water blasted him. He coughed and squirmed until he was able to maneuver his body around so that his shell was taking the brunt of the force. He wrapped his aching arms over his head and tucked his torn up legs up against his plastron. Vaguely, above the sound of the rushing water, he heard laughter. One voice rose familiar and terrifying above the others.

"I think he's clean enough. Get him up," Shredder said.

The blast of water eased up then stopped. Leonardo shivered and braced his hands against the floor and raised his chest up as several ninjas fell on top of him. Leonardo grabbed one of them by the legs and punched him in the back of his knee. The soldier fell back but two more replaced him.

He fought, swinging his fist, striking another in the stomach. The man grunted and backed away, again, he was swiftly replaced with more soldiers. One of them kicked him in the face and he fell to the side as his mouth filled with metal taste of blood. The blows struck him in the head and stomach and it was all he could do to try to block as much as he could. As his strength faded, he fell weakly to the floor, taking the punishment with low grunts and groans. Then he was grabbed and hauled to his feet. The soldiers moved to either side of him as they supported him.

The Shredder came to stand before him. His metal mask gleamed in the light. His dark eyes glittered with dark humor.

Leonardo blinked the water and blood from his eyes; set his jaw. Whatever the Shredder was planning to do to him, he would face it with courage. He was frightened and sure that this would be his end. He had endured so much pain in the last twelve hours, more pain than he'd ever felt before. But it was nothing compared to the crushing agony he bore within his breaking heart.

As much as he wanted to believe the Shredder had lied about Karai, pain and exhaustion conspired against that slim, shining hope of their love he held on to; eating away at his insides as he hung from the ceiling for hours; his hollow fear and black thoughts and the dripping of his blood keeping him company until he fell unconscious.

The Shredder brought his hand up and gripped Leonardo's cheeks painfully with strong fingers; squeezing and forcing his mouth open.

"My daughter has invited you to a party, Leonardo. Here's a little something to help you loosen up. In case you're feeling nervous," he said and the men around him chuckled and laughed cruelly.

He felt the opening of a glass bottle shoved in between his lips, clanging painfully against his teeth. His legs buckled and he dug his wet heels into the cement floor, scrambling to break free as the clear fluid flooded into his mouth and down his throat.

_It burned!_

The men securing him roared in laughter as he choked and sputtered. He pulled his head away from Shredder's fingers, but he held Leonardo's cheek firmly. Streams of it spilled from the corners of his mouth trickling down his body, stinging his still bleeding wounds wherever it touched. The Shredder chuckled and lifted the bottom of the large bottle up; bouncing it up and down with Leonardo's struggling body, keeping the fluid pouring into him, drowning him with the searing liquid. Choking and gagging, swallowing the alcohol; his stomach burned and churned.

Once empty, the Shredder lifted it, inspected it and tossed the bottle to one side. It shattered against the cement. He turned and motioned with his fingers as Leonardo coughed and struggled to get air into his lungs. His shoulders yanked and pulled against the men holding him. Tears streamed from his burning eyes. A soldier brought another bottle and the Shredder repeated shoving it into his mouth and forcing him to drink the liquor.

His body strained against the soldiers gripping his arms and shoulders, but the soldiers held him fast. He only managed to writhe and squirm which only added to the humiliating spectacle. When this bottle emptied, the Shredder stepped back, observing him coldly as the men continued to laugh and taunt him with rude and sarcastic comments. With a nod from the Shredder, the men dropped him to the floor where he collapsed.

"Time for your date."

The men roared with laughter. It rained down on him as he hacked and coughed and struggled to breathe. The room and all the ninjas and the Shredder spun crazily and his vision blurred. He choked, gagged and retched. His body jumped as the Shredder kicked him viciously in the stomach. He groaned; wrapped his swollen and bleeding arms around his middle and rolled to one side using his head for support as he arched his body and gasped for air. The room spun and spun. It wouldn't stop spinning. Closing his eyes made it only worse. He retched again.

"Bind his hands and bring him to the dojo."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're coming close to the finale here, dear readers. I have had such fun writing this and reading all the reviews. Please keep them coming :D


	18. The End of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conflicting emotional drama for DONATELLO is only just beginning - for Leo, his heart is shattered, love destroyed.

_'You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?'_ (Unknown author, anyone know where this quote comes from?)

* * *

 

The three brothers waited in the alleyway, huddled in the shadow of a large dumpster, waiting. Donatello glanced at Raphael as he sat fiddling with his sais, grinding his teeth and muttering something under his breath. He wished he'd be still, but bit his tongue. They didn't need to start fighting amongst themselves at this time. Michelangelo stood up so quickly it was as if his legs were made of springs.

"Here they come," he said as a boxy van turned the corner into the alley from the street. The brakes whined and squealed as it pulled to a lurching stop. April opened the driver's side door, glanced over her shoulder, then up and down the alley. She looked a bit confused and called out in a whisper.

_"Guys?"_

Emerging like living shadows, the turtles stepped out from their hiding space. She sighed in relief and then motioned for them to come on.

"I thought I had the wrong alley for a second," she said, relieved as they crossed around the front of the van and got in, waving and nodding to her. Donatello hesitated as he noticed Casey was not inside. He bit his lip then made up his mind, sitting down in the passenger side seat.

April got in and glanced at him, her expression unreadable. His eyes met hers briefly before shooting away, looking at his suddenly clammy hands folded between his knees. Was it happiness, relief, or simply surprise that he'd seen in those green depths? His heart contracted and fluttered. He silently cursed himself as a damn fool. No matter how many times he'd argued with himself, no matter how much logic he used, no matter how much he knew he had to accept the situation and move on, his traitorous heart did this to him every time he laid eyes on her. He swallowed dryly.

"You've got the address?" he asked quietly.

She nodded and put the van in gear. After driving for a few minutes, Donatello ducked down as they passed by a large group of people on the street waiting for a bus. After the coast was clear, Raphael popped up between the seats, his bulky arm hanging over the back of Donatello's seat.

"Where's Casey?"

April turned the steering wheel as she made a left. "While we were out searching for signs of Leo, he sort of, had an accident."

Donatello's eye brows went up and he peered sideways at her but he didn't move his head. She didn't sound concerned, more exasperated, he noted.

"What? Is he okay?" Raph asked.

April chuckled, "Oh, please. Yeah, no. He's fine. Just got himself scraped up pretty good. He tripped and went down a fire escape. Thought he broke his leg at first."

A snort of laughter erupted out of Donatello and April and Raphael shot him a look, one of surprise and the other a glare. Donatello covered his mouth with his finger and thumb and glanced out the window. He bit his lip to keep from laughing more. That big goof. He could just imagine it. But his humor fled him and was immediately replaced with sinking serious dread as the gleaming building where the Foot held Leonardo loomed within sight.

"Slow down, get around it. There, do you see the alley?"

April pulled the van into the alley near the headquarters. It was populated with several large dumpsters and after a quick scan, no homeless people that she could see. She glanced at Raph and Mikey over her shoulder then at Donatello.

"When we come out, it'll be fast. Shouldn't take too long. Keep it running," Raph told her as he pointed over her shoulder to the keys in the ignition. She nodded with her lips pressed together.

"Right. In and out," Mikey said from behind Raphael. "In and out," he repeated the mantra nervously to himself. He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. Raphael turned and patted him on the shoulder, reassuringly.

"We'll bring him out through there," Donatello said and indicated the back of the building. He reached for his belt; handed her a shell cell. "If something goes wrong, we'll signal."

April nodded again and hoped she kept the fear out of her eyes. If something went wrong they were all in big trouble. Raphael and Michelangelo moved to exit the van.

April quickly reached out as Donatello moved away, her fingers grasping at his; the shell cell still pressed inside her palms. She dropped the phone onto her lap and only held Donatello's hand now. Time slowed to a crawl. His eyes stared fixedly at her hands sandwiching his; mouth slightly parted in surprise. Her skin; so soft; so warm; peaches and cream; velvet and lovely; it seared his flesh and soothed it at the same time.

It had been so long since they had touched. A familiar ache he'd been trying to forget blossomed in his chest and the pain was sweet and sharp at once. Slowly, his shining chestnut eyes inched their way up to hers. His already nervous and adrenaline filled system kicked up the intensity as his heart hammered as their eyes met. His mind raced along with his heart.

_What is this? She's with Casey. Isn't she? What is that look in her eyes? I thought she and Casey…! What does this mean? What is she doing to me?_

_"April,"_  his voice; a trembling whisper across his mouth.

"Please be careful, okay?"

He saw her lips form the words but couldn't understand anything she'd said. He could only see her pink lips moving, the darker pink of her tongue just beyond the line of her perfect teeth. A small shiver passed through him.

Raphael pounded his fist upon the glass next to Donatello, making him jump and pull his hand abruptly away from April's touch.

"Let's move it!" Raphael hissed between clenched teeth.

He gasped, not realizing he'd been holding his breath. He spun in his seat; fumbled with the handle of the door with shaking hands and numb fingers. His frazzled brain seemed to forget how to operate such complex technology as a car door lever. After an embarrassingly long struggle, Raphael got the hint and pulled the door open from the outside. Donatello tumbled out from the van, nodded his thanks to his brother for the assistance and jogged over to where Michelangelo stood with a bewildered look on his face.

"You okay, bro? You look a little . . . weirded out."

Donatello nodded repeatedly. "I-I'm fine. A little nervous, I guess." He shot a quick look over his shoulder, Raph was running towards them, and beyond, he couldn't quite see her through the van's glass, but he  _felt_  her eyes watching them,  _him_. He rubbed his hand across the back of his head.

 _She's just concerned about your safety. As a friend. As any friend would be._  But though he tried to convince his heart, it whispered  _yes, but_   _maybe there's something more here_. Donatello sighed, steadying himself.  _Now's not the time._   _I'll sort this out later,_  he thought resolutely.

* * *

While his brothers were waiting in the alley for April to pick them up, Leonardo was pulled upright in his cell by the soldiers remaining behind after Shredder walked out. As he sat up, his stomach lurched and he retched and vomited onto and over his arm just as he managed to turn his head. The alcohol burned as much coming up as it did going down. The contents of his stomach sprayed over one of the soldiers who scrambled backwards, but not before he was drenched in the reeking fluids.

"Ugh! Son of a bitch!"

"Go change," another said, this one wearing his mask, "you don't want to miss what Shredder's planning for this freak."

Their voices seemed to come from far off and were distorted to his ears. Leonardo felt a little better after vomiting but still felt as if he were sitting on a pitching boat. A boat that was also spinning. His head bobbed and swayed left and right. Exhaustion weighed upon his aching limbs, yet his heart didn't seem to want to beat normally. It hammered and skipped within his chest. He leaned his shoulder heavily against the ninja as he wrapped the rope around his tingling wrist; pulling it tight. His left wrist's wounds from the handcuff from earlier cracked and began to bleed again; a slow red trickle over the back of his hand. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he blearily registered that it stung. He noticed the skin of all of his fingers were black. His vision doubled. Now there were two sets of hands. He blinked hard, trying to focus, but it was impossible.

"Come on, come on. In here, hurry up," someone said from the doorway.

The man tying his hands twisted to look at who was entering.

"Jaime, are you fucking kidding me?" he asked and stood up leaving Leonardo to sway and bob where he sat, barely clinging to consciousness. "What is she doing here?"

The outlines of the bricks wavered and blurred. The room tilted as his head spun. Leonardo turned his face to see who was entering and the floor pitched violently. He grunted and brought his bound hands to the right to stop from falling over.

A blond haired woman wearing shiny black stilettos and a tight black dress tip-tapped into the room. She stepped closer and crouched. Her dress was a very low-cut v-neck and as she leaned, Leonardo couldn't help but notice her ample breasts spilling forward. Her flesh barely captured by the edge of red lacey fabric beneath. He blinked rapidly and couldn't stop the color from blooming across his battered cheeks. He turned his wavering gaze away from her rounded, white skin. On one side, she wore a gold name tag with a small insignia of the Foot in one corner. He focused on the badge and tried to read the name inscribed on it, but found he couldn't make out the letters. They kept dancing and blurring. The woman's eyes were wide, round, her mouth an 'O' as she crept closer to look at Leonardo. Her face was heavily done up with make-up, lips a dark red. Her face swam in front of Leonardo like a ghostly clown.

He swallowed the bitter taste in his mouth still burning the roof of his mouth and tongue. Digging his heels into the floor, he wobbled and inched back away from her and her curious expression until the back of his shell struck the wall. Another wave of nausea hit him and he brought up his tied hands and held the back of one against his mouth.  _Go away_ , he thought.

The two soldiers argued heatedly in mumbling voices in one corner. Her eyes roamed over his body. It was as if she were looking at some strange alien or animal she'd never seen before; fascinated and repulsed by what she saw. She wrinkled her nose as she took in the lacerations and welts from the whip covering his thighs and legs. She tilted her head and crept closer, nearly touching his bleeding leg. He frowned as he followed her line of sight. An uneasy feeling swept through his stomach blending with the feeling of nausea.

"So, where is it anyway?" she asked them in a light sing-song voice. To Leonardo's ears, it was too loud, grating in tone, the words made no sense to him. The sound of her voice traveled, distorted and twisted as it hit his inebriated mind. He winced as his head pounded. The two men turned at once at her question.

"Where is what?" The soldier who tied Leonardo's wrist asked coldly in a clipped voice.

She pointed towards his crotch, "You know, his turtle thingy." She giggled. "Jaime said I could see his gross cock, like that one video we saw. The one with the turtle trying to fuck that ball." She giggled again and it was an obscene noise.

The man groaned and turned to his companion, "Are you fucking kidding me, Jaime? Shredder will hand our asses to us if he finds out."

Jaime shrugged, "Can't argue with the lady. She wanted to see him for herself. Besides, she said she'd come home with me after her shift if I let her have a peek."

He nudged the other soldier with his elbow. Then turned. He ran over and crouched next to Leonardo and the woman. He lifted his chin, examining Leonardo.

Leonardo shifted nervously as they stared at his body. He brought his shaking and bloody legs together as he turned away from them, facing the wall. He didn't understand what exactly they wanted from him, their words were not making sense in his drunken mind, but he'd had enough of their staring. At least the room didn't seem to spin quite as much when he wedged his forehead into the corner. The bricks were cool against his sweating brow. He just wanted his heart rate to slow down and the effects of the alcohol Shredder forced into him to ease. He was so tired, yet it was galloping in his chest. What he wanted more than anything was a drink of water. His tongue felt huge and cottony inside his mouth.

He felt them prying at his shell with their fingers. Why couldn't they leave him in peace? He growled softly too exhausted to do more than that. Even that slight sound vibrated painfully through his aching head. The soldier reached out and grabbed his knee and yanked it back, forcing him to turn again in their direction. The rough motion caused his stomach to heave and bright spots to erupt and swirl in front of his vision.

"Gotta be there somewhere. I think it's tucked away."

"Ew, can you imagine? I wanna see it," she giggled again and it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. "Does he even have one? How did Karai do it with him?"

Her name stood out clearly from the mumbling haze that surrounded him. The sound of it sang through his mind like steel blades being unsheathed. His blood rushed in his ears as he sat up abruptly, making his head spin. He fought to ignore it.

 _Karai!_   _Where was she? Was she okay? What had they done to her?!_

His rumbling, feral growl filled the room. The people shrank away and gasped. With a fierce snarl, he lurched forward onto the man. The woman squealed and scrambled backwards after falling on her rump. He grabbed at the soldier's face, yanking at the material of his mask, ripping it free, and then slamming the sides of his fists against the man's face and ear as he turned to block Leonardo's blows. The other soldier suddenly loomed over where he clumsily grappled with the one named Jaime. A fist came down on top of his head, once, twice. Stars exploded across his vision as he was struck on the corner of his eye. Blood ran down the side of his face. He winced and fell to the floor. They wasted no time and took turns kicking him over and over. He writhed and moaned piteously as he endured their cruelty, too weak to even turn his shell to them to absorb the attack.

Where was Karai? Why wasn't she helping him? Was it all true? He moaned in pain; lost in his despair. Another blow struck him viciously in the leg. A cry of pain broke from his mouth as the sharp pain flew up his leg and into his side. The torn muscle trembled. The hot blood spilled over his thigh from the gash made by Shredder's whip. His battered body couldn't take much more abuse. His spirit was beginning to break beneath the weight of despair and anguish. His abused mind cried out for the comfort of his love.

_Karai, where are you? Help me! Was it all a lie? Everything we shared? Where are you?_

The blows eased off just as another voice filled the room. It came from a speaker in the top corner of the wall.

"All soldiers report to dojo. The celebration is about to begin."

* * *

Weapons out and ready, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo slipped into the reception area of the building. Holding their breath, eyes darting everywhere, they crept along one wall, behind a set of leather couches and potted exotic plants and small tropical trees. After a moment, they eased out from the shadows. Their feet padded softly against the marble flooring. They stopped and stood openly in the center of the intricately decorated area. They exchanged worried glances. Donatello rushed over to the reception desk. He scattered papers around and looked up with a shrug.

"Where is everyone?" Raphael asked, as he turned in a circle, sais twisting nervously in his fingers. His eyes shot over his shoulder every few minutes towards the front entranceway, but no one exited or entered.

"Stay alert," Donatello said as he sat down in the receptionist's chair. "Comfy," he said absentmindedly and began typing on a keyboard. Above him and to the left and right of the main desk were two television screens mounted on the wall on an angle. A loop of the Foot insignia along with propaganda flashed through on a repeat. "Let's see if I can find something on where they've got Leo."

"I don't like this," Raphael said.

"Yeah, it's like,  _too_ …"

"Don't say it, Mikey."

Michelangelo nodded. He brought his thumb and fingers together and pantomimed pulling a zipper closed over his mouth. They certainly didn't need their luck jinxed.

* * *

The Shredder watched his daughter as she emerged from her room. The mask held in her hands as she walked as if in a dream. Slowly she raised her eyes to her father. The whites of her eyes were bloodshot. She had been crying.

"Will you . . . have mercy?" she asked him in a small voice. A voice so unlike her usual smirking, confident tone. Shredder was at once pleased at her obedience and disquieted by her complete submission to him. In time this will pass, he reassured himself. He wanted her brash and confident self to mature, not vanish. She would need that strength to lead their clan. They stepped towards the elevator together.

"Why does the creature deserve mercy from us, after all he has done to our family?"

Karai kept her eyes forward. "He was gentle with me, father." She felt his body stiffen next to her, but before he could respond, she raised her wrist, still in the cast. "He cared for me and kept me safe when he could've easily turned me in to the police. He may be only a creature to you…but he has honor…"

The Shredder huffed. "He is an animal, daughter. Animals know nothing of honor."

The elevator dinged softly and the doors slid open. They stepped inside; stood shoulder to shoulder; father and daughter; in silence as the elevator descended.

"Please," it was a whisper of air slipping from between her lips.

When he said nothing more, Karai raised the mask and snapped it in place as her eyes filled with tears. She had to be braver now than she'd ever been before in her life. If her father would offer Leonardo no mercy, then it was up to her. He was beyond rescue at this point. Of that there was no doubt. She tightened her fists at her side; her nails digging into the flesh of her palms. She prayed she'd be strong enough to end his suffering when the time came.

* * *

The hallway stretched out unnaturally in front of him like something from a nightmare. But this was no dream. The walls besides him wavered and refused to stand still. The fluorescent lights above his head seemed too bright and blinding. The light made long lines of bright streaks with each step he took; it hurt his eyes and they watered as he blinked. At least, he told himself it was the lights making his eyes water and not the fact that he understood this was the end. He was taking his last breaths, feeling the last of his heart beats; all that and the fact that he'd never see her again. Nor his brothers or father. He let them all down. He was weak. His weakness brought shame to his family. He closed his eyes against the pain in his heart as it constricted within his chest at the thought. His feet stumbled for a moment and he lurched to one side against the soldier to his left. He roughly righted Leonardo with a shove.

The door at the end of the hallway approached; it twisted and danced with each staggering step he took. The two soldiers from the cell flanked him and the blond woman tittering with excitement and adrenaline chattered endlessly in a high excited voice that droned on and on in his ears from behind him. At times her talking was punctuated with her clapping her hands together like an over-excited toddler.

He could never be labeled as a violent person. Raphael held that title with pride. No, his temper was something he controlled and fury was something he channeled into more productive action, always. But right at this moment, he'd have gladly run his sword through the center of her throat to silence her. As if reading his thoughts, the men shoved him forward. His knees shook and he thought he'd fall, but they caught his shoulders and pushed him onward.

They opened the door and he was ushered inside a large room. The overwhelming noise of hundreds of people gathered; talking, laughing, shouting, washed over him. Suddenly they all turned to look at him. Icy fear immobilized him as his feet stuttered to a halt. All the noise muted suddenly as terror filled him. He was frozen to the spot. He couldn't move but he felt himself start to sweat and tremble like a frightened child in the dark. For a second he thought he might vomit again.

 _No_.

He dropped his eyelids closed and took a shaky breath then bit his tongue,  _hard_. His mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood. The pain focused him. He was not a coward. So, let this be his last stand. He would face whatever they had in store for him with courage. He was a warrior, the leader of his clan, chosen by his father.

His chest tightened at the sudden thought of Splinter. Images of his beloved Sensei flashed across his mind's eye. Lingering finally on the last moments he'd spent with him. Their angry argument and terrible fight. He had avoided going home; avoided facing him and now he'd never get the chance to apologize. The shame and despair bore down on him and his throat tightened and his eyes burned. It was nearly enough to break the little strength he desperately was trying to gather around himself. His legs wobbled. A small sound, a mix of a wheeze and a whimper fought through his constricting throat. His hands clenched into fists so tightly his knuckles turned a pale green.

_Hold it together, Leo. Stay strong. For honor. For your brothers. For Father._

His escort shoved him hard; moved him forward again through the subdued crowd and they parted as he passed like paparazzi for a celebrity. The room and all the occupants spun and his vision doubled. He stared at the floor before him. It only helped a little, but it was better than trying to focus on the black ninjas swarming around him. His feet padded against and sunk into the mats and dimly he was aware that he'd entered their training center. They came to a stop. He raised his eyes. He blinked and his vision focused. The Shredder stood before him. Next to him, in full Foot uniform and wearing a matching mask as her father, stood Karai.

His knees turned to water and buckled as all the strength fled from him in a rush. He fell forward, kneeling before her. His wide eyes strained and searched hers for  _any_  sign,  _anything_  that revealed the truth; that what he was seeing before him now was the lie and not the love they shared. But her eyes were in shadows, unreadable above that awful gleaming mask. She stood silently next to the Shredder, unmoving, uncaring. An exquisite living statue. His mouth opened and somewhere from far away he heard a noise. A terrible keening cry that couldn't have come from him. A wordless howl of unequivocal pain. No, he wasn't capable of making such a desperate, agonized noise.

Shredder's voice boomed, "Foot ninjas, today we celebrate a great victory!"

Shredder wrapped his arm around Karai's back, his hand rested on her shoulder as he continued. Leonardo's body started to shake as he knelt watching, frozen; unable to turn away from the hideous sight before him; feeling as if his heart was being ripped and rendered to pieces within him.

"Only through my daughter's  _unyielding_  devotion to our cause and masterful kunoichi skills have you been given this prize! The leader of our most hated enemy captured at his weakest moment and brought before you! Well done, Karai!"

The crowd erupted in cheers, chanting her name. The sound roared around him, over him; like a black wave from some evil ocean, swallowing him, drowning him.

Leonardo pitched forward onto his bound hands, unable to stay upright any longer. He couldn't breathe. The cry he'd made squeezed all the breath he had within his shaking, broken body. His mind commanded he breathe, but his lungs refused to take in air. His physical body rejecting the notion of continuing to live after such a horrifying event, choosing instead to die. Right here, at her feet. He would not take another breath with the knowledge that her love for him was a lie. He could not exist in a world where she did not love him, let alone a world where she used their tender love as a weapon to destroy him.

Something wet was falling on the back of his hands. Tears? No, he couldn't cry! Not now, not in front of them! He dropped his forehead down onto his clutching hands and stayed there, quaking and sobbing quietly despite the voice in his mind ordering, commanding, finally  _begging_  for him to stand up and face this as a true warrior. But he couldn't move.

He was broken. Fully and completely broken.

* * *

Raphael gasped as the looping images ended, replaced by a steady video feed from somewhere in the building. A familiar voice suddenly spoke out from the screens above where Donatello sat utterly engrossed in the computer before him. Michelangelo followed his gaze up to the screens. He brought his trembling hand up to his mouth.

"Oh no."

"Donnie," Raphael's voice came out strangled.

"Give me a  _second_ , I think I can figure out where in the building is most likely to be where they've got him."

 _"Donnie!"_ Raphael shouted.

Annoyed, Donatello looked up, then upon seeing the pale faces of his brothers, slowly stood. He turned and looked at the screens behind him. There was Leonardo. On his hands and knees before the Shredder and Karai. Dimly he made out the announcement that Shredder was giving to his ninja clan. Donatello's heart shrunk. His stomach twisted. Everyone had been right. Karai had betrayed Leo. Seduced him and then used his love and trust against him as a cruel weapon. And now he was going to die.

"Oh god, Leo. They're going to butcher him," Donatello whispered.

Raphael felt his rage boiling up within him. He clenched his jaw.

"Not if we can help it. Let's get our brother."

* * *

**A/N: What do you think? Oo, April, why are you sending mixed messages to Donnie!? Also, I swear I was going to try and work in the receptionist saying she thinks that Karai was drugged by Leo and that's how he got her to be intimate, but I decided I didn't want to insult Mikey by equating his thought process with that skank, lol.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oo, April, why are you sending mixed messages to Donnie!? 
> 
> Also, I swear I was going to try and work in the receptionist saying she thinks that Karai was drugged by Leo and that's how he got her to be intimate, but I decided I didn't want to insult Mikey by equating his thought process with that skank, lol.


	19. Party Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Splinter mulls over his mistakes. Shredder throws a party. A three-some try to crash the party with mixed results.

_"She'll tear a hole in you -_

_one you can't repair..._

_But I still love her -_

_I don't even care."_ The Lumineers _\- Stubborn Love_

* * *

 

The lair lay in stillness aside from the gentle click clack of Master Splinter's claws along the cracked and stained linoleum floor of their kitchen. Absentmindedly, he brushed his fingers across the top of the note Raphael had scribbled explaining that they had gone to retrieve Leonardo from the Foot. With distant eyes, he poured the tea into the chipped mug and turned to sit. He stared into the swirling steam and held the mug with two hands. The heat permeated his palms, soothing the aches within the swollen joints; grounding him. His eyes stared at the note, then drifted to the fur covering his wrists and hands and fingers. In places it was thinning and the bare pink flesh beneath was papery and thin. Light bluish veins stood out in contrast. His age was showing, had been showing for quite some time now. Weariness sat upon his shoulders like an old friend's embrace.

Slowly, his attention turned to the empty lair spread out before him. Empty and foreboding, it sat brooding; the stillness like a hollow presence and it cast judgment upon him with silent reproach.

What had he done?

_Leonardo, ah, my pride._

None of his children showed more devotion to him, more commitment to earning and keeping his praise than his eldest son. He seemed to yearn for it, crave it; and was devastated any time he sensed the slightest disappointment Splinter may have shown. And secretly, Splinter craved the loyalty and deference he gave willingly with his whole heart. His love was rich and deep, close to a reverence; to lose that intense attachment to someone else; someone not worthy of it…

_I'm an old fool. A jealous wretch._

He had expected so much from his adopted children. Demanded so much. And they gave him all they could. Each battle; for him. Each wound and scar endured; for him. Facing their own terror and setting it aside in the name of ideals such as honor and righteousness; all for him. Time and time and time again. Their bodies coming back more broken and bloodied than the last time. Their world a haze of survival and brutality. Why? Because he had trained them towards one purpose. And over the years, that purpose was driven into them. Defeat the enemy; crush the opponent. There was no room for anything else. Until…

It had begun with April coming into their lives. Disrupting the natural order of their routines and purpose. Donatello was the first to notice the change she brought to their home, the first to succumb to the charms the opposite sex held; the first to really step outside of the strict pattern of existence he'd set before them. The first to seek out something…more. And he saw it come over all of them, then. She opened the Pandora's Box to their loneliness and secret desires. April brought with her something very dangerous and unique. She brought within her … the  _possibility_. He swept his claw over his eyes as he dropped his head.

_Leonardo, my poor son. With your pure heart so noble, I should have known eventually you would seek something I could not give you…a love…a place within a woman's heart. The only thing you ever asked of me. You asked me and I denied you. But she deceived you. Used the cruelest deception against you…your own heart._

He slammed his fist down upon the table. The tea inside the mug sloshed and spilled over the rim. He stared at the small pool around the base of the mug without really seeing it. He sighed and closed his eyes. He should have anticipated that the strongest among them would fall the furthest; the hardest. He shifted in his seat. But how could he have guessed this would happen? April was the exception, she could be dismissed as he saw the feelings Donatello possessed for her were not returned by her. It was a monumental relief to him.

The possibility of love for his sons, let alone physical love, was beyond ridiculous. And yet…and yet. The world was a funny place. Full of impossible and ridiculous things.

He stood, the tea forgotten, cooling on the table, untouched. He walked as in a dream to the dojo. He crossed the worn mats; the ghosts of his children training moved around him; their shadows and voices drifted as he approached the weapons wall to collect Leonardo's mask from the sword hilt. He clutched it in his fist.

He should have anticipated this. He should have prepared his son for any trickery the enemy had in store for him. That Leonardo fell victim because of a softness within his heart only enraged him. He understood the reasons. It did not make the situation easier to face. A fury burned within, directed at Karai for exploiting him, his son for falling so easily, but mostly, directed at himself for not helping his son through this awful confusion and most bitter deceit.

When his sons returned he would fix this. He would right what he had done and heal his family once more. Perhaps, one day, Leonardo would understand his reasons. Perhaps, one day, Leonardo would be able to forgive his father. He could only cling to the regretful hope of a wounded father.

* * *

Karai stared at Leonardo and her vision was that of looking through a long dark tube. He knelt at one end of the darkened tunnel. He stood out in stark relief before her; kneeling like he was her slave and she, his master. His body language cried out to her for salvation; salvation that only she could bring to him. As his desperate eyes search for a sign from her, she felt frozen in place. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. She couldn't even close her eyes against the accusation and despair she saw clearly written in his searching gaze. The pain that he'd endured was painted in cruel strokes over his face and body in crimsons and black, blues and grey. Her soul ached for him. Her heart bled for his pain.

She heard the keening wail of his broken heart rise from Leonardo's throat and it nearly broke her resolve. It took every ounce of strength she had not to collapse on to him; comforting him; rescuing him from this hell. But she understood that if she so much as trembled, the delicate façade her father orchestrated would fall away, exposing both her and him to the vicious mob surrounding them. They would both be torn to pieces. Numbly she felt her father's arm go around her shoulders. Dimly and from far away she made out the words her father was saying.

"Only through my daughter's  _unyielding_  devotion to our cause and masterful kunoichi skills have you been given this prize! The leader of our most hated enemy captured at his weakest moment and brought before you! Well done, Karai!"

_Oh yes, well done, indeed. Look at what you've done, Karai. See the only one you've ever loved destroyed before you. I should have protected him. Why didn't I protect him?_

The chanting of her name rose up and hit her like a physical force; mocking her pain, sealing the betrayal in her lover's heart, she was sure. Anger and rage boiled within her chest. Beneath her mask she sneered at the gathered men.  _What sheep they were to believe anything her father said. The barest of lies convinces them,_ she thought viciously. She despised them all; if they only knew. But truly, who she despised the most was herself for not being stronger, not being smarter. With glazed eyes and a chilled heart, she watched Leonardo pitch forward and crumble at her feet and the anguish he displayed was matched within her soul.

_My love, why didn't I protect you better?_

* * *

The Shredder moved his arm from her shoulder and kicked Leonardo savagely, striking him under his arm. The force of it rolled him into the crowd.

"Enjoy your prize, my soldiers!" Shredder called out.  _"Play!"_

The men fell on him with barbaric glee.

* * *

They followed the roaring sound to the source. They stood outside a set of double doors. Before Raphael strode forward, Donatello placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. He turned his face, his expression twisted in rage.

"We still have to be careful, there are hundreds of soldiers in there."

Donatello indicated a doorway marked 'maintenance' off to their left. They hurried inside where they found access to the exposed ceiling above the dojo. Metal piping and duct work covered the expanse. Quickly and silently they crept over the crowd.

Raphael and Donatello gasped softly at the same time. Michelangelo bit his tongue to silence the cry that threatened to break free from his mouth as he turned his face in the direction his brothers were staring. He spotted the battered and bloodied figure of his brother being bandied around through the crowd of men. Leonardo seemed frail and shrunken somehow. He wasn't fighting back, he was barely standing on his own, supported mostly by the rough hands of his attackers. It was as though the will to fight had been beaten out of him.

"Leo, no," he whispered.

They punched him, kicked him and somehow worse than all that, they slapped and backhanded his face over and over; taunting him with leering and vile phrases. The horrible laughter rose up and crushed his heart. A fury rose inside him the likes of which he had never felt before. His fists shook as he gripped his nunchucks. He would bash their skulls in for this humiliation of his big brother, his hero. Every single one of them.

* * *

Karai turned away from the nightmare-like scene playing out before her. Her stomach heaved. When she left her room to accompany him to the dojo, she had thought her father would order her to simply kill him. But apparently he'd decided that Leo would be beaten to death before her. She tried looking everywhere except at what was happening to her love. Her eyes rose to the ceiling and grew wide as she spotted the three shadows moving overhead. She pulled out of her father's grasp. Shrugging off his arm. She felt him grip her shoulder. She looked at him; their eyes met.

"Karai," he handed her his dagger, the hilt decorated with jade inlay, "you wished for mercy for him. I will allow you to end his torment. You may bestow upon him an honorable death."

Too angry and disgusted with him to feel grateful, she took the blade from him and marched through the crowd. The screaming taunts and peals of laughter died away as she approached Leonardo who was currently supported between two soldiers. His face swollen and bleeding from the injury to his eye and a river of blood pouring out from his blackened lips. His legs shook and he sagged in their grip as she stood in front of him. Suddenly, she kicked him across the face and he spun out of their grasp to the floor.

With shaking arms he braced his still bound hands to the mat and tried to rise. His head hung low, nearly touching the mat in front of his hands. His breath ragged and labored.

"You're weak. Pathetic!" she cried and kicked him again, this time in his side, making him roll over onto his shell.

His eyes rolled back into his head. Her heart pinched tightly.  _I'm so sorry, my love._  She had knocked him away from the main group. The men having pulled back and away to watch in uneasy silence at her performance. She prayed that they were too stupid to notice her shaking hands or the tears in her eyes. The ninjas had to buy this act. If she did this just right, his brothers would have a better chance of rescuing him. She marched up to him, straddled him with her legs and held the point of her dagger in front his throat.

He blinked rapidly at her, trying to focus his vision on her face. Through his battered eyes, he stared at her. Her heart clenched as she watched tears well and spill out from the sides of his eyes; painting his grim and blood covered face in twin streaks of paler green. He raised his trembling hands up and clumsily held the blade between his blackened fingers. He pulled it forward. His throat worked. Karai's eyes widened as he pulled it closer still, until the tip bit into the soft flesh of his throat below his Adam's apple. Horror iced her bones. He wanted to die. He wished for his torment to be over. He wanted her to do it.

 _Oh, my love. They've used me to break you,_ she thought as the deepest, most regretful sorrow she'd ever felt slid through her soul.

 _"K-Karai . . . love . . .you,"_ he choked the slurred words out in a ragged whisper while pulling the dagger towards him again until a pearl of blood formed at the point of the blade meeting his flesh.

She shook her head; felt the tears falling trailing beneath the mask she wore. How could he still love her after all he'd been through because of her? She gritted her teeth; yanked the dagger away from his throat, pulled it back and slashed downwards, freeing his hands from the ropes that bound them together.

Darkness enveloped them.

* * *

Raphael watched in horror and growing fury as Karai kicked Leonardo; knocking him free from the soldier's grasps. He felt Michelangelo stiffen next to him on the pipes as they crept closer. He shook as she approached Leonardo and said something about him being pathetic and struck him again and again. Leonardo stumbled and collapsed to the mats; exhausted and bloody. The soldiers fell away and formed a distant semi-circle around her and Leonardo. Karai and Leonardo were now just below where he and Michelangelo crouched on one of the larger metal pipes. His knuckles paled as he tightened his grip on the hilt of his sais. He watched her raise the blade to his brother's throat. He was going to skin that bitch alive! She better pray they never, ever cross paths in a dark alley.

Donatello blew out a stuttering nervous breath. He nodded to his brothers who were suspended directly above where Leonardo lay between Karai's legs. He clipped the last of the wires together then with a snip he cut the power to the lights. Darkness descended. Two soft thuds sounded as his brothers leapt to the mats below. A collective gasp rose up from the crowd below. But these were ninja and a little darkness would not distract them for long. Reaching into the small bag stitched to his belt, he closed his hands over three small round objects. Deftly, he twisted the top of each one as he dropped them into the yawning black below.

* * *

Karai straightened and twisted. Her eyes were blinded by the sudden disappearance of the lights. She blinked rapidly and sensed two forms hit the mats near her. There was a sound of scuffling and she felt an arm knock her across her face. Stars exploded in front of her vision. The force of the blow knocked her down, her mask broke free from her face and bounced away in the darkness, the dagger still held tightly in her fingers. Dazed, she brought the back of her hand up to wipe her face. Blood trickled from her nose. She felt the air change as several men rushed by her.

There was a cracking, popping sound and suddenly the room was filled with a series of blinding strobe lights and gray smoke. She blinked rapidly as she tried to make out what was happening before her. Soldiers fell back hard onto the mats even as more rushed forward. Her body was pushed and shoved, kicked and knocked into and her hand was stepped on at one point. She turned; scrambled to get away from the hub of activity.

Dodging and covering her head at times as she made her way through the chaos. Grunts and pained groans, shouts, strangled curses and an agonized scream filled the air around her. It was madness. She was surrounded by smoke and noise and fury and fighting. She looked to where Leonardo had laid only seconds before to find the space empty.

As fast as it started, the action died away replaced by general confusion and frustrated shouts. She stood and glanced around; the strobe lights were fading. Her father was at one end of the room shouting something to the groups of men going to the aid of their fallen comrades. Shakily, she rose to her feet. She tossed her father's dagger away. She saw her opportunity and made a mad dash for the exit. They had him and she had to get to him before they were gone. She ran down the hallway; her boots squeaked as she slid to a stop. Her face shot around; searching. There! A thin trace of blood. She swallowed and raced on, following the grim trail.

* * *

The rain had started not long after the guys had vanished from the alley. April pushed the button on her radio station, not really listening, but searching for some distraction to the tedium and worry that weighed on her. Movement caught her eye and sure enough they were coming. She pulled open her door and ran around to the opposite side of the van. Raphael and Michelangelo were huffing and carrying Leonardo; his head lolling against his chest; arms slung over his brother's shoulders as they ran towards her.

As they approached April's breath caught as her heart sank. Leo was in terrible shape and unconscious. Raph and Mikey were covered in fresh bruises and bleeding gashes. Raphael's face was a mask of gore. He was bleeding from a deep laceration across the top and side of his face. It looked as if a sword had caught him on the top of his head and as he pulled back, it dug in and traveled down his cheek. It missed his left eye by half an inch. The tattered remains of his mask hung over one shoulder. The rain drops were mixing with the gore and his face was streaked and hideous looking.

"Oh god," she turned, one hand pressed against her mouth. Dread filled her. She looked down the alley from where they came as they gently placed Leo inside the van. Softly she asked, "Where's Donnie?"

* * *

Donatello limped along the hallway. He leaned heavily on his bo staff as he went. He had fallen behind only after he secured the doorway of the Foot's dojo with a small trigger bomb. It would activate as soon as the doors opened out. He glanced at the wound on his right thigh. The cut was deep and the blood was rushing from him a little quicker than he would have liked. He was leaving a wide trail of blood in his wake. Well, nothing he could do about that right now.  _Have to get out…_

He stuttered to a halt as he turned the corner, spotting Karai looking around just a few feet ahead of him. His head spun. What should he do? Should he attack her? Before he could decide, she dashed away. He followed her. A loud explosion sounded behind him. He smiled grimly, but hurried his limping pace. He emerged from the back of the building just behind Karai. She spun around to face him.

"Where is he?" she shouted at him.

"You've got nerve asking that," he said quietly. He was starting to feel light headed. He shook his head stubbornly.

She turned away and ran towards the alley. Digging deep, Donatello pulled his reserved strength and sprinted in front of her. He wiped out his bo horizontally, blocking her path; panting heavily. The alley spun. She pushed against him; he forced her roughly back with a grunt. She moved to one side, he jumped in front of her. A low growl of warning erupted from him.

"Get out of my way," she said, menace dripping from her voice.

"No. You're going to turn around and leave it, Karai."

He expected her to fight, he expected her to struggle, he expected her to yell and curse. He did not expect her to fall to her knees in front of him. Shocked, he lowered his staff; feeling unsure and suddenly very confused. She looked up at him and her face was a mask of tormented sadness. His breath hitched. Tears streaked down her cheeks.

" _Please_ , Donatello. I need to see him. I-I need to tell him -"

Donatello shook his head, eyes wide. Just when he was convinced it was all deception. What trick was this now?

"You . . . you  _betrayed_  him," he said, voice cracking, exposing the hurt he felt for his brother's betrayal and loss, the hurt he nursed for his own romantic pain. And yet . . . something told him it was all wrong. He'd seen her attacking Leonardo, but then again, she was moving him away from the crowd. Better positioning him for their rescue. Could she have seen them? Everything was suddenly upside down and backwards. Nothing made sense. Maybe it was just the blood loss. Fierce dizziness swept over him and he leaned over to press on his wound and catch his breath. He didn't have time for this. She crept closer, still on her knees and grabbed his staff with two hands.

"You don't understand. M-My father, Shredder…"

He blinked in horrified surprise at this news.

"I couldn't let him . . . hurt Leo . . . not like that, not the way he had planned."

"Well you didn't do a very good job of  _protecting_  him  _did_  you?" he snapped, suddenly very angry and very, very tired. "If you cared so much about him, why did you just stand there? Hell, why did you attack him?"  _She was helping, she was pushing him closer to Raph and Mikey,_ a voice rose up in his mind but he shoved the thought away. It was hard to concentrate.

She only shook her head. "I need to talk to him,  _please_."

Donatello pulled his staff roughly away from her grasp. He shook his head. His stomach heaved. He took a trembling breath and said, "No."

Her face fell into an expression of pure anguish. The rain drops spattered against her cheeks, mixing with her tears. Donatello took no comfort in her pain. Though a dim part of his mind told him that she was getting was she deserved. And yet…and yet…something wasn't fitting in this puzzle. If he could only think straight, he'd see it. The answer was right in front of him, it was just obscured. He couldn't waste any more time on this. It wouldn't take the Foot much longer to regroup after the explosion. He had to go  _now_!

"You . . . stay away from Leonardo." He panted, licked his lips. "Understand me? Or we'll come after you." He backed up, swaying a little. The alley tilted and it was hard to stay upright. He had to go. He had to make his point clear. "We'll come after you and . . . I won't stop him . . . Raphael." He had to go  _now_.

 _The red one, the wild one; the one that took out the elite alone,_ she thought grimly. She nodded, the point was made and understood.

"F-Fine. Just . . . just tell him?"

He had a feeling he'd regret asking but couldn't stop himself, "Tell him what?"

"That I  _never_  betrayed him."

Donatello's eyes grew round. His body went cold.

"That I  _love_  him and  _always_  will. Please tell him, Donatello."

He backed up and turned and ran as fast as he could away from her; feet splashing through the small puddles forming in the alley. He still heard her calling out her plea for him to promise to tell Leonardo as he dashed away. The world swam around him. He closed his eyes against the burning image of Karai confessing her love to him. A blended mess of anger, confusion, denial, and sadness swept through him.

Why could nothing be simple for them? Why did fate torment him and his brothers? What was he going to do? What was he going to say to Leo? What . . .?

The edges of his vision began to blacken and he took a few more wavering steps only to feel his knees buckle. He fell forward…and was caught in someone's arms. Blearily he looked up and his sight was met with the sweetest green eyes he'd ever seen. The eyes of the woman whom he'd always love, no matter what. His heart sang with exhausted relief and sweet sadness.

" _April_ ," he said as she clutched him close to her body; her arms around him.  _God, I love you,_ he thought; wanted to say it aloud, but sunk into her softness and was swept away by darkness.

* * *


	20. Stolen Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donatello makes a decision that he may come to regret. More mixed signals from April has his heart jumping to conclusions, and Leo's nightmares are just the beginning of his recovery. Finally, Leo admits the worst of all his injuries lies within his broken heart.

**Chapter 20 - Stolen Moments**

* * *

Movement and rocking, it was nice. Warm here. Safe here. Donatello's eyes opened a crack to see his youngest brother holding him like a baby, cradling him. Blue eyes, wide and fearful shot to him from the face above. He was saying something to him. Donatello frowned. His mind was a jumble of images that didn't make sense. April…why was he thinking of April? When was he not? With a very dry tongue, he licked at his bottom lip. His eyes closed then shot open. Wait a minute, why was Michelangelo carrying him? Suddenly his body jerked and he started shaking.

"Easy bro! We're home now! Splinter!" then, "Casey! Am I happy to see you! Here, take care of his leg, okay? I gotta help Raph and April with Leo."

_Wait, Casey? No!_

Casey's arms went around him; under his legs and he fought weakly in the man's strong grip. This was so embarrassing!

"Hey, genius, take it easy. I ain't gonna hurt ya."

Humiliated, he stopped struggling and accepted the help. Casey, limping, carried him into the makeshift infirmary set up in Donatello's workroom. Gently, more gently than Donatello would've given Casey the credit of possessing, he laid him onto a soft cot. The room spun. He laid his head back, trying to process what was going on. Casey was at his side at once, a warm rag in his hand. Donatello winced as he washed the wound and then carefully untwisted the tourniquet just above it, then immediately started to repair the cut. The memories came thundering through his mind along with the pain. Leo…the rescue, the brutal fighting, the soldier's sai ripping through his thigh as he turned to flea with his brothers, the pain, the blood…Karai, her plea to him…to tell Leo that she… _oh god_. He groaned. What was he going to do?

Casey's dark eyes shot up. "Sorry, man. Bein' as gentle as I can. Gotta stitch it, though, it's really deep."

He scrambled to sit up. Casey was stitching his wound?! The room tilted and his stomach turned. Casey put a hand on Donatello's chest, stopping him. He managed to glance down at his leg, the stitching so far was neat and well done. Resigned, surprised and suddenly exhausted, Donatello laid back down. He'd have to get to Leo, check his wounds, see what he needed done soon, though.

* * *

As Casey had rushed past Master Splinter with Donatello cradled in his arms, Splinter turned to the entrance as Michelangelo raced back to help relieve a bloodied Raphael from carrying an unconscious Leonardo into the lair. His breath caught and a strangled sound burst from him as his eyes fell on Leonardo. His legs turned to jelly and he stumbled forward, reaching out to them.

"No," he said feebly as Mikey and April rushed around and past him and carried Leonardo into the infirmary.

Raphael staggered just behind them. Splinter immediately wrapped an arm around his shell and supported him, handed him a small, thick towel to stop the blood from his head wound. With a trembling hand, Raphael held it to his head where it immediately soaked in the blood; the white material changing to deep crimson.

"Raphael!" he gasped.

"I'm okay, Sensei. Looks worse than it is," he said gruffly. Splinter was not so sure.

"And Leonardo, what . . . ?"

Raphael turned his gore covered gaze in his direction. His green eyes were bright with unshed tears. The pain and sadness written in his son's eyes was too much to bear.

"They were . . . they were about to kill him when we got to him." He swallowed. "We made it just in time. He-He was bein' thrown around," his voice caught, but he continued, his voice getting more and more rough as he ground out the scenario, "like a play thing. Toyin' with 'em.  _Humiliatin'_  him, father, in front of . . . of the Shredder. Karai . . . Karai attacked him. She was going to -"

He stopped and stared at Splinter who was shaking and pale next to him.

"You were right, Sensei. She betrayed Leo, just as you feared. Used 'em and then they tried to break 'em." He paused. His expression shifted and wore one that Splinter was hard pressed to ever see on this particular son's face: fear. Raphael's voice whispered as if afraid for anyone to hear what he was about to say.

"Do . . . Do you think they broke 'em, Master Splinter? He-He really loved her."

Splinter had no answer to give his son. Raphael had given voice to his own deepest fear and upon hearing it spoken, couldn't deny it, couldn't make it better, couldn't brush it away with any sage wisdom or hollow advice. The fear reigned supreme between them and they could only clutch each other, standing before the infirmary, shaken and lost. Father and son. In silence they entered the room. Raphael breaking from his grasp to stumbled to the vacated seat on a cot.

* * *

Casey finished wrapping Donatello's leg as they'd brought in Leonardo. He immediately sat up, his head spun as he did. He gripped the edge of the cot and grimaced. Blood loss or no, he had to help Leo. With gritted teeth and a churning stomach, he stood on wavering legs, pushing Casey's shoulder away as he did. Oddly enough feeling slightly better with the motion. His resentment towards the interloper to his sad romance gave him the grit to endure the situation before him better.

"Get out of the way," he said, harsher than he should have considering that Casey had just patched him up and did a good job at that. He brushed away the stab of guilt he felt.

They laid Leonardo down on a cot, still unconscious, still making no sound other than the soft scraping sound of his rough breathing. Michelangelo bit his lip as he and April backed up to survey the damage covering Leonardo. Donatello pushed past them; staggered to Leonardo's side. He leaned heavily on the cot's edge. His leg throbbed in time with his temples. He made a disgusted sigh as he took in the condition of his brother. Moving deftly, he took his pulse, nodded and began mumbling to himself as he traced his fingers over the various injuries covering Leo. They only caught the occasional curse, and a few terms they understood. Raphael entered the room and sat near Casey, where he still crouched on the floor.

"…extensive contusions . . .  _frost bite_ ," he said a note of disbelief and horror in his voice as he lifted Leonardo's limp hand, inspected the blackened fingers, the torn skin around his wrists; his eyes widened for a moment as he noticed the small black tattoo. At first thinking it was another injury of some sort. His heart jumped as the sign came into focus and he recognized the symbol. He felt sick as he set Leo's hand back down, "lacerations . . . possible bruised or broken ribs . . ."

He moved down to Leonardo's legs, his trembling voice rose as he said, "The bastards  _whipped_  him," he gasped as he felt his control slip slightly, "they-they whipped him, like an animal, like a-a . . . " his voice choked and broke off.

After a few seconds, he glanced over his shoulder at his silent family. Their faces pale and horror stricken. April pressed her hand over her mouth, looking like she might be sick any minute. He turned back; braced his palms again on the cot near Leo and leaned his weight onto it; body rigid with fury; shoulders shaking; head spinning.

 _Leo, I'm so sorry you went through this. We should have convinced you sooner. I should have never trusted Karai as you did_.

He felt he pinprick of tears threatening. No. He had to keep it together if he was to be any use to Leo. He swallowed back the bile rising in his throat.

Behind him, Mikey and April exchanged frightened looks. They hugged each other tightly for a moment. April glanced at Casey and Raph. Both were pale and wide-eyed, frozen in place; digesting the information Donatello was giving them. Splinter clutched the door frame where he stood with one claw, his cane with the other with whitened knuckles. He seemed to wither before April's very eyes; wither and age with the weight of the terrible pain Leonardo must have endured.

Donatello balled his hands into fists. This was all Karai's fault. And she claimed to  _love_  him. A lot of good it did Leonardo. Why didn't she protect him?

 _Shredder is her_ father _. She should have done something, anything to prevent him from falling into her father's hands. How could she just stand there as he was humiliated and beaten?_

Donatello's control was fading. He continued to shake from exhaustion and rage. Splinter was right. Maybe not in the way he thought, but in the end, Leonardo only  _suffered_  for loving her. Her love only brought him  _pain_. He rubbed his eyes; rubbed away the tears burning and building there. He'd only keep suffering if he knew the truth. Donatello's stomach sank; he firmly understood at that moment that Leo could  _never_  know that Karai hadn't betrayed him; still claimed to love him. No, he could never give his brother that poison draught of hope that would lead him to pursue Karai and with her, his brutal and certain demise. He would never tell Leonardo what Karai had said to him in the alley. He would die with that awful truth. Leo would be safe for it.

_He will never forgive you if he ever found out the truth. He will hate you._

He sighed as he placed a hand on his brother's cheek. He'd just have to take that chance.

Behind him, April gave Mikey's shoulder a squeeze before turning her attention to Raphael, sitting on the edge of the cot Donatello had vacated. Casey had recovered from his shock and was trying to help him with the wound on his face, but Raphael knocked his hand away roughly.

"Leave it," Raph ground out.

"Just tryin' to help."

Casey stood up. He turned away from Raph, as he did he sighed and raised both eyebrows. April gave him a weak smile. He moved to Mikey and had him sit on a folding chair while he got some bandages. Of them all, Mikey seemed the least hurt. April stepped over to Raphael; sat next to him who was now holding a bloody rag against his head. He was covered in bleeding gashes and bruises and gore. April suppressed a shudder. He still looked better than Leonardo. He turned his face to her, his expression grim.

"He's going to be okay, Raph," she said softly. She pressed her palms together, leaned forward and braced her elbows on her knees; bringing her hands up over her mouth and nose. She watched as Donatello got to work on Leonardo's injuries.

"He's in good hands."

Raph huffed in acknowledgement.

All the while, Master Splinter stood watching from the doorway; tears slipping down the sides of his face; immobilized and afraid to step any nearer to his broken children; the crushing guilt he felt; a physical barrier preventing him from getting any nearer to Leonardo. He could offer no comfort to anyone.

"My son, my son . . ." he repeated softly over and over to himself, shaking his head in mournful denial of the situation.

* * *

The next twelve hours passed in a blur for Donatello as he attended to the wounds on Leonardo's body that he could do something for. Casey and the others moved out of the infirmary to give them room to work. April was a constant help, changing out water, holding scissors, wrapping wounds. She was ever at his side, never in the way, managing to get things for him before the sentence was ever fully out from his mouth. He then turned his medical attention to Raphael, calling him back to the room. He ignored Raphael insistence that he was fine and stitched Raphael's gash, relieved that the wound grew less deep as it traveled down the side of his cheek. There'd be a scar, but not as bad as it could've been.

At one point, Donatello swayed from exhaustion and stumbled into April's body, hard. She helped right him; ignored how embarrassed and flustered he was afterwards. With a small smile she offered him a much needed glass of water; pleaded with him to rest for a bit. Later, she helped Splinter up after having encouraged him back into the room to sit with Leo. He'd then spent the last few hours sitting on the floor next to where Leonardo lay, his hand resting on top of Leo's arm.

Finally, evening gave way to night and the lair grew quiet and still; all wounds were attended to, Leonardo was checked then double checked. Donatello stumbled to the cot adjacent to where Leonardo lay and passed out.

* * *

He didn't know how long he was out, but the room was dark as he felt someone sit on the edge of the cot. Irritated, he opened his mouth to tell whoever it was to leave him be for crying out loud, he was exhausted and needed rest. But he froze as the scent of her hit him like a physical blow. He opened his eyes only a crack as he felt a soft hand press briefly onto his cheek. His heart started to beat frantically and he prayed she couldn't hear it.

_Am I dreaming? What is she doing in here?_

Then to his surprise, he felt her body shift. She laid down next to him, snuggling close to him, nuzzling in between his arm and his body; the side of her face laid on his chest. He was painfully aware of the length of her body; all her soft curves against him; warm and inviting. It felt so right, like home. Now he was sure she could hear his heart hammering away. Her arm went around his chest and he heard her soft, broken intake of breath.

_She's crying._

Cautiously, he brought his arm up and carefully wrapped it around her back, his hand strategically resting only on her shoulder. In the dark, he could just make out her face as she raised it up. A tear upon the curve of her cheek caught a tiny piece of illumination from something and it sparkled in the dark. Her face was very close to his. He felt her breath against his cheek and neck.

"April, it . . . it's going to be okay," he said quietly, thinking her tears were from all the stress.

He tightened his hold around her, daring to press her closer. Still his frantic heart beat wildly within him. Her hand went to his cheek again, he closed his eyes with the contact; her elbow pressed against his chest, he could sense more than see that she was staring up at him. They stayed like that, the moment suspended in silence that stretched out and Donatello wished with all his thundering heart that the moment would never end.

He remembered the nights he'd spent with her when her aunt was away and she was scared and lonely in the dark. She'd only call  _him_. A text; a short message in the evening:  _'You busy?'_  It was all it took to have him racing like a mad fool from the lair to her aunt's apartment. Running as fast as his feet would go, out of breath, but pretending to be calm and unconcerned once he arrived on her fire escape. He'd sit on her bed with her and they'd talk into the late hours of the night; into the early, tender hours of the promising next day.

Sometimes, she'd snuggle closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder or chest, her voice soft and softer still as she'd drift to sleep. Her sweet scent would drift up to him, intoxicating him. He would take the opportunity to rest his mouth against the top of her head; kissing it gently; breathing in her scent, feeling the silk of her hair and the beat of her heart against him. Desire and overwhelming yearning for her keeping him awake all the rest of the night, listening to the gentle rhythm of her breathing; until with dawn, he'd break away, reluctantly, aching for her as he slowly returned home to his empty room, his cold bed. Those precious, sweet moments ended abruptly, were  _stolen_  from him, with the arrival of Casey Jones into their lives.

"When I saw Mikey and Raph with Leo," she said, interrupting the silence and his thoughts just as they were taking a bitter turn. She took in a shuddering breath, "They looked so bad. Then I didn't see you . . . I-I was so  _scared_ , Donnie."

"Leo's gonna be okay. We got to him before . . . before they could do anything worse than what they already did."

She moved her hand from his cheek and placed it once more on his chest. He blinked in the dark in confusion as he felt her shake her head. His eyes now adjusted, he could make out her features better. Her eyes were deep pools, lips in shadow, but close, so close. Risking it, he raised his hand and stroked the back of her head, her locks of hair slipping through his fingers like silk ribbons. A warmth spread through his body, starting in his stomach.

"I was scared for  _you_."

He froze. He swallowed and just when he didn't think his heart could beat any faster, it picked up the pace.

"F-For me?" he asked lamely. His mind raced.

 _What would Casey think about_ that _? What would Casey think about you being here with me now?_

He braced himself as a mix of joy and terror washed through him. There was still a chance; a small thin chance; but a chance all the same. It was now or never. He had to tell her. There'd never be a better time.

His voice came out strained, barely more than a whisper, "April . . . there's something I . . . I want to . . . I need to tell you. I -"

Leonardo suddenly moaned and choked. He jerked and shook his head and then began to thrash wildly.

* * *

The darkness spread across Leonardo's vision. He wasn't sure where he was, but suddenly, he felt her soft arms go around his shoulders from behind. He sighed in relief as his fear dissipated with her touch. He turned around to embrace her. Seeing her beautiful face emerge from the darkness; her mouth spread in a playful smirk; eyes sparkling with mischief and desire; desire for  _him_. She wanted him, he knew it was true. He didn't care why. She wanted him, she loved him; she told him so. He felt his desire burning in his eyes. A feeling of warmth spread through him.

He moved to embrace her but his arms were suddenly pulled up and away from her, his body yanked painfully from her arms. Pain shot through him and he slammed his eyes closed; he groaned and cried out, unable to stop himself.  _Ugh! The pain! Terrible pain!_  It came again and again until finally it eased away and he managed to crack his eyes open a bit. Karai was standing in front of him. A bloodied whip in one hand. The Shredder stood just behind her and his rich laughter surrounded him.

"Again, Karai!" he said, amused.

And she brought the whip around again and again, savagely. Leonardo squirmed and writhed, helpless against the attack. He shook with pain, whimpering and yelping like a wounded animal with each blow, until he finally felt the liquid warmth of his urine mix with his blood as his bladder involuntarily released. The whipping stopped. His legs burned and throbbed. The tremendous pain coursed over his entire quaking body.

"Aw, look, Father, he's wet himself."

He hung his head in mortified shame as Karai and her father laughed at his weakness. His cheeks blushed deeply. Tears streamed from his eyes.

 _"Please stop,"_  he choked out softly.

Karai stepped closer to him. He could smell her woody and flowery perfume over the sickening stench of his blood and urine. His heart hammered. She placed her hand on his cheek and smiled at him. He blinked back the tears and stared into her cold gaze, unable to hide the heart ache and betrayal he was feeling.

"What was that you said, my sweet little  _freak_?"

_Oh god, please, this isn't happening._

She grabbed his face with one hand. "You're weak. Pathetic. You're nothing to me. I was disgusted when you touched me. It was all I could do not to vomit on you."

He cringed away from the cruel words as she released his cheeks and shoved her hands between his legs, digging into him and clutching her fist around his tender flesh. He whimpered from between gritted teeth; his shaking knees coming together; eyes tearing again from the sharp pain.

"Let me make this clear, Leonardo," she spat his name at him, squeezing and twisting with her hand. He felt the hot blood trickle between her fingers and down his trembling legs as her nails dug in. "I fucked you because I  _had_  to. It made me  _sick_  when you were shoving your mutant, freak cock into me."

He moaned and large tears spilled from his eyes; his breath broke into a choked, agonized sob. He closed his eyes trying to block out the spiteful words, the cruelty of her eyes boring into him, her stinging words hurting him more than the whip against his legs. He felt his heart being shredded and torn even as it still beat inside his chest; wounded and struggling to continue to beat.

"Please stop. Please, please stop. Karai, I . . . I  _love_  you."

" _Oh Karai, I love you!"_  Shredder and Karai's laughing voices joined together as they mocked him and imitated him.

* * *

April rolled off the cot and Donatello scrambled up and dashed to Leonardo's cot. As his body thrashed and his head was thrown back, his legs kicked out, slamming against the wall. The bandages around that leg reddened as the blow reopened his wounds.

"What's happening to him?" April asked, next to him, holding Leonardo's ankles down before he could injure himself more. His feet jumped and kicked beneath her hands.

"N-Not sure. Seizure, looks like!"

Leonardo opened his mouth. He gasped and they made out what he was saying as his voice started in a strained whisper then turned into a heart-stopping shriek that frightened and chilled them both to their core.

_"Ungh! P-Please . . . Stop . . . stop ungh! Karai - STOP! Karaaaiiiiii!"_

"Leo!" Donatello yelled as he leaned over his brother. His hands on either side of his face. "Leo, it's okay-it's-okay-you're okay," he repeated rapidly over and over.

Leonardo's body bucked once more, his limbs strained and he fell back, trembling on the cot, but otherwise still. Behind Donatello, Mikey, Raph and Splinter raced into the room, piling in just inside the doorway.

"What's happened!?" Raph asked.

"Seizure. I think . . . I think it's already passing," he said then, "help me roll him to one side. It opens airways, and allows the person to breathe better."

Donatello reached over but stopped suddenly as Leonardo grabbed his arm. Leonardo's blood-shot eyes met Donatello's.

"Leo!"

His family gave a collective gasp.

In a strangled voice Leonardo whispered,  _"thirsty…"_

April raced around Donatello and came back with a glass of water. Donatello helped Leo sit up and gave him a sip, then more, pulling the cup away before he drank too much. Michelangelo sat on the floor by his feet. Raphael stood next to where Donatello crouched. April placed her arm around Splinter who was hanging back, wanting to go to his son, but afraid to crowd him more than he was.

"Easy, Leo. Not too much too soon, okay? How do you feel?"

Leonardo lay back down, closed his eyes and stayed that way so long that Donatello thought he'd fallen back to sleep and Michelangelo and Raphael exchanged uneasy glances.

Finally his mouth opened. His voice was soft, and ragged around the edges, "Tired. Head . . . legs . . . hurting. Hurts when . . . I breathe in."

Donatello and his brothers watched, in frozen silence as he weakly raised one bandaged hand and pointed to his chest, right above his heart.

"Hurts," he said quietly, then made a sound that could have been a chuckle but was more of a broken sigh.


	21. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Facing his father, facing reality, burning away what lingers still to hurt, trying to heal despite being shattered.

_'_ _Part of me has died - and won't return._

_Part of me wants to hide - the part that's burned._

_…Once - Once . . . I would have laid down and died for you…_

_Once - Once . . . but not anymore…'_

- _Once_  by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

**. . .**

_Three Days Later_

. . .

"He's awake. He's waiting to see you," Donatello said to Master Splinter.

Master Splinter nodded slowly. He stared at the tea in front of him, lost in thought.

Donatello held a mug of coffee in his hands as he sat across from his father. He'd been on his leg too much these past few days, it ached something fierce, but it couldn't be helped. Leonardo had wanted to speak to Master Splinter sooner, but Donatello had advised against it. He didn't think Leo was quite strong enough for anything that might be too . . . emotionally draining on him. He nearly demanded to see his father last night so Donatello had relented.

Michelangelo piled the breakfast dishes into the sink. He'd been cooking so much, despite Donatello's warnings that Leonardo wouldn't quite be up for eating anything much until he recovered more. Besides that, Donatello suspected that Leo was suffering from depression from the heartbreak he must be feeling. He didn't speak to anyone except when Donatello asked about his wounds and if he was feeling anything new that he should be aware of. He had only drank some water upon Donatello's firm insistence; and he did that reluctantly. Donatello pushed his worry away. Of course he'd be down. That was to be expected. He just had to keep an eye on his older brother in case it went deeper or darker than just feeling down.

Michelangelo had made Leonardo a plate of breakfast despite his repeated explanation. With a shrug, he scraped it into the trash.

"Maybe he'll be ready for lunch. I'm gonna make a submarine sandwich extraordinaire! He'll have to eat some when he sees it. I'll fill it with all his favorite meats and veggies. He won't be able to resist."

Donatello's thoughts turned to April as Michelangelo went on describing his sandwich. He sighed. She had left a few hours after Leonardo had awaken. She didn't say goodbye to Donatello, he was distracted checking Raphael's bandages in his room when she left. The fact that she didn't say anything left his mind spinning and wondering; his heart confused and bruised.

Master Splinter stood up from the table, the chair legs screeched across the floor and Donatello winced. Splinter crossed to the infirmary. For now, Leonardo was still sleeping in there, but they'd planned on moving him in the next day or so, as soon as he was stronger. Splinter placed a claw against the door, paused for a breath, then opened the door and stepped inside, closing it softly behind him. Leonardo's face shot up. He'd been expecting him; waiting anxiously. He shifted in his cot, trying to sit up straighter as Splinter approached him.

"My son, please, do not strain yourself," he said, hands outreached.

"Hai, Sensei," Leonardo replied, still sitting as straight as possible.

Splinter sighed and sat down in the chair next to Leonardo's cot. He pulled it closer and gazed at his son. His face was drawn and bruised, deep circles filled the pockets beneath his eyes. His arms were covered in wide painful looking bruises; fingers, hands and wrists were wrapped in bandages, his legs as well; from the tops of his thighs down to his calves; one ankle was bound, the other foot was wrapped like his hands, his toes covered in bandages like his fingers. Splinter reached out to lay his hand on top of Leonardo's but drew it back as his son stiffened slightly with the motion.

They both spoke at once, "Sensei, I…" "You have endured so much..."

"Please, speak, my son."

"Sensei. I . . . I am so sorry. I have…brought only sh…shame to our family." Leonardo started in a small voice, interrupted by Splinter's intake of breath. Splinter closed his mouth; shook his head; indicated for him to continue.

"I sh-should have listened to you, Sensei. That day…when you told me…what needed to be done. When y…you warned me. I was wrong to question you. I was wrong to defy you. Sensei . . . you . . . were right. I . . . she . . . she b- _betrayed_ …" his voice choked on the last word.

No, he didn't want it this way. He'd spent the majority of the night rehearsing this apology to Splinter. He wanted to say everything he'd planned to. His throat worked as he tried to get himself under control. But the pain in his heart was too great; it eclipsed his physical pain, made it seem trivial in comparison. With a trembling gaze and a quivering lip, he stared desperately into Splinter's eyes as he struggled to continue to speak, but suddenly two large tears spilled from the corners of his eyes. Splinter stood up from his chair with such force it fell backwards with a loud bang; he wrapped his arms around Leonardo's shaking shoulders. He felt his son's chest heaving beneath his embrace.

"Be still, my son. Be still. It was not your fault. Your heart is good, Leonardo.  _You_  are good, my son. You wanted to believe her love was true. You deserve love, Leonardo. You deserve someone who will love you as sincerely and genuinely as you love her. One day you will find that love. I know you will."

Splinter wanted to hold him and comfort him as he did when Leonardo was a child, so small in his arms. He wanted to chase away the demons hiding in the dark and protect his child from the nightmares in his mind. But now the demons were all too real and the nightmares had come to light, more terrible and undeniable than he ever imagined they could be. But he felt Leonardo's body stiffen beneath his embrace almost the moment he touched him. As he spoke, he felt Leonardo pull back and away from his arms. The movement small but devastating. The action hurt his heart, but he released his son.

He stood back for a moment staring at Leonardo who gazed fixedly at his hands resting on his lap. No more tears fell, but he could see Leonardo's chest heaving as he controlled his feelings; pulled them back; hid them away. Emotions played across his son's face that were too mixed to decipher. But there was still shame and guilt written plainly there. With a deep sigh, Splinter turned and righted the chair, sat once more on it.

"I-I think I need to sleep now, Sensei," his voice was low and unwavering.

"Hai, Leonardo. Rest."

He got up and turned to look at his son once more before exiting the room. Leonardo sat motionless, still staring at his hands, past his hands. A deep sorrow fell over his heart.

_Ah, perhaps, given time, he will forgive me for being right._

* * *

The next night Michelangelo was bringing Leo a bowl of soup when he was stopped by the sight of Master Splinter standing just outside of Leonardo's room. One hand was pressed against the door; his head down. They had moved him out from the infirmary earlier. His legs were in a lot of pain and Donatello had to give him a sedative to help him deal with the agony. It put him to sleep and he missed dinner. Michelangelo figured he'd probably be hungry and had no way to get any food for himself and knowing his oldest brother, he wouldn't want to call out and bother anyone for something as trivial as hunger.

Michelangelo crept closer. Then he heard it. He froze, listening. The sound was muffled, as if Leo was doing his best to cover the noise, perhaps pushing his face deep into his pillow, but despite his effort they heard it. Master Splinter lifted his sorry gaze; amber eyes bright with tears and met Michelangelo's eyes. He could barely stand the sadness he saw in his father's face, but the soft, muffled-in-shame noises coming from Leonardo's room was so much worse to endure.

It was a broken sound; his muffled sobbing and choking. Michelangelo's heart cringed as he heard Leonardo suddenly cry out her name in an anguished filled voice. Michelangelo's heart dropped as his mind spun. His brother was hurting for her. Karai, after everything she did to him. Why? How? He stared at the cooling soup in his hands, suddenly remembering something Donatello had said to him before.

_He was right, I don't really understand anything._

* * *

The sirens cried out in the night; wailing like lost children in the night. Crying and crying, it drove her mad listening to the sound. She caught the distant and fleeting whiff of smoke on the air. There was a fire in the city not far from here, somewhere in the neighborhood. She didn't have much time and cursed her sluggish body and wandering mind. Pushing her languid feet, one step at a time, she managed, somehow, to finally arrive at her destination.

The burnt out church loomed above her in shadow. The ruined building seemed to glare at her in silent accusation; every corner, every angle, seemed to grimace and shrink away from her presence. But then again, perhaps it was only the anti-depressants he'd put her on; to assist with the act she had to keep up. An ache, both delicate and severe squeezed her heart with each beat it took. Pain flowed through her veins along with blood. Her existence had become nothing more than one long sorrowful malaise. Her father and she were leaving for Japan in an hour. Just enough time left to do what she needed to do. It made her eyes burn to look at the church; so she didn't stand there too long; just quickly climbed inside as she shook the can in her fist and then began spraying. She had to be careful. Just enough for him to know . . . she hoped.

* * *

Another week went by and Leo started to train again, slowly. He still didn't eat much, preferring only broth, usually at the end of the day. Donatello's worry for his brother's state of mind grew. April remained distant and Donatello knew his moment to reveal his true feelings to her would never be recovered. She was giving them space to heal, she'd explained in one particularly long text to him. Donatello closed his phone with a frown; set it aside disgustedly. He needed to grow up and move on past this ridiculous crush.

All he needed to do to see true loss and heartache would be to glance in Leonardo's direction; lost in his own bleak world; training seemed to be the only comfort he found. What was his pain when compared to what Leonardo had experienced and then lost so brutally? Whoever said tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all, never must have been in love, he thought bitterly. What could he do to help his brother?

 _You could tell him the truth_ , a voice in his mind whispered.  _No. No way_ , Donatello argued with himself.  _Leo will get through this. He just needs time._

* * *

Leonardo continued to be withdrawn as the weeks pressed onward. Three months had now passed since his ordeal with the Shredder and Karai. He devoted longer and longer hours to the dojo, trained harder and harder as his body healed. He still ate little and spoke even less. He lost a considerable amount of weight. His slight body became harder, the muscle chiseled; his face less rounded; more angular. Even his eyes had become harder, a glint of steel seemed to have taken up permanent residence within his dark blue eyes. His entire body now resembled a living emerald statue carved from the hardest stone, reflecting perfectly the transformation happening to his heart.

Each time they went topside, Donatello began to notice he would pause at a certain intersection of tunnels. They would be jogging along, feet splashing through the murky water; Michelangelo and Raphael dashing ahead of them, teasing and pushing at each other, competing for speed and endurance as always; Donatello just behind Leo, when it would happen. His feet would slow, falter, until he stopped. He'd be still for a moment, gazing down the passageway. Until something would bring him back, snap him to reality and he'd turned as though nothing had happened and they'd continue with their nightly patrols and exercises. Donatello wondered.

One night, Leonardo was ahead of them, racing with Michelangelo along the rooftops when Donatello grabbed Raphael's arm.

"Hey, do you know where the tunnels lead before our last two lefts?"

Raphael titled his head, counting back; thinking. He frowned.

"Yeah, Donnie, I do. I wouldn't worry about it."

"What do you mean?"

Raphael shook his head, glancing at Leonardo running with Michelangelo along the parapet. He leaned his crossed arms up against the rough concrete barrier on the roof. Leonardo's form was lithe and graceful beneath the long black trench coat he wore. He started dressing in jackets, coats, jeans, anything, before going out now. No one said anything about it. One day he asked Leo, as casually as possible and Leo had replied flatly that he was cold. He didn't like to be cold. The night air was chilled, but far from being cold. When later he asked Donatello, he'd explained it had something to do with Leonardo's mind, something about the frost bite that nearly cost him a toe and several of his fingers. Which had frightened them all, since they didn't exactly have fingers to spare.

Raphael watched Leonardo's expression from the roof top. He heard the bark of exuberant laughter from Mikey. But Leo didn't laugh, and that was okay, Mikey was laughing enough for both of them. What mattered to Raph was that Leo was out with them,  _trying_  to be back to normal, and that was enough for Raph.

"Those tunnels lead to the  _church_ ," he said significantly and with an aggravated sigh. "Why?"

Donatello's eyes dropped.  _Ah_. "N-No reason."

* * *

A gentle tapping brought Donatello's attention away from the plans he was drawing for a redesign of the shellraiser. He looked up as April walked in and nearly fell out of his chair. The pencil he'd been holding in his mouth dropped; bounced off his lap and rolled to April's feet. She bent picked it up and held it out to him with a smile that made his heart stop.

"Hi, Donatello."

"A-April. I didn't know you were coming over."

"Sorry I didn't call first. I just wanted to drop by really quick. I can't stay long."

"Oh."

She slid her hands into her back pockets and looked all around the room, everywhere except for Donatello's face.

"Sit down," he offered and stood up awkwardly. Now they were both standing. April bit her lip.

"Look, Donnie. I . . . I wanted to tell you, uh, before you heard from someone else."

Slowly she held up her left hand. Something caught the light and sparkled.

"Casey asked me last night, in the park, under the full moon…"

He felt the world slowing down as she seemed to go on and on describing the moment forever; he was like out of a fairy tale, the handsome prince, he was perfect, the night was perfect, the moon was perfect, the stars were singing to them, the entire world stopped while he got down on one knee and gave up a collective 'aw' at the sight. He leaned to the right and caught the edge of his desk with his hand. If his desk hadn't have been there he was sure he would've continued pitching to the side until he hit the ground like a felled tree. The walls, ceiling and floor around him faded to black; his stomach curdled and did a sickening flop as it hit his feet. Someone else was talking in a forced and monotone voice and he realized it was him.

"Well, congratulations then, April. I'm . . . so . . . happy for you…"

Before he could move, she advanced, like a killer whale tearing into a hapless, unaware seal, she caught him up and embraced him. He felt his numb body go cold with her touch. Dizziness swept through him and it took everything he had not to vomit all down her back. She then had the nerve to plant a kiss onto his cheek.

He closed his eyes, thinking only for a second, that maybe this was just a nightmare, wished for it to be only that. Maybe wishes did come true. If you wished hard enough, if you wanted it enough, if you were good and worked hard and were honest and trustworthy and loving and devoted and gave wholly of yourself, maybe then just maybe the fates would be kind to you and grant one small wish.

_Please don't let this be true. I love her too much for this to be true._

"Thank you, Donnie. For everything." Her voice was whispery and light with sweet emotions, blissfully unaware of the effect she was having on him; the pain she was inflicting with her shining euphoria. She glanced at her watch.

"Oh gosh, I really have to go." She beamed at him one more time before she turned to go. "Thanks again for everything. I'll let you know when we've picked the date!"

"Yes . . . please do that."

The door closed behind her; as it did it closed on all his feeble hopes and pathetic dreams. He didn't remember how he got there, but he was suddenly on his knees, pitching forward, gasping for oxygen as his hands struck the floor, cheeks wet.

* * *

The next night, Donatello stared blankly at the plans for the redesign of the shellraiser, crushing it up in his fists and launched it at the wall as someone quietly entered. He looked and did a double take then stood.

"Leo, what's the matter?"

He slowly raised his deep blue eyes up to meet Donatello's. There was a vague distant look in his eyes, as he asked,

"Do you have any kerosene?"

* * *

Donatello raced behind Leo through the sewers followed by Raph who was followed by Michelangelo. The large container of flammable liquid sloshed as it bounced against Leo's leg. He wasn't running, but more of a relentless determined march. How he kept ahead of them, Donatello couldn't understand. But he did and they were panting as they tried to catch him.

"Where's he taken us?" Mikey asked breathlessly for the fifth time from behind Raphael.

They came to the tunnel juncture and Leonardo did not hesitate but continued on.

Raphael raced to catch up with Donatello. "Donnie, what's he doin' with that?" He pointed at the container, his voice betrayed the fear hidden beneath his anger.

With wide eyes, Donatello said, "I-I think I know…but…"

Raphael pushed Donatello back and ran up to Leo as he ascended up the ladder. He went up swift and stealthily before Raphael's fingers could grasp at the edge of his coat.

"Hey, slow down, bro," Raph said, but it was more of a plea for him to stop. Leo ignored him.

"Yeah, where's the fire?" Michelangelo called out and Donatello glared at him. He stopped in his tracks. "What? What did I say?"

They dashed up the ladder behind Raphael and could just make out Leo's diminishing form in the deepening shadows.

"Shit." Raphael caught up to Leo, skipped around to block his onward momentum. "Hey, buddy, you really think this is such a good idea?"

Leonardo cocked an eyebrow in his direction but said nothing. He shouldered past Raphael and unscrewed the cap. The noxious fumes of the kerosene assaulted their noses as Leo moved around the ruined church, with jerking and ragged movements, pouring the liquid all over and up the sides of the dilapidated walls. He disappeared inside through their entrance. Donatello and Raphael started and exchanged a terrified look having the same horrible notion at the same time.

"Leo…"  _"Leo!"_  They called at the same time and scrambled through the opening where he had disappeared into. Michelangelo stumbling in behind them.

"What the heck is going on with you guys?" he asked but snapped his mouth shut as he looked past where his brothers stood in stunned silence.

The angel with the broken wings stood as she always had, in the alcove where the pillows and blankets that Leo and Karai had shared still lay, gathering dust and feathers. Over the front of her grey gown, in light blue spray paint, the exact shade of blue of Leo's mask, was a message.

'Remember me.'

The can of kerosene fell from Leonardo's fist. His shoulders shook. As if in a dream, he slowly pulled the protective wrappings free from his right wrist. The white shreds of the fabric drifted down around his legs to his feet, twisting and curling. With a hammering heart he stared at the tattoo Karai had given him. Her words as she showed him,  _'…so you'll remember me…'_  The memory cut into his heart and it bled inside him. The room spun and for one moment his vision went black. He trembled but remained standing; willing himself not to pass out. For a long moment no one moved, no one said a word.

Donatello wondered what was going through Leonardo's mind. A stab of guilt went through him. He steeled himself and clenched his jaw. He was doing what was right for his brother. He was protecting him where no one else could.

 _If he ever finds out, he will never forgive you, Donatello. Never._ He had to keep the secret to keep his brother safe. He knew he was risking his relationship with his brother. He'll just have to never find out, Donatello reaffirmed to himself, his fists shaking at his sides. _And he never will._

Finally, Leo dropped his hands to his sides as if all the strength had suddenly fled from his arms. From behind they saw his head drop. Then swiftly he stooped and picked up the container.

Mikey cried out, fearing the worst, "Oh man! Don't do it, Leo!"

"No, Leo, don't do anything stupid," Raph said, his voice shaky.

Leonardo lifted the container and started to douse the statue. Raphael, relieved that he wasn't dousing himself with the flammable liquid, still was shaken. He grabbed at his brother's shell, his fingers slipped against the fabric of his trench coat, but Leo shrugged him roughly away.

"No!" Leo shouted, his voice strained and harsh.

"Leo, please, bro. Calm down."

Leonardo flung the last of the liquid over the base of the statue, the blanket the pillows. He launched the empty container to one side. He reached up and grabbed the edges of the statue as Raphael grappled with his shell, trying to stop him before he hurt himself. Michelangelo and Donatello could only watch, mouths opened, in shock. With an agonized scream, Leonardo tipped the statue over, it broke through several burned out boards as it fell, raising a huge cloud of dust and ash. The head of the angel broke free and rolled into the shadows, one cracked wing broke free and turned to rubble, spilling across burnt wood and brick. The panicked doves fluttered and scattered above them until escaping into the dark night beyond. Panting heavily, he closed his eyes, then turned to Raph. His eyes were pools of despair and hatred.

"You . . . you got a-a light?"

Raphael, mouth hanging open, frowned and nodded numbly and produced from his belt a lighter. Leonardo nodded as he panted and flicked it a few times with his thumb. The spark snapping in the dim shadows.

"Wait,  _wait_!" Donatello shouted as he shoved Michelangelo back, stumbling over the broken pews. Raphael grabbed Leo's arm and yanked him back just as the flame caught and he casually tossed it into the pile of soaked pillows.

The red and yellow flame erupted with a whooshing, breath taking noise. The brothers scrambled out from the building as the cracked and dry material within caught fire. They stumbled over each other and landed in an ungraceful heap on the stony ground outside.

Leo raised himself up on one elbow, still panting, watching over one shoulder as the flames rose up through the ruined building and filled the crevices in dancing, writhing fury. The fire light reflected in his storm-colored eyes. He felt Raphael's hand clasp him on his shoulder, pat him roughly and release. He looked at Raphael who nodded grimly, then to his younger brothers.

Slowly, he came to sit next to them. Together they sat and watched as what remained of the building succumbed to the merciless fire. They sat in silence until the sirens called them home.


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo isn't the only one with scars to endure.

 

The ships drifted on the sparkling sea, spreading out from the crowded bay into the glittering water beyond. From the roof of her building, she could make them out, tiny white specks in the distance, heading for other shores, hauling goods and equipment and men. How she envied their freedom. A breeze blew around her and she blinked with watering eyes. The only time her eyes were moist was when she stood here and the crisp wind would rise from the sea and kiss her face. The sweetness and sharpness of it raising her tears. She heard the door creak as it opened. Sensed the tentative footsteps approach. She turned to the young man holding a stack of papers in his hands.

"Mistress, the new shipment from Singapore has arrived. They are awaiting your confirmation."

"I'll be right there."

He bowed stiffly and left swiftly. Rumors of her cruelty and capacity for carrying out her father's orders with cold commitment and lack of scruples traveled far and made the impact her father had planned. She was respected but more importantly, she was feared. She snorted lightly through her nose. If they only knew.

If they only knew her vivid dreams night after night were the same repeated visions of the man with smooth green skin and deep storm-blue eyes; who held her and made love to her most tenderly beneath a broken angel. The only one she'd ever loved, or would ever love. She wondered as a gull cried out above her, if his brother had delivered her message or not. She wondered often if her message on the angel was received and understood. She wondered…did he remember her? Think of her? Still love her?

The gull was joined by three more birds. Each soaring above her head, echoing each other's frantic and lonely calls. She watched them rise higher into the clouds. And wished with all her heart she could go with them. She would fly over the miles of land and across the vast oceans that parted them if only for a glimpse of him once more.

But heart's desires seldom came to be. Especially for those who were not quite part of the world that existed around them.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of The Tender Trap. I hope you enjoyed my take on this romance. I am so very grateful for all the reviews. They kept me writing. I hope you have a chance to read and review my other stories.
> 
> Seeing that Michelangelo had such a small cameo in this story, I wrote a short story that will take place shortly after the events in this story that will feature him as well as how Leonardo is faring and the deepening complications between Don and April. The story is titled MIKEY'S GIRL. It's sort of a part 1 1/2 to this.
> 
> One last thing; music brings me immense inspiration. If I could offer a soundtrack to this story, or rather, explain which songs I listened to and this story was inspired by, it would feature these songs:
> 
> Stubborn Love by The Lumineers
> 
> Please Don't Leave Me by Pink
> 
> White Blank Page by Mumford and Sons
> 
> Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones
> 
> So Cruel by U2
> 
> Once by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova


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